My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sometimes You Really Have To Go-Go

(Note: In case your Wham's a little rusty, I've embedded the music video at the bottom of today's post.)

(Also, "Rusty Wham" is the name of my Peter Gabriel cover band.)


You caught me off guard right from the start

You got me all fired up with your bean pop tarts

My colon's not been the same

Goes a-Bang-Bang-Bang 'til I start to strain


But something's wrong here

Something ain't right

My roommate told me what you did last night

Left a "present" in my bed


 I was sleepin',  but the smell could've raised the dead!

Wake me up before you go-go

'Cuz poopin' in a girl's bed's a no-no

Wake me up before you go-go

I don't want to be here when you need two-ply

Wake me up before you go-go

I think this date has just reached a new low

Wake me up before you go-go

Better yet, take a hike

 I really do not liiiiike 

(yeah, yeah!)


You left your skid marks on my duvet

 And if they don't wash out then you're gonna pay

What the heck, man, have you no shame? 


The term "crappy date"'ll never be the same.

'Cuz you're so crazy, I'm a fool 

Shoulda known better when you peed the pool

Get out, baby, this ain't right

 'Scuse my British, but you're so full of shite!


Wake me up before you go-go

I think this date has just reached a new low

Wake me up before you go-go

Better yet, take a hike

I really do not liiiiike!



(No, no, no!)

Thanks to Jennifer G., Erin S., Kathy B., R.W., Kylie N., Becki N., Marisa F.,  Jamie G., Colleen C., Leigh B., Chelsea H., & Lisa R., for helping me get that out of my system.



« A Publix Service Announcement | Main | Meanwhile, at the Unintentionally Erotic Bakery... »

Reader Comments (95)

This just made me realize that at 15 I had NO gay-dar whatsoever......

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerry

And they say nice girls don't like toilet humor..........Mahahahahahahahaha!

To Sharyn, The idea of your cat sitting next to you and releasing stealth farts while you read this blog cracked me up! Me thinks your funny little stinker has been eating too many cake wrecks. ;)

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

OK, this was the one morning that I decided to look at Cake Wrecks while I was eating breakfast. "You left your skid marks on my duvet" had me howling! But I barely made it through the photos and had to stop so I could finish eating.

So then I called up this site again on my phone while I was at the College World Series, waiting for the Kent State-South Carolina game to begin this morning. It's a good thing that at that time, @zoomom had not posted her comment about the Defe-Caker. Because it was bad enough that all these baseball fans were wondering what I was giggling about as I read through the comments. The Defe-Caker had me snorting! They probably would have ejected me from the stands.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Love it!
Has me wanting one of those poo-with-a-hat cupcakes to go with my poopaccino.(google it - Dave Barry - hilarious!)

:) vibro-laughter indeed!!!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrunchifrog

This was the BEST. POST. EVAH!!!!! Love me some Wham, despite the absolute ridiculousness of that video! (P.S. I think that 6th cake is _trying_ to say "40 is a-callin' ")

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlysafulb

So, for kicks and giggles, I figured listening to the video and reading through the post would be a awesome. Great rhythm, Jen! The glow-in-the-dark section that came on partway through the video was pure 80s insanity. That certainly explains quite a bit about the decade. :)

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

In the "40th is a catten" cake is that knight defending a refinery? A wastewater treatment plant?

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOld Marshmallow

Poor Woody..... :(

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdarkshines


June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJinx

We need to tell these bakers that chocolate frosting should NEVER be piped through a circle tip. Always use a star or leaf tip to avoid "accidents"

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLady C

Howdy, doody!
Outstanding post instant've done your doody to make us laugh...uncontrolably... Please put this in the next book...please!! work!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

OH! I think lysafulb may be right about the 6th cake. "40th is a-callin'" makes more sense than catten. :)

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

I can't tell you how glad I wasn't reading this post over breakfast! D:

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterleorising

My 4 year old looks at the screen and says "lots of poop on that cake." If she can see it...

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnita

This is one of my top five favorite Cakewrecks posts. You make beautiful music...wrecky.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Girl from New York

The cakes were uniformly unfortunate, but the video! That's what had me shrieking with laughter. George Michael looked like a rather pretty version of Richard Simmons in those teeny tiny shorts. Oh, and Buckeyes absolutely come from Ohio State. Oregon State U is the home of the Beavers.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRPainter

Theardare is having to rethink his entire approach to wreck doubters. Poor kitty, he was so focused on Manilow that he totally forgot about Wham! But as Sharyn can attest, cats have a wide variety of tortures in their arsenal.

#2 Why Shiny?!?! I don't care if that's how you see your job. Did Lucas need to know that? Did any of us?

#5 In a (thankfully) deleted scene from 'Toy Story', Woody and Buzz are hanging out on the bank of a famous creek. Note the absence of paddles.

#6 That awful moment when you realize no one else has the faintest idea what you were thinking. "40th is a callin"? The 40th what? The 40th regiment of Fighting Fencers, making the modern metropolis safe against attack by centaurs. The plan: face them at the toxic waste dump and cause them to laugh until too weak to charge. NOW it makes sense. (help)

#7 Why are there two of these? Did the wreckorator seriously think, "That looks so appetizing, I think I'll make another one just like it."

#8 "These cupcakes need something to keep them from looking like poo piles. I know -- hat picks!"

#12 Just a hunch: This was commissioned by / made by someone who doesn't like OSU. It's a radical theory, I know, but I'm standing by it. (Cue the OSU EPCOT in 3...2...1)

After those, I need something pleasant to look at. (glances at video link) Nope, that ain't it. Is George really wearing Depends? That is just one of the things about Wham! I have no interest in knowing.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

An Ohio State Buckeye? If I squint. An Oregon State Beaver? No way, and that was yesterday's theme. An Oklahoma State Cowboy cake. PLOP, plop ("Ah, yes" in Catten, the expressive language of cattle.)

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarkM

Was eating Vegemite toast and the skid marks on the duvet hit a bit too close to home. I've finished breakfast now :(

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSmoodge

Somebody already beat me to poocano. Well played!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

@Ian Malcolm at least one person got it! (points to self) though you could have said "must go faster"

@zoomom for the win! that was vile and disgusting. :D

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I've always loved that song. :) And I'm glad I already ate before looking at this...

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnise

Wow. One, that has got to be the most pathetic buckeyes I've ever seen attempted (I can't bring myself to say 'created.') Two, I have to agree with an earlier poster- it takes "talent" to make chocolate look unappetizing. There's a whole pile of "talent" of that caliber on display here.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

Ahhhhhhhh evil earworm!!! I also can't stop staring at the cupcakes with hats. Maybe they are evil too?

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKiwi

Oh man I think I am going to die. Wham and those cakes..just pushed me over the edge into laughter insanity lol. My neighbors are probably calling the men in white coats now so I better lock the door and hide. Loved this post!

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Is that OSU one Oklahoma State University by any chance? Oklahoma represent!

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKC

Ahhhhh,......... the 80s - when we thought George Michael was straight and Michael Jackson was black.

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda Young

The last one (OSU) is 100% Ohio State University. I should know. I go there. Although it was exciting to see something that relates to me on Cake Wrecks, I think I could have passed on seeing a mangled buckeye. I think it looks more like a giant buckeye candy rather than a cake. If it is a cake, the bakers were ridiculous to think that pouring melted chocolate over a cake a and squeezing a pile of peanut butter frosting on it... bad decisions. It's what cake wrecks was built upon.

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrad

Poo cake! I love the Bob the builder pic, it looks like fresh juicy poo! LMAO

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDesirée

I would so let you go go in my bed if you promised to wear the shorts and yellow fingerless gloves.

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I LOVE this blog! I couldn't stop laughing at this post in particular. The dog really liked it too. Ha ha!

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Well, better late than impacted... but I just wanted to say I had nothing to do with any of these cakes.

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFearless Colon

Oregon State U's mascot is a beaver.

That could possibly be a beaver mound, but it really looks like a turd volcano.

A turdcano?

June 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJames

Priceless. I think my favorite cakewreck commentary EVER.

June 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

buckeye mouse is correct, as it IS a buckeye. But, it is also the colors for Oregon State. So, the cake could be for Ohio, with the correct mascot, or for Oregon with the correct colors and is a pile of poo!
My typing got ahead of my brain in the other post! I live in Oregon too!

June 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Poop with hats!? Poop with HATS?? POOP WITH HATS!!!!??? LOL. I think I'm going to have to make some Poop With Hats jewelry or something to commemorate this. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen!

June 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJet

I don't get the "Cars" cake. Are they supposed to be mesas? They look more like a mess-ahh!!

June 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPiper

Wow, these are gross! I'm glad you linked to the song; I sang along with the post! :D

June 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAri

While the pooh cakes were funny, what I found truly laughable were the women in the front row of the Wham concert on the video clip...they really had NO IDEA that George Michael wanted nothing to do with them. Sad.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterthis guy

Oh Em Gee.

I want to sing this song, so bad. (I mean, so well. Whatever.)


I know where I can find a karaoke track of this.

So, so tempted.

(And I mean that as the utmost compliment. This is a brilliant parody.)

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrud

That last one looks unsettlingly like cat puke... Erupting out of a volcano?

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor Sparks

I'm pretty sure the OSU one was supposed to look like a Buckeye candy rather than a real buckeye, but it's still pretty scary.

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMagda

Oh my gosh I have so much to say . . . the short-shorts, the blinding white teeth, the girls fawning at the so so obviously gay man . . . . I can't even remember what this had to do with a cake . . . what were we talking about again . . . does it matter?

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYvonne G

Thank you for posting my son's "crappy" Woody cake! He was in love with toy story and we were all shocked at the cake we received! After some ANALyzing, we realized that his diarrea was supposed to be a lasso. Runny icing? Either way, we can laugh about it now and Dylan got a real professional cake for his birthday this year!

July 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKylie

Just like this song, the cakes don't make any sense either.

I don't remember this video but GM had some scary teeth!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecca L

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>