John and I are visiting my parents this week, and each night after they go to bed we work online for a while downstairs. There are only two problems with this:
1) My dad collects old clocks, so we are surrounded by multiple sources of nonstop tic. tic. ticking. Which can be soothing, but when you're facing down a cruel bout of writer's block, it's surprisingly unhelpful. All I hear is, "Aren't. You. Done. Yet. Aren't. You. Done. Yet."
2) One of my parents' two dogs - an old, fat, yippy little thing named Princess - not only appears to be demon possessed, she also sounds and acts it. Meaning at 1:30 in the morning she'll shuffle over to the doorway of the living room where we're working, sit, and stare at us. And because she's mildly asthmatic, she'll be making the most ungodly snuffling gurgly wheezy noises while she's staring at us. Then two or three clocks will all start ominously chiming the hour, and Princess will be staring and wheezing at us there in the shadows, and I'm gamely doing my best to ignore it all and not run screaming for the car when I open the latest batch of submissions and see this:
She's watching you. Aaaalwaaaays waaaaatching.
I never imagined an egghead with a Tom Selleck 'stache could be so terrifying.
And then this:
"Ooh, I hated the Colonel, with his wee beany eyes!"
[+10 geek points if you can ID that quote.]
Hey, you know what this collection of scary bunny cakes needs?
Scary bunny clowns.
Excellent. Now my nightmares can be extra colorful.
I figured it couldn't get much worse, but just now Princess started gurgle-growling in her sleep (I don't dare look to see if her eyes are open), and I see the Easter Bunny's tiny snaggle-toothed minions have arrived to torment me:
Great. And just when I thought I'd successfully blocked out that scene from Young Sherlock Holmes, too.
"Can't sleep. Cupcakes will force-feed themselves to me."
Tina N., C. H., Katrina S., Kay S., & Amanda A., as a special thanks for today's nightmare fuel, I'd like to share a message from Princess, who just twitched and growled herself awake: