To top that oh-so-sweet Valentine I wrote you yesterday, I've decided that today I shall serenade you. Yep. Full-on karaoke style, bebeh.
And since you can't actually hear me, it's your choice whether I sound like Celine Dion or non-auto-tuned Trololo guy for this song. I say go with your gut. Or whichever offends your eardrums more.
To the tune of "My Heart Will Go On." (Sorry.)
[hem hem hem]
[stretching out on baby grand piano]
Every sight brings more screams,
I see you, I feeeear you.
That is how I know you...wreck on.
Far from being mere chance,
That face is so squeeeemish!
You have come to show you...wreck on.
[rolling onto belly]
Guts? Scars? What-EV-er you are!
I can see that the dog did "GO" ON.
Once... more... you're DROPPED to the floor!
And you're back to the start 'cuz...
Your "art" will wreck on and on!
[plus the music gets louder]
You're DRINKing a BEER!
And I KNOW that this heart is... all wroo-oong:
[ripping off Snuggie to reveal white Elvis jumpsuit]
Some SAY... "all plastic? NO WAY!"
But the flotsam's a start and
Your cheesecakes are saaaadly all gone!
[Big finish involving sparklers, a bucket of glitter, & a live platypus]
[make that a stuffed platypus]
[and nix the sparklers]
[Ok, so basically it's a stuffed platypus dunked in glitter.]
Thanks to wreckporters Chris H., Emily S., Sarah R., Kristina S., Sarah S., Larissa F., Venieca, & Marisa L. for helping me realize that every pre-schooler who can successfully draw a heart is a frickin' genius.