My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Castle Came-A-Lot

Making a castle cake?

Then here's a tip (or seven):

Photo removed at the baker's request.  Please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot.

Always use protection.

As you can see, King Richard erected a castle here so safe it's absolutely guaranteed that nothing comes in OR out, no matter how hard the wind blows.



John: "Uh, Jen, it was King Arthur, not King Richard."

Me: [deadpan stare]

John: "Oh! Ahahahaa! Ok, I like where your head's at."

Me: "Tell it to King Richard, dude."


A seven turret salute to Sarah for finding a cake where the rubber meets the moat. 

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Reader Comments (146)

Hahahahaha! XDDD Thanks so much for posting - It's exam season and I really needed that good laugh!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFiona

Prophylactic cake
offers age-specific toys.
Fly our pennants high!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I was a little leery about opening your blog today. I'm afraid it might contain a Trojan virus -- or seven.

It also prompted me to google the phrase, "What is "spotted dick?" (I wondered if that was why King "Richard" felt he needed so much protection...) It IS an English dessert, but NOT cake.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I'm Rick Santorum and I DO NOT approve this message.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRick Santorum

Now, that's a HAPPY birthday cake. Very happy.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen BJB

Those flags look painful.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

You know, MY birthday is coming up. (next year)

*waggle waggle*

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

On second thought - let's not go to Came-a-lot. It is a sticky place.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

They even have Veins....

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLomky

For once I actually feel sorry for the wreckorator. Some clean-minded person worked very hard on that cake, making every brick, banner and rose perfect, only to end up with a cake everyone is snickering at.

P.S. King Richard! Good one!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

You know what's really sad/funny is today is my niece Aubrey's birthday. I won't be showing her this cake.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Surgical appliance pink, hmmm... O.K. but why are the veins black? Oh deary me. Now that's a very specialist cake indeed. I can see how proud the bakers must be.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDocbanger

Just SO wrong on so many levels...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWulfwyn

Oh, my! You should have given us a "not safe for work" warning on this one!!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Both your commentary AND this cake both have me laughing so hard this morning. I haven't laughed this hard in awhile a cake here. Thanks so much for my morning laugh. I needed it today.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

There was a King Richard, the Lionheart, in Robin hood. So yes, you are right, there was a King Richard. But if we are talking about King Richard where is Price John, Robin hood, Little john, or Friar tuck?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules ♂

Sadly, I had to do internet research to figure out what the point of King Richard was. For anyone else as thick as me, here's a hint -- what is a common (at least in the older generation) nickname for Richard?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Seriously? I think somebody put a lot of work into this and made a really great cake! Yes, if you're specifically looking for something non-G-rated, it's easy to see, but otherwise you'd just see this is a fun, well-designed castle cake!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Makes me wonder how old Aubrie is...and whether she likes her cake invaded by black mold...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

King Richard was warned that the flags sent as a gift from the Saxons might lessen the effectiviness of the castle's defensive properties, but they were soooo pretty...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Trojan flags seemed too easy.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

John (thoJ), doncha hate it when your spouse reveals couple conversations? It did help convey the message, though. You make an excellent "straight man" in this comic duo. :)

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

We, the Cakewrecks readers and the authors, are terrible people. Clearly we have dirty, dirty minds (King Richard needed no explanation for me - I was tracking right along with you Jen). Shame on us for finding fault with the painstaking creation of a sweet, clean minded baker who wanted to create something innocent and accidentally erected a veined, phallic love castle.

Or maybe the baker isn't innocent at all. Aubrie turned 21 during Spring Break and her drunken friends got her this cake. The baker nailed it! Anything is possible.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Pink, shiny, laced with veins...check. But I find the rosebuds quite suspect.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChuck Baudelaire

As we know, a man’s home is his castle, and when building his palace, there is nothing more a man likes to see than his turret slowly rising majestically into the air; he is swollen with pride – sometimes even big-headed — as he sees his tower proudly shining in the sunlight (or moonlight). Fully exposed for all to see, and often visible from miles away, these magnificent erections are a clear sign to the fair damsels in the kingdom that he is a strong and firm ruler and will go to any lengths to beat off the enemy and protect them. So, it is only fitting, Aubrie, whose name means “Elfin King,” that you celebrate your birthday with this magnificent specimen! (Note: enjoy the cake, but please eat carefully and slowly: turrets can be a choking hazard.)

