My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Beby "Love"

Our official Wrecky Minion/Helper, Julianne, is due to have a little wreckie literally at any moment. In fact, Julianne, if you're reading this, PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAAAAY OUT!!


John and I are of course being as supportive as we possibly can, in the sense that Julianne doesn't have to file your submissions while she's actually in labor. ("You're welcome, lady!") She also seems to appreciate the plastic sheeting we have draped over all the furniture when she visits, and our constant offers of moist towelettes and pickles.

So today's post is for you, Julianne. Because we care. But know very little about babies. Or baby showers. Or what, exactly, you're supposed to write on a baby shower cake.

Oh, well, that wasn't so hard!

But tell me: do these things always require balls of steel? And brass? Brass and steel balls, I mean? You know, those balls there. The balls on the cake. (Why does everyone keep flinching when I talk about cake balls?)

And speaking of cake blue balls:

I just realized why they're called cake "pops."

Booya! Who's your daddy?!



Er. Maybe we should go back to shower cakes.

Or "SKRWER" cakes.

Just don't say it out loud. There are "bebys" here.


But really, do we NEED all these properly spelled "words" and "complete" "sentences?" OF COURSE NOT. Let's just get right to the heart of the matter:

Less awesome.



(I mean, seems to me they're always crying.)


This is a job for... The A Team.


Of course, sometimes mere words are inadequate.

Sometimes you need a Playboy bikini top, sunburned cleavage, a protruding foot, and a snapshot from The Ring to convey your true feelings:

Ah, yeah. Can you feel it?!

Julianne? Julianne? Hey, where'd you go?


Thanks to Sarah H., Anony M., Kim G., Kelly L., Caitlin P., Monika L., & Anony M., who are still trying to figure how many babies are supposed to be in that belly.

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Reader Comments (76)

Now I have to go watch Bill Cosby "Himself."

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

I am now grossed out and rethinking the ice cream I was about to eat after seeing those 'spermy cake pops'.......eeewwww, it's disturbing just typing it out. Yick!!! x-P

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

enjoyed the Bill Cosby reference

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarla T

1. The only thing remotely interesting about that cake is the fact that it has balls on it. The yellow collor is awful. lol and it pretty much states the obvious.
2. Someone already said what I was going to say. We have baby carrot Jocky's riding cake pops now. And someone has pointed out the fact that it looks like sperm on those pop cakes. ick. So would you calll it a ball or an egg then?
3' Having Dyslexia I think I just figured out what that cake said.
4. You know the decorator was probably having a conversation with her mother on the phone while she was writng on this one. Her mother told her she was alway so gabby and she some how managed to write out the word babby.
5.I can't look at that cake for to long it will provoke a seizure.
6. The mother was having octuplets and the babies came before the party was to be held. While the babies were being delivered the decorator calls gramma who is in charch of the shower and she is in the delivery room. The decorator asks so what do you want on this cake? Just as he asks, the first baby arrives and it is a girl. Gramma screems IT"S Girl leaving out the A in her excitment. The decorator says no problem and hangs up. Okayy it could happen.
7.When you leave out the arms head and neck, the cleavage looks like a butt, then add the play boy bunny bra and it looks like crochless undies. lol that was the first thing I saw when I was scrolling. Untill of course I saw the rest of the the picture. Other wise, it is not that bad a cake really. I would not have one at my shower but I think if it is well planned and the mother to be wants that, then well what ever floats her boat. lol

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

Nekkid baby lollipop jockeys!

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

wait, wait, ont the cake pops, they forgot the carrots! everyone know a baby can't ride without a carrot!

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

Hope Julianne and little one are doing well!!

Finally, something as flippin’ creepy as Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockeys: Naked Mohawk Baby Cake Balls.
Are those Sperm???? Auuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Um, the psycadelic CCC (patooie)? Was that to simulate the euphoria of the drugs kicking in??

@zoomom I did try but that’s way above my skill level. I bow in humble acknowledgement of all these AWESOME songs today. LOL

@Craig- I told you to get out and get fresh air!! (but that was really funny)

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I think they were trying to say "shawr" as in "beby shawr". sheesh. don't you peeple no aneethin?

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

As a fellow WM cake decorator, I can confirm that someone is still trying to get rid of the gold and silver bubblegum they sent us for Christmas 2 years ago. :S

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMegan D

I just want my baby shower cake to say "HOW IS BABBY FORMED".

May 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

I think cake #1 has got to be a reference to the hilarious episode of The Office when Dwight and Jim throw a birthday party for Kelly. They hang up awful brown and grey balloons (like the ones on the cake) and they make a really boring sign that says "IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY." If they'd ordered a baby shower cake, it would have looked a lot like #1.

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCari

I know it says "it's Girl" ... so why did "it's log, it's log!" Just start running in my head?

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEm Johnston

Yikes.. lol. Still glad I am not going to be the one who gets a cake like those. Wreckerators are wrecking my dreams with their evil creations. But who will save those poor carrot jockey babies riding sperm cake balls? Poor lil plastic babies don't deserve that.

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

"The Office" fans would agree-The first one looks like something Dwight would order!

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrkm

Happy baby. Well, it's about time someone dedicated a cake to a yoga pose!

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

All I could think when I saw the CCC (patooie!) was:
Cake Wrecks - they've gone the plaid!

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

I keep reading the "Beby Shawer" cake like Borat.

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

#5 reminds me of something worn by Steve Martin in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.
I still can't properly focus my eyes.

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

That 3rd one looks like it's for a German baby shower. Apparently they have having a baby squirrel..

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Whoa! What was I doing when I wrote that? ...they ARE having... Yeesh!

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

How on earth can someone misspell BABY but spell AWESOME right?? Makes no sense.

And the plaid CCC gave me a headache. I think I need to go lie down.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

Am I the only one who thinks the last cake looks like it should be Snooki's shower cake?

May 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCafcaf

Am I the only one who keeps getting hypnotized by the happy baby cakes? Like its seizure inducing! Q

May 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjenzizcool

While it was grammatically incorrect, here in the English Midlands 'Babby' is a real word. Might the client have accidentally hired a Brummie baker? 'This Babby shower is Bostin!'

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSapphy

That first cake- the one with the silver and brass balls... arent those benoit balls?!!!! Maybe they're really a present for Mom for "after" she has the baby! LOL!!!!!

June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

Omgoodness!!'m almost speachless! LOL....why, oh why?? As I giggle, chuckle, and snort alittle I want to say thank you to all of you with those awesomely funny comments! Many made my eyeliner run and I had to make a wee wee break ...ya know, post baby bladder......more than once! My fav is "Booya! Who's your daddy?!" Thanks everyone! :-D

June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

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