My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Finding the Words, Losing the Lunch

For those of you who aren't planning on dumping your significant other this Valentine's day, there's still time left for that ultimate declaration of affection:

"Your love sticks to my socks when I walk in the woods."

Yep. That's love.


Here's an invitation to the Tunnel of Love if I ever saw one:


The Tunnel appears to have sprung a leak.



And who says you have to express your love for a *person*? Maybe you just really, REALLY love gardening:

He's a rakish sort of fella.


Just beware of cakes that require an explanation, because those can get messy fast.

"Why does the 'I' look like that?'s a thermometer! Yeah. You know, for taking your lurve temperature, IF you know what I...where are you going? Come back! I also have Cheerwine!"


Yep, when it comes to the big day, it's all about finding the right words:

These aren't them.





We have a winner!


Thanks to Jen M., Sarah A., Zoe C., Vanessa B., Allie D., Sara S., & Erica L. for proving that "huge me," much like the "super bowel," just never gets old.

« Sunday Sweets: Be My Valentine? | Main | Breaking Up is Heart To Do »

Reader Comments (73)

So who would be the urpimp? Who ran the harems back in the day?

And am I the only one who thought that first one said "Buxin' for you"?

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I pretty much sprayed my mouthful of tea all over the computer when I read your *leaky* Love comment.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

A hoe to garden,
A ho to, um, "plant" your "seed."
Ah, young homonyms!

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Finish the clause, yo!
My cute what? Mind? Behind? Stein?
Now I'll never know . . .

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Forget the cakes. (Please, let me be able to forget the cakes.) Anyone who offers me Cheerwine is a winner. I'm in New York--after trying some in NC last summer, we stopped on the way home and brought back four twelve-packs.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

It may look like a CCC (patooie), but that fourth cake is actually made entirely of ding dongs. (The baker was thrilled she could finally try out that new font.)

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

OMG. I can't believe you made a Cheerwine reference!

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I don't know why I'm laughing. But thanks.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

OOOhhhh! These are so bad. Gardening Pimps? Interesting. Is it just me, or does that last wreck look like it's iced with Crest toothpaste?

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C in So Fla

You be mines, and I'll be your.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

#2 cake is clearly an infected cervix.

That is all.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Did someone sneeze on that 'Kiss' cake?
The fifth one is Gollum's cake and the last one, well, he's mine....

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

HUGE ME! Classic! And yes Jen, it NEVER gets old. :) As for the "leaky" cake, perhaps that's a spouse's way of gently pointing out some recent bladder problems. I <3 the first cake and yes, I thought it said "buxin" too! Wow, some bakers really forget their second grade spelling and others, well I think others just love using that amoeba shaped cake-mold that's been gathering dust in back for years...

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

Wow, they even put dirt on the top of the "Hoe" cake! Going for realism?

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

"Be mines." It's actually a chemistry reference. The real message of the cake is "Meet me tonight in the beryllium mines."

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBob

@Fluffy Cow- Thank you! I am so glad I was not the only one who saw swollen lady bits in that O.


February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

My OT contribution today: my students' Words of the Day this week were Kafkaesque, kinescope, klaxon, and klieg light. I didn't realize until yesterday that I had an unintentional theme. Three of the four are former trademarks gone generic.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

CHEERWINE!!! YAY- do they have it in the Publix in Orlando?......cuz they do in Jacksonville and I was going to rub it in with a nannie nannie boo boo if they don't! :)

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeri

If my "love" leaked liked that i"d see a gyno D:

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Nooooo!! The "Your Cute" cake would've almost been a win. Drat the hides of the people who didn't pay attention in English class!

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBethany B.

I'm still laughing about the "burin."
Thank you.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharo

Wish I had someone to 'huge me". :(

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I'm thinkin' that ain't no leak on cake #2 -- but the happy tail of a little swimmer who accepted the invitation into the... ah...tunnel of love.....

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

I was thinking the "Be Mines" cake was ordered by's so precious ;-D

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

I was actually dumped on Valentine's Day about 10 years ago. Now I usually celebrate the "holiday" with a wreck like this on purpose.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

Totally telling my entire family that there is a Cheerwine reference in today's post. Just made my Friday (okay, that and "Huge Me" really doesn't get old)!

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKSLSRocks

Apparently no one told the last baker that size doesn't matter. (or does it? muahahahaha)

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

I saw Bwin' on that first one.

I don't think that's a Tunnel of Love invitation. Look how the colors ran; the purple ran to the left and the pink ran...up? I think it's one of those word puzzles. It's the word "Love" on a rounded mound of cake, which means......oh my.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

#1 They forgot the second 'r'. Blue Oyster Cult's 'Burnin' For You' was on the mental playlist just *before* I started reading this post. [cue Twilight Zone theme]

#2 This cake is definitely in the running.

#3 Why don't I think the customer understands the meta-message he's sending. Changing relationship status to 'single' in 3...2...1.

#4 This is a fan cake, from a wreckerator who has never seen KISS's logo.

#5 Ah, the many uses of mustard. Can't really improve on @Bob's chemistry comment.

#6 'Advertised Deals', eh? I guess we know why it's on the 'discount shelf'. I'd be tempted to get it and have them write apostrophe-r-e on it, but I can guess how that would turn out, starting with misspelling 'apostrophe'.

#7 Notice to employees: If you're going to sample, at least do a better job of covering it up. Does anyone else suspect that there are rogues out there who *ask* for 'huge' in place of 'hug'? Nah, couldn't be.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Honestly people! Do you spell check the cakes you get on Valentine's Day? It's the thought that counts.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine Mary

"Huge Me". Similar to "Despicable Me", but, well... Larger...

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Except a bit in the lower left corner, there.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

#4: Even though it's a CCC, I do like the colors and the sprinkles. And thinking of all that extra frosting you usually get on a CCC is making me drool. Not the "I" - 'cuz that's just not right.

Jen, your writing (as usual) was superb!

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

Does the first one say "Burin'" or "Bwun'?"

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

As to Cheerwine:

As a native North Carolinian recently relocated to Detroit, I have already felt the pangs of missing Cheerwine. Darn you for being a regional delicacy! But wait, there is good news! You can order Cheerwine and have it delivered to wherever your heart fancies.

The best reason I've found yet to get a job.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwillow_kidd

The "your cute" cake isn't really a wreck. It's like those Valentine's cards that let you fill in the blank with the recipient's name, only instead of filling in the name, you fill in whatever you think is cute, e.g. "your cute smile" or "your cute face". It's still not a complete sentence, but it's a nice sentiment.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEris

Ah I love that you mentioned Cheerwine! Clearly you are well educated. =D Could you possibly do a post on Cheerwine??? More people need to know about that goodness!

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeg S

I live in NC. Cheerwine is NASTY.

And yes, Sunshine Mary, yes I do. I would be really annoyed if my husband paid money for a cake that had bad grammar.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

The last cake had an extra dose of Silent E. Per the Tom Lehrer song: "A hug becomes HUGE instantly - don't add W, don't add X, and don't add Y or Z, just add Silent E."

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMehitabell

The hoe/pimp cake was definitely in poor taste. Let's hope it tastes good.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermouse

Your cute what?

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEd

Hmmmm...I'm kinda seein' a huge pink "sperm" with a mission for Valentine's Day...

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

Aargh - what of mine is cute? And what were you going to say about it? You just don't know how to communicate!

And although I'm a *big* fan of the huge me mistake, what I first saw was "Hnge Me" which brought about a whole new world of questions...

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaury

@Sunshine Mary, as one of the founders of the Department Of Corrections (DOC), I spell check *everything*, including comments (waggles eyebrows).

You wouldn't believe the amount of spelling, grammar and fact checking that goes into a Cake Wrecks comment -- I remember well how poor John (thoJ) was pilloried for daring to suggest that there was such a thing as a Gerber daisy. Which people buy every day that daisies are sold without being laughed out of the nursery, but that's a whole other EPCOT.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Am I the only one who thought that "O" in LOVE looked like a sperm? LOL

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertexanmom

The BOC song always made me wonder if maybe he was "burnin" for her because he contracted some nasty social disease from a groupie. Putting it on a cake certainly doesn't help elevate that association. Polite nod to you for the Cheerwine reference. Although I live in Kentucky and thus have to harbor malice in my heart for all things Duke-related, they really do have a quite nice soda pop in that Cheerwine. Beats our Ale 81 by a country mile. Pun intended.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

So am I the only one for whom that first cake evoked thoughts of STDs? How to say "I still love you, but I thought you should know how it feels when I pee" with your Valentine's Day cake.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCat

"Burnin' for you" sounds like a visit to the dr is required.

It almost seems like an easy target, picking on the supermarket cakes.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Actually it says Burin. Burin for you.

And the L, which looks like an upside down nose, is runny and drippy too. And a L looks like an upside down nose.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

In keeping with yesterday's necklace, "Your Cute ...' would make better sense with bumps down

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I really love you.

Huge me.

February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDrEvilSpawn

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