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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Apr052012

Pan-Wow

[adjusting headset mic]
[gelling hair]

Hi, it's john with Pan-Wow. This pan is shaped like a heart but it's also a pan so you can make cakes that are shaped like a heart.

A regular pan can only make cakes that look like a circle or a square, but the Pan-Wow can make a cake that looks like anything. Look at this apple.

You can't get an apple cake out of a round pan. Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's an apple.

 

Use it at home, in the bakery, in the car or the boat. Going to a Halloween party?

Pan-Wow.

 

Oh, no. Is that a ghost?

No. It's a Pan-Wow.

 

Going tailgating at the football game?

Pan-Wow.

 

When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:

There's three different colors.  You could use four colors.  Or five.  It doesn't matter.  Pan-Wow.

 

Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas:

Why not? It's a Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's Santa Claus.

 

What's that? You're graduating?

Now it's a hat. Amazing.

 

Got a steak? Put it in the Pan-Wow.

It's a heart and it's a steak. It's like a heart steak. But it could also be an apple/scary Halloween/ football/balloon steak. So many uses.

 

Is that the Easter Bunny?

Pan-Wow.

And if you comment within the next five minutes, we'll give you a Pan-Wow absolutely free.* You can't beat that. Order now.

 

Thanks to Lisa S., Erin M., Shelley B., Melissa G., Marie H., Cristina Z., Jyap, Sarah S., and Anna C. who don't mind the three easy payments of $29.95.

 

*Plus shipping and handling. Other charges may apply. Pan-Wow may not be made in Germany. Pan-Wow may not be metal. Pan-Wow may not be shaped like a heart. Pan-Wow may not enjoy being taunted.

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Reader Comments (122)

I bet I'm not the only one who looked at the graduation cookie and thought it suggested ... something else. Something you might see at the beach (and then wish you hadn't).

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

The graduation cake would have been perfect for my daughter's high school ceremony. Half way through, some moron decided to streak across the football field where it was held. The best part was he hopped the fence, only to be tackled by two very big cops. That picture brought it all back :-)

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMBaracuda

Yikes! The graduation one looks like balls wearing a mortar board....

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKati

Funny post, as always!

Aside from Happy Fun Ball, I'm reminded of another SNL skit called "Marble Columns" (pronounced MAH-bel CAH-lumns). I can totally hear Scarlett Johansson's deadpan delivery as a Jersey girl modeling for her dad's marble column store (substitute "Pan Wow" with "Like this one. Or that one."); I'm cracking up just thinking about it!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

That apple is actually quite clever... for anyone who doesn't mind gummy worms in theirs. If only the decorator had taken a knife and invested a little time in shaping a heart more like an apple. It's not that difficult after all.

Sigh, I guess that's the result of grocery store decorators being expected to do umpteen jobs, bake cakes, ice them, think of novel approaches, clean the area, PLUS between all this they have to constantly work the counter, all for the pay of one job.

You get what you pay for folks, you get what you pay for...

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

Speaking of butt cakes...

Santa spies with his brown eye...

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Santa's drowning in mini-marshmallows. Quick! Get the hot chocolate!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

Ok, if it's not an actual heart, WHY is that "apple" bleeding from the worm hole?!? Yikes!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Many moons ago, my sister and I did a parody of Billy Mays (in his OxyClean days) where I was a superhero called OxyMoron WHO TALKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!!!!! (complete with gratuitous exclamation points) This post brought it all back.

Although, is it horrible of me to think the apple one is kinda cute?

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

Really, the ghost cookie-cake is pretty cute.

But I did NOT need to know that Santa has creamy white boobies. Ho-ho-huh?

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChuck Baudelaire

Wow....just wow....LOL

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMommy of 2

I need to get me a pan WOW. This must be the space saving tin of the future. Where can i purchase such a wonderful product? lol

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMrs Baker's Cakes UK

Pan...wow.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarmen

Wow! I have to have this pan. I think the pan wow is even cooler than the sham wow.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammy rawlings

Great post, and I must say you should add SuBee's comment to your Pan-Wow ad. Nothing like a real customer testimonial! ;-)

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball! Thanks for bringing back that awesome SNL memory for me!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlbolea

This is almost as good as Log! It rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs. The Pan Wow can't do that, but I sure will love making heart steaks and helmet cakes!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterandrea

PAN WOW rocks. I must have one. Please, please pick me.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRosi

I actually think whoever put the steaks in the heart-shaped container is pretty resourceful... *runs and hides*

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

As steak container....genius idea !!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNadean B

The wrecks I could make with that Pan-Wow!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercatsimmie

I love this entire post.

"Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff."

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChellsBells

Too funny! And the comments are funny too!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAana

That graduation picture gives a whole new meaning to the word "butthead"!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMitali

For those wondering about the heart steaks: Yes, they do exist. Publix (which is a southern supermarket...think Wegman's in the South) has them at Valentine's Day. I nearly fell over laughing when I saw them in the Valentine's day display at the front of the store (after seeing them on CakeWrecks first...where else?) when I ran in to grab some treats for my kids. I have to assume the hot dogs in the display pictured were to keep kids happy so that Mom & Dad can enjoy their surf and turf? You can also check out Jen's v-day posts for more on the meat heart.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

I must be all memed out today... When you asked if that was the Easter Bunny, my immediate thought was "Nope, Chuck Testa!"

Also, totally expected a butt reference.

Loved the infomercial feel of the post, though!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterApple

I'm thinking you could make some good plumbers' crack cakes with it too.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChazz

So funny! And one commenters reference to the schticky....perfect!!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaughing my panwow off

I love cake! Love love love cake!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I liked the ghost cake, too, but that graduation cake looks like a butt. The "d" in Graduate is right where the crack should be, too. Just sayin'.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

John, you have inspired me to make my own pan wow creation! Yes, you inspired it! -- A woman from behind with an adorable saying like "Hot Buns" or "Honk if yer Horny"! Hummm, maybe I'll do the front side also, like those awesome bikini cakes you share (especially the one with the nipples, you know, for the two year old's birthday)! That AMAZING heart shape provides SO many options!! Ooohhh! Maybe I'll make the cake out of Steak!!! YOU are a genius!!!!!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBlowsley

"And if you order in the next five minutes, we'll throw in ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE, this set of Ginsu knives! They chop, they bop, they slice, they dice! Watch what it does to this tin can, and now watch what it does to this tomato!"

PanWow AND Ginsu knives? How could I go wrong?

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGena

I just love you guys!!!!!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

The ghost one isn't too bad, looks like a spirit rising from the grave (the brown part is the tombstone).

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Funniest in awhile.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

I love a multiple use cake pan! That's awesome!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

This heart PAN WOW is so similar to my butterfly PAN WOW that I could swear you were spying on me, Jon. My butterfly PAN WOW has been used countless times for any occasion under the sun. And I always go WOW when I find another use for my PAN WOW ;-) although I have to pass at making butterfly steaks...

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlet them eat cake

haiku joy, you are a genius. I was trying to find a not raunchy way to describe what is wrong with the Pan Wow bunny cake, but you nailed it. The bunny appears to be almost but not quite completely born. Very Classy.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersiouxzr

you can send me a pan-wow i love to make cake and cookies.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjust eat it!!

You should have a fan contest-everyone could submit a picture of the cake they created in their Pan Wow. The prize could be fame and adoration.
Almost every contestant would have to buy a Pan Wow and , since fame and adoration are free, you'd make a fortune.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEpcotLover

Is it a football player? Is it a rabbit? No. It's Mr. Bubble. Makes you so clean, even your own mother won't recognize you.

Or the general public if you change the angle and go with non-traditional heart colors -- oh please!

This made me laugh so hard, I disturbed the person in the cube next to me.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

@Mel- "contents not included!" You made me snort. Very unladylike, but I'll bet there's a pan for that.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

"Shut up and take my money."

Katherine says: "I don't know about the rest of you, but that ghost cookie cake is C-U-T-E." My fiancee says I'm cute -- does that count?

#1 Worm in apple: bad sign. Dark stuff oozing from hole: orders-of-magnitude-worse sign.

#8 The person who put this display together is a fan of Captain Beefheart. [chirp]

Order NOW! Offer is void except where prohibited. May not be combined with any other offer for anything, anywhere. Taxandlicenseextra--yourmileagemayvary.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Between that Apple cake and the "Steak" cake, I think that it could be named "Porn-Wow", if you see what I mean...

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScadsobees

All hail Pan-Wow!!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Dear John,

I'll admit, your "Pan-Wow!" sounds like an amazing product. Being able to make ghosts, steaks, and Father Christmas all from one pan would be really great. But before I shell out any dough, I need to know my pan can do everything. For example, my Uncle Seymour is having a colonoscopy party next month, and I offered to make the cake. I was hoping to make a full-scale model of him in the middle of the procedure so we can all get a good laugh. Do you think it would be at all possible to use the Pan-Wow to make a couple of butt cheeks? It's sort of hard to imagine giving up my Grandma's Butt pan...but it sure would save some space in my cabinets if the Pan-Wow could do that, too.

Also, my sister-in-law is preggers (squee!). With twins (squee! squee!). For her shower, we thought we'd skip the whole vaginal-delivery cake, mostly because she probably will have to have a c-section anyway, but also it's hard to show two babies coming out of one cake. Anyway, she's insisting she's going to breastfeed both of them, so we figured she might appreciate a cake shaped like a nice pair of knockers with a baby latched onto each one. I just can't figure out how the Pan-Wow could possibly pull that off, though. But if you can convince me there's a way, then consider your product sold. I shall eagerly await your reply.

Sincerely,
Katie L.

P.S. If I buy one, will you throw in a second one at half price? I'm thinking Pan-Wow might make a good gift for a friend.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

What's wrong with the bunny one is it's upside down.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNell

@ mistiqueallie - I took the picture of the bunny cake, and I agree kinda. It was displayed upside down, so that is part of the reason I took the picture, the other part of the reason is because I remembered cake wrecks making fun of different holidays where they reused the heart shaped pan.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

@SuBee: sorry I made you snort, but you must be psychic -- next month Pan-Wow will release the Pan-Wow Snort. The ad says "Your guests will think it's cake...but it's not...it's Snort!"

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Great post...butt, that graduation hat sitting on a bum deserved its own special cake wreckognition.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAli

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