My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Birch, Please.



John: What? [seeing cake] What IS that?

Me: [laughing]

John: Is it a cow? Buried face down?

Me: [still laughing]

John: Wait, no, I think it's a tree. A birch tree.

Me: [shrill cackling punctuated by honking, bugle-like snorts]

John: Is there a two-liter in that thing? Seriously, look; I think there's a soda bottle in there! Jen?

Me: [wiping eyes] Oh, so you're saying it's all bark and no bite?

John: Ug, that's terrible. We need some good puns.

Me: Hey, if you don't like my puns, you can make like a tree, and GET OUT OF HERE.

John: That's it. No more Back to the Future marathons for you.

Me: Awww. You are my density, baby.


Thanks to Amanda C. for proving there's nothing shady at all about a tree stump with two limbs.

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Reader Comments (81)

Seriously looks like a grade 3 paper mâché project!

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

My first thought was,
Cow Hide Frosting And
Under Neat That
A Soda Bottle.

@ Mel,
You are brilliant!

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Did anyone else notice the spots that look like a rabbit (on the right) and a dog (upper left)? I'd love to know what kind of event warrents a cake like this. Something at the Izaak Walton League? (but then why the initials in the heart?)

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Apparently this cake is appealing to 4 year olds, my son said he wants a cake like that for his next birthday because he wants to taste what it's like inside.

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

ROTFLMAO! