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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov082012

Limer-Icks

There once was a wedding confection

That failed the bride's final inspection

So we grabbed an airbrush

Painted it in a rush

And told Yanks it was for their election!

 

 

I'm finding it rather outrageous

That I have to spend some of my wages

On a cake for my Dad

Of a girl, partly clad

Is it me, or does she look contagious?

 

 

I hope you don't find me neurotic

But I'm sure my new heart is necrotic

It rattles and shakes

And I think that it's cake...

Did I mention my surgeon's psychotic?

 

 

Clap your hands for poor Tinkerbell

A bee sting has caused her to swell

Grab a fresh EpiPen

And inject her again

For she's really just not looking well.

 

 

 If you just can't spell "congratulations"

And your piping skills won't win ovations

You should find a career

Where you won't end up here

 

 

 

Or at least take extended vacations.

 

 

I once saw a cake in Nantucket

That had frosting applied by the bucket

Though it's called a nice gift

It's too heavy to lift

So I guess that I'll just have to chuck it.

 

 

Thanks to Fiona N., Annabelle K., Melissa J., Michael C.,  Miranda B., Wendy R., Erika H., and Arlene for making me speak in rhyme all day. (Hey guys, are there rocks ahead?)

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Reader Comments (80)

Bahahaha got some much needed laughs(been campining out at my cousin's apt after the sorm, not sure when I will be going home.)

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Should have said STORM

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

To enjoy that last cake-cornucopia,
Would require a bad case of myopia:
Surely someone's deluded --
That frosting's extruded,
And the texture ends up looking soapier.

(Well, imagine Stephen Fry reading it...)

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSFisher

2nd one looks like a minion....

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue

Is it just me, or does that torso look like Patrick with goggles and a poor excuse for a snorkel?

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBlackWidowNor

Trekkie Gal and anyone else who don't understand the "Are there rocks ahead line" You really ought to see "The Princess Bride" Really, I have never met anyone who saw it that didn't love it.

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertony14

Oh yeah... The Princess Bride! I haven't seen it in years, forgot all about the rhymers. Time to watch it again. :-)

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

My daughter's comment on the heart cake:

"You're not fooling anyone, big orange blob!"

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue

You have a wonderful gift for rhyme! It's almost inconceivable! Hmmmm, does that mean what I think it means? Never mind. Anybody want a peanut?

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

Sharyn, you wrote a wonderful post! I just loved it.

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

There once was a baker named Tad
Who needed a cake for his dad
He said, "Well, of course-o
I'll bake him a torso!"
Who dreamed it would turn out so bad?

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I'm going into a diabetic coma just looking at that last cake. And poor, poor Tinkerbell...wow.

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

well...so I'm not nuts...(well..maybe a little) 'cause I was sure this post's author was listed as Jen when I posted ... now I see the correction and it's actually by Sharyn! One re-write comin' up:

Thanks for keeping limericks alive,
A lost art, for which many strive,
You've given us laughs
With these bakery gaffes...
For you, clever Sharyn, a high five!

@SuBee: so good to see you on the playground again!!

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Actually, I think that the 'Tinkerbell' cake looks a lot more like Eleanor from the Chipettes.

And thanks so much to Sharyn & all the commentators for all of the Princess Brides rhymes/quotes! My 12-yr-old daughter and I couldn't stop laughing!!

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLucinda

I am trying to figure out what shape of cake pan was used for poor Tinkerbell, and what it is actually supposed to be used for. Even the pan from the other day wouldn't have looked worse!

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Pubes on a cake! No thanks. I don't care if they're real or not. :P I don't know where that cake came from, but it's definitely not Brazilian!

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

@SuBee Omigoodness, when I first read the cornocopia of poop line, I thought "That doesn't rhyme.....ohhhhHHHHHHHH!!!" Now I'm going to giggle at inappropriate times tomorrow.


There once was a fairy whose glands
Made difficult her flying plans
Her problem with girth
Dropped her down back to Earth
Lay off of the Pilsbury Grands

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

I came to this site for diversion;
A jolly good wrecky excursion,
But these cakes you have here
Offend all I hold dear.
I believe I shall faint! Fetch a surgeon!

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I thought the heart cake was going to be "heart-shaped", but no, it's a actual human heart in cake form. That's pretty cool.

The icing mistake reading "Convatulaions" is presumably for a vampire.

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine

Wow! Is there ANY actual cake material in the last one? I mean, it's pretty, but it's a mouthful of powdered sugar! Too funny.

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

Yeah you featured my photo!! Cant believe they were charging £320 for that!!! I hadn't even noticed when I sent it in!

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFiona N

That fifth one is obviously for a zoo resident having recently completed a degree-by-correspondence program. "CongratuLION!"

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

That heart cake made me jump. EWWWWWWWWWWWW

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrudy

That Tinkerbell cake is making me think of Martin Short in that old 90's move, Pure Luck. The part where he gets stung by a bee and starts swelling up like a balloon. ha ha ha!

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAli

Congratulion Zoll ...

November 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShand

i think that first cake would be a cake wreck even with out the airbrushing.

November 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

"Congvatulations" is my new favorite word. Go on, tell me that's not fun to say: conGVATulations! Try it with a Yiddish accent. Awesome.

November 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertoasty

Ugh, all these comments! TL;DR. Or, in other words, I "skipped to the end!"

November 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Just wanted to add that when my 3-year-old son saw the Tinkerbell cake, he immediately pointed and said "rhinoceros". Just sayin'.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobynHeud

Well, I'm glad Jen posted an explanation about changing the author tag line! Of course it properly credits Sharyn now, but the first dozen or so posts were like "Great, Jen!", "Terrific, Jen!" and I'm thinking are they all BLIND?! How could they see the wrecks and not see who wrote this fantastic TPB post?! ;-)

And kudos to SuBee for all the incredible limericks! I think you deserve the "best commentator of the day" award, with lots of frosting on top! (In fact, maybe you should do limericks every day like Sharyn does songs! :-)

December 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

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