My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Read 'Em And Weep

 Since half the fun of raising kids is messing with their heads (just a little), Cake Wrecks is proud to present:

 A Handy Guide to

Slightly Alternative Children's Literature!

  Glow, Dogs, Glow


 Thomas, the Half-Engine


The Velveeta Rabbit


Wonky Willies


Goodnight, Half-Moon


The Lizards of Odd


And that perennial favorite

Hairy Polyps and The Deathly Swallows


(Spoiler Alert:  Wooldemort did it.)


Thanks to Amber L., Anony, Kelly M., Anon, Sarah Lee T., Kate S., and Kristin P., for helping me look at kids' books in a whole new way.

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Reader Comments (73)

These are too dang funny! "Good Night Half Moon"! Sharyn, your talent is amazing!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

*gigglesnorts at Hairy Polyps and the Deathly Swallows*
Ah Sharyn, you crack me up... :P

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I want to assume that the last ones are spiders...but then what did they do with the legs? 0_o

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

Look at Thomas plow through that deep snow!!!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark

Even though slightly painful to the eyes, I quite like the neon doggies!!!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaaike

What really scares me abouth those puppies is the sign. "Puppy Dog CUPCAKES" - what amount of frosting does one need to get this shape out of a cupcake?

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMiA

This whole post makes me think of the way Calvin's dad used to mess with his head in "Calvin & Hobbes"; specifically the strip where dear ol' Dad told him that the sun sets in Flagstaff, Arizona and that's why the rocks are so red around there. Another time he told him that babies come from Sears; well, MOST babies--Calvin himself was a blue-light special from K-Mart. Off-strip, Mom was yelling, "Dear, what are you telling him THIS time?"

It explains a lot.

Anybody else remember those strips?

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I know the Wonky Willies are supposed to be mushrooms, but dear God . . . once you've seen it, you can't unsee it!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

Haha, I love it! I like the Glow Dogs, Glow too, especially since that was my daughter's favorite book when she was a toddler.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea H.

The rabbit cake looks like a reject from a Jim Henson movie.
And how cute!! Those 'lizards' are trying to fix the cracked cake by licking it.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Ooh, the Hairy Polyps come from a chain of stores nearby! I should look and see if my local store has some.

Or maybe I'm better off not seeing them in person. :o Hilarious post, Sharyn!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

I was so sure that last one was going to be Everybody Poops!

Too obvious?

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Librarian says,
"Let's not shelve Wonky Willies
next to the Half-Moon."

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"The Velveeta Rabbit." *coffeesnort*

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNoni Mausa

The Wonky Willies also look like those creepy killer mushrooms from Mom and Dad Save the Universe!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie J

Bwahahaha Sharyn you are hysterical XD XD on another note, if those wonky willies are supposed to be mushrooms, I wonder if the baker has a gutter mind like we do O_o the other cakes hehehehe

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

@SaraCVT - "Calvin and Hobbes" is the best comic strip EVER!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

I agree with a couple of the other commenters - the dog cakes are kinda cute. And they vaguely look like dogs. Although I wouldn't mind seeing the cupcake to frosting ratio for them.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbb

okay, I kind of like the big bunny. Does that mean there's something wrong with me?? Now I'm worried....

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSara L.

The last ones look like the susuwatari (dust balls) from Spirited Away and My Neighbour Totoro :) ...Or maybe that's just wishful thinking :P

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

The blue mushrooms are puzzling. They are apparently by Niederegger Marzipan and they normally don't go in for so much food colouring, mostly just pink piggies (good luck charms) and the like. I'm not even sure they are mushrooms - blue ones? - but what else? I can't find anything like them on their website.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKeks

@SaraCVT I totally remember that! Best. Comic. Strip. Of. All. Time.
Great post!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

@ SaraCVT - I remember those Calvin and Hobbes strips! My favorites of those variety were the ones where his dad tells him about his dinner. I also loved the ones of the snowmen and jack-o-lanterns in their bizarre and gorey goodness.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindaS

Hahaha this is a great post - totally love it! I kinda want there to be a Glow Dog Glow book now ;)

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMassachusEATS

Am I the only one who cries when Sharyn does a post, because it means we'll likely see none of her lyrics that day in the comments?
But great post Sharyn!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHappy Camper

Could the blue mushrooms be yelly fish? But who wants to eat a maripan jelly fish with a face?

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKeks

Blurbin’ the Books…

“Glow, Dog, Glow”
You’ll be mopping up the tears of laughter as you follow the hilarious, riveting tale of a family of neon Komondors who live at the end of a radioactive rainbow.

“Thomas, the Half-Engine”
Subtitled, “The Little Engine That Couldn’t,” this sad story of a train from the wrong side of the tracks combines mystery and pathos as we wonder if Thomas will ever get his wheels and be able to follow the straight and narrow.

“The Velveeta Rabbit”
A rather cheesy tale of a woodland creature who is accused of a crime and subsequently grilled.

“Wonky Willies”
A somewhat stiff account of three stand-up guys and the in’s and out’s of their lives. (Publisher’s note: non-abridged, hole edition) (Parental advisory: although this is a young-adult book, the ending, which climaxes in a dark tunnel, may be too intense for some readers.)

Goodnight, Half-Moon”
Behind in your reading? You’ll love this short book which features a unique ending. To be read slowly and enjoyed – do not give it the bum’s rush.

“The Lizards of Odd”
Unfortunately, not all it’s cracked up to be.

“Hairy Polyps and The Death Swallows”
The last in the Hairy Hemorrhoid series, this volume recalls Hairy’s dark beginning as a young polyp.

@Sharyn…a tip o’ the library card to you…well done, well done!!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

The hairy polyps remind me of the cute little dust motes from "My Neighbor Totoro" and "Spirited Away".

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

LOVE the Velveeta rabbit! Frosting should not be radioactive yellow. Of course cheese shouldn't be either, but I don't think Velveeta actually counts as cheese.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

The Wonky Willies remind me of the killer mushrooms in Mom and Dad Save The World!!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

P.D. Leastman
Reverend Wilbert Awry
Beatrix Botched'er
Roald "Dah!"
Margaret, Why's Down?
L. Frank Bomb (too easy?)
J.K. Scowling

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

My lemon poodle of doom is now evolving into a rainbow of neon doggies of doom! ahhhh ha hahahahahahah!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVixx

Yep, probably jellyfish, although here, p. 17 it's only lobster, starfish, fish, and seahorse. Maybe they had doubts themselves ;-).

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKeks

I finally learned to put down my coffee before reading Cake Wrecks. Then I read this post and almost peed myself. (Another side effect of reproduction.) The Velveeta Rabbit and Hairy Polyps made my day, thank you!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

Great job, Sharyn!

I thought you were gonna go with "The Little Engine That Just Couldn't". : D

Hairy Polyps and the Deathly Swallows! Heehee. I suddenly feel slightly itchy.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Haiku Joy!!!! I just got around to reading the rest of Friday's posts. Low and behold! Haiku Joy posted. Wow, ask and you shall receive.

*waves enthusiastically at Haiku Joy* Hi! Hope your classes are going well. I always get hungry for bagels when I hear the word lumbago. ;- )

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@mel: your comment is the perfect companion to today's post!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

OMG HaikuJoy :D i've missed you

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

there was that one episode of Friends when Joey has the girlfriend but didn't know what to get her for her birthday, but Chandler gave him an idea of an antique children's book that she loved, and when Joey gave it to the girl, he said "because I know you love rabbits and I know you love cheese" This is obviously the cake for that event.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermo

These may be my favorite comments of all time. Haiku Joy, haven't seen you post for a while, you've been missed!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlaxmom

Wonky Willies and Hairy Polyps should never appear in the same post as half-moons. Seriously.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The Velveeta Rabbit.....if it's 4 layers is it still a cupcake?

And maybe the "cup" that the doggie cupcakes were made from was a coffee cup laid on its side?

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Wonky Willies, Wonky Willies, Wonky Willies, Wonky Willies! Heh heh heh! Can't stop! Heh heh heh!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeg D

Do you suffer from hairy polyps? Or have a wonky willie? Ask Dr. Oz your most embarrassing questions!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I kind of like the bunny cake; reminds me of Wallace and Grommet.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSamanthaPDX

@Sharyn: Great job as always!
@mel: LOL!
@ Haiku Joy: It's wonderful to see you back on the blog. :)

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

Awesome job Sharyn but mel, you just about killed me this time!
Hairy Polyps and the Deathly Swallows.... bhahahahaha

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Shouldn't those cheeks be inside Half-Moon's jeans???

Sharyn - great post!
Calvin and Hobbs rules!!! I miss that comic!
@Vixx - love Neon Doggies of Doom! Great name for a band!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlower Girl

Sharyn, Haiku Joy, and mel to cap it off! If we're to have a non-Jen post, then this is the way to do it!

@mel- Perfect! ROTFL!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

The "Glow Dogs, Glow" are cupcakes????!!! It looks like there must be 6 pounds of frosting.

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

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