My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sometimes You Really Have To Go-Go

(Note: In case your Wham's a little rusty, I've embedded the music video at the bottom of today's post.)

(Also, "Rusty Wham" is the name of my Peter Gabriel cover band.)


You caught me off guard right from the start

You got me all fired up with your bean pop tarts

My colon's not been the same

Goes a-Bang-Bang-Bang 'til I start to strain


But something's wrong here

Something ain't right

My roommate told me what you did last night

Left a "present" in my bed


 I was sleepin',  but the smell could've raised the dead!

Wake me up before you go-go

'Cuz poopin' in a girl's bed's a no-no

Wake me up before you go-go

I don't want to be here when you need two-ply

Wake me up before you go-go

I think this date has just reached a new low

Wake me up before you go-go

Better yet, take a hike

 I really do not liiiiike 

(yeah, yeah!)


You left your skid marks on my duvet

 And if they don't wash out then you're gonna pay

What the heck, man, have you no shame? 


The term "crappy date"'ll never be the same.

'Cuz you're so crazy, I'm a fool 

Shoulda known better when you peed the pool

Get out, baby, this ain't right

 'Scuse my British, but you're so full of shite!


Wake me up before you go-go

I think this date has just reached a new low

Wake me up before you go-go

Better yet, take a hike

I really do not liiiiike!



(No, no, no!)

Thanks to Jennifer G., Erin S., Kathy B., R.W., Kylie N., Becki N., Marisa F.,  Jamie G., Colleen C., Leigh B., Chelsea H., & Lisa R., for helping me get that out of my system.



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Reader Comments (95)

Wow! I haven't heard that tune in years! That was one of their lesser-known hit, right along with "Careless Sphincter".

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

That was beautiful! I sang along with the whole post! The skid marks on the duvet line was particularly inspired!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarla

"You left your skid marks on my duvet"
Oh my brain!
Oh my eyes!
What were these decorators thinking?
Your WHAM song was great. It's one of those times when what you say is exactly what we see. But what was their intention? Surely not poo? I...can't......comprehend. Brain...explo d i ................

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

Ah, the 80's. I'm still at a loss over how to explain it to my daughter. "Yes dear, we thought the yellow fingerless gloves were cool. No dear, we had NO IDEA George Michaels was gay."

And also...poo. Gross.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNewb

We would have also accepted "scatman" as a viable song choice.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules ♂

Glass of diet pepsi: $ .25
Wad of paper towels: $ .15
Replacement cost of tablet keyboard, spit upon during today's Cake Wrecks post: $150.00
The line "You left your skid marks on my duvet.": Priceless

That was perfect, made more so by the tabby sitting next to me letting out a seemingly endess stream of lethal stealth farts to provide "atmosphere."

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

eww! I just read that post while eating breakfast!

what's with the poo piles wearing ladies' hats??

and that lemon glaze took me off guard....

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjojo

Ohhh my goodness!! Thank you for reducing me to helpless fits of restrained "vibro-laughter" right before starting the work day!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Well, that was the crappiest post on CW. ;)

Good thing I finished my drink before I read this post today otherwise I'd be getting a new keyboard.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Ooohhh. Those shorts in the video made the whole post worthwhile. Will be bookmarked. ;-)

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaaike

Poopy Bonnet wearing cupcakes? Really?
Poop wearing a bonnet.
Uh....I am going to have to rethink this whole day......

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteri heart salt

*Removes sunglasses* That is one big pile of chocolate.

You, uh, you are going to wash your hands before, uh, before you eat anything...?

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIan Malcolm

Woody appears to be pole dancing on a poop-covered stage. I can just see the "Where are they now? Disney Pixar Edition" episode now....

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

In that Cars one, those don't look like BUTTES at all....bwahahahahahahaa ha ha.
OK, I'm ok now.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLillyB

Always loved that song. You've ruined it for me. :p But OMG the SHORTS.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterheather

Wham! Bam, no thank you, ma'am. Hehe.

Lost it at 'Scuse my British, but you're so full of shite!'.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEli & Ember's Mom

Page all the Michigan fans/Ohio State

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlyn

The Bob cake made me shudder. Why, WHY did they make it shiny? Ew.

That video was almost as scary as the cakes. I'm kind of glad my mother sheltered me from the worst (best?) of 80's fashion, even though I desperately wanted to be "cool".

