Have a "Heart"

To top that oh-so-sweet Valentine I wrote you yesterday, I've decided that today I shall serenade you. Yep. Full-on karaoke style, bebeh.

And since you can't actually hear me, it's your choice whether I sound like Celine Dion or non-auto-tuned Trololo guy for this song. I say go with your gut. Or whichever offends your eardrums more.

Ready?

To the tune of "My Heart Will Go On." (Sorry.)

[hem hem hem]

[stretching out on baby grand piano]

Every sight brings more screams,

I see you, I feeeear you.

That is how I know you...wreck on.

[squinting sexily]

Far from being mere chance,

That face is so squeeeemish!

You have come to show you...wreck on.

[rolling onto belly]

Guts? Scars? What-EV-er you are!

I can see that the dog did "GO" ON.

[duckface]

Once... more... you're DROPPED to the floor!

And you're back to the start 'cuz...

Your "art" will wreck on and on!

[dramatic swelling]

[plus the music gets louder]

Yooooou're HEEEERE!

You're DRINKing a BEER!

And I KNOW that this heart is... all wroo-oong:

[ripping off Snuggie to reveal white Elvis jumpsuit]

Some SAY... "all plastic? NO WAY!"

But the flotsam's a start and

Your cheesecakes are saaaadly all gone!

[Big finish involving sparklers, a bucket of glitter, & a live platypus]

[make that a stuffed platypus]

[and nix the sparklers]

[Ok, so basically it's a stuffed platypus dunked in glitter.]

Thanks to wreckporters Chris H., Emily S., Sarah R., Kristina S., Sarah S., Larissa F., Venieca, & Marisa L. for helping me realize that every pre-schooler who can successfully draw a heart is a frickin' genius.