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Suuuuuurrrreeee it's a castle-a very special castle ;)

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

It's only a model...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristi

Reminds me of the castle that used to come on the screen over the credits of The Friendly Giant (Canadian children's show from way back). This would have been great if you had posted a cow-jumping-over-the-moon cake just above it, no matter how wrecked.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I'm sure Aubrie and her little friends loved the cake and saw nothing wrong - I'm also sure that their mothers and fathers were sniggering for hours!

King Richard's castle is just down the road from us but it doesn't look anything like that...........

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarolineB

Price John: with bidet,
five hundred dollars. Without,
dig yourself a hole.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

OMG! I just lost it on this cake! How horribly funny is this? And I fact I KNOW it was completely unintentional makes it that much funnier!

And just to add to the Holy Grail Geekiness, I'll add...
"...It's only a model..."

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

King Richard erected a castle here so safe it's absolutely...impregnable!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBubbe

What a delightful castle - and look it's 'ribbed for her pleasure'.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaggieck

Not even a strong wind could blow that sucker down! Yummy!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

@ Jules... really?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

i don't think it's King Richard's castle.... .more like Prince Albert's with all those piercings....

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjust saying....

Sweet Mother of Abraham Lincoln...are you kidding me?!


E-wreck-shon Perfection...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

The undergraduate club associated with my department was designing t-shirts for a sale. The students decided that the design that the club president and I came up with was too clean (I guess Brady Bunch jokes are out). Taking inspiration from your blog, we designed one just left of clean. It could easily be taken innocently, if your mind isn't already in the gutter, but resembles the one in this post (along with the word "Exciting") otherwise. I am now conducting a Rorschach test of the department.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranon


That's it. I got nothing else.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Oh Mel, you made me blush.
Or maybe I was laughing so hard, my face turned red...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Well I nearly did the spit my drink all over the keyboard reaction.
I love this wreak and really apreciate all the gags

BUT WHY do people think Aubrie or Aubrey is a girls name????
its one of those really old fashioned MENS names ...i will never understand how Americans choose childrens names.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

His castle may be perfectly erected, but the wise princess knows to decline when invited to one of his balls.

@mel -- You're the master.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

"...I like where your head's at" Must...refrain....PG site....*snigger*

@Sharyn: now I've got that AC/DC song stuck in my head (that I am shamelessly earworming all of you with):

"I'm rather upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballrooms
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all..."

I swear you all have corrupted me. ; - )

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Is it built to scale? This is important.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I'm glad today's post was not a Princess Bride post or you'd have a "The pink coating helps it go down easier" Epcot on your hands! Or am I the only one who'd come up with that? Oh, my. Why does everything I type seem so wrong?!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Still laughing here; will print out and share at work!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

I think it's sooooo adorable how you ladies and gentlemen think it's just fine to make fun of our kingdom! And you actually think you have some sort of supreme right to tell OUR King who works for US, not those who live in OTHER kingdoms, what to do! Just adorable! But let me advise you, please don't lay an appendage of any kind in our kingdom. It might lead to some awkward situations, as our kingdom's motto is "Don't Lay That Trash in Camelot!" Funny how that fit, somehow.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEpcotLover

I'll take a piece from the center, please. Wouldn't want to have to take a bite out of the, um, "turrets."

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

@SuBee -- I'm sorry I made you blush -- I don't know what came over me...I've got to get a grip on myself....
@Sharyn -- are sooooo rule !

from yesterday:
@SuBee -- look what your brilliant post started much fun was that! thank you!
@ Sharyn -- thanks so much for playing yesterday...and into's still going on, I see. You are incredible!!
@Jen and john (thoj) -- once again, a profound thanks for letting us play in your playground...I love Cake Wrecks and my fellow Wreckies! I just wish there were some way we could all get together...what a hoot that would be!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Jen and John...I've decided that being at a party with you two should be on my bucket list! Though I don't comment often, I am a die-hard devotee. Thanks!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

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