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

How can you not love poo wearing hats?! And the video - the shorts! the hair! the black lights! Made my day.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy W

Thanks for the video. Pure 80's awesome.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Another classic from the 80's...
"Everything's better... with Poo Bonnet on it!"

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

That "40th is a . . ." one has me boggled - "40th is a catten?" "40th is a callen" What does it mean? WHAT??? Also, I do not recommend making it larger in order to try to read the inscription, because then the poo piles look less like poo or more like intestines, which is NOT an improvement. *shakes head*

Also, the one with Woody and his explosive diarrhea is going to give me nightmares - no kindly, old-fashioned kid's toy should have to go through something like that, much less have it exhibited on cake!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

I wonder if the second cake was deliberate. The hard hat, the dozer shoving the piles around, perhaps Lucas is a professional poo-wrangler just doing his job so that the rest of us can, uh, nevermind....

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

This really could have been presented without comment. And perhaps should have been.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Never thought I"d see chocolate that looked unappetizing... DX

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Totally awesome pooptacular post today !!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmbeedee

Private parts yesterday, feces today. Ick. I think I'll stay away until Sunday Sweets.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Awwww, what a load of crap the cakes are on today's post!
Great lyrics, and love the puns!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

@ Amanda - I totally have to find a use for "vibro-laughter" in conversation today! Awesome word!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

Woody appears to have had a terrible accident. It's OK, though, he seems happy about it.

Also, I think that final cake was made without the final piece of topping. I think that was added by someone expressing their views on the rest of the cake. *Literally* expressing and literally on it.


June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

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(The Defe-Caker is not for use with cream cheese icing. Cheese products may cause blockages in The Defe-Caker.)

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

What's that on #6 (besides #2)? "40th is a catten"?
Poor Woody -- talk about a nasty accident.
And I'm glad my school's colors are not those of OSU! Really -- a poo volcano? poocano?

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBGooby

Superb - I take my hat off to you today!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

That was hilarious, and I now have that song stuck in my head. For the love of chocolate, please tell me why someone would make piles of poo wear hats?

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJan

best cake wrecks post everrrrrrrrrrrrr! (the photos = eww why, people? whyy?, the link to the tune = thoughtful, the new lyrics = OMGAWWDhysterical!) thank you for making me laughing out loud LOUDLY while singing along! (loveeee the comments too!!) SEEE... best cake wrecks post everrrrrrr!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrobyn

Can someone explain the inscription on the 6th one? "40th is a catten" means nothing to me...nor does even just the word "catten." I also have no idea what the cake is supposed to be.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

For most of these cakes, you could see what they were going for, even if the results were unfortunate, but what's the deal with the Toy Story cake? I mean, what was the stream of diarrhoea supposed to be?

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWill

I really don't like OSU either!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBP

Don't wanna be there when you need two ply. Literally laughing out loud!!!!!!!!!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMoonchild

ahahaha this is hilarious! I played the video while reading and it was perfect! Just what I needed; thanks a million!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Katelyn... I wish we could say it was for OHIO state, unfortunately it is the wrong colors. It is a Buckeye, the mascot of OREGON state. How embarrassing, both the cake and to think a buckeye is the best mascot they could come up with. Well, it is better than a banana slug, for UC Santa Cruz. Although a slug makes a more attractive cake I guess...
Ewww, slug or poo? I'll pass on dessert.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I thought that it looked a bit like Woody was sitting on the toilet. Which would make sense, with the diarrhea all over the cake. But still. Not appealing.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

this was great! the video! can't believe we ever thought those clothes were cool! I love your site, even when I have to say "eeeww!"

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

"Careless Sphincter..." HA! Good one.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

ewe! What do people say when they order a cake and get this??? I cannot believe.......excuse me, I have to go........."flush"

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentershannon olson


Parody perfection, Jen! Thank goodness I did not have Sharyn's "atmosphere". Ha!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

The only thing worse than these cakes is remembering a time when it was fashionable for men to wear shorter shorts than women. **Shudder**

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

@Lisa -- I'm quite sure it's Ohio State that is the land of the Buckeye. Or were you saying that?

In an unrelated matter, the heart-shaped pan is the Amazon Gold Box deal for the next 2 hours. Imagine the new wreckerators out there!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbuckeye mouse

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought Woody was poledancing.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRelieved

I'm going to rethink using the phrase "that cake looks like cr*p"

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

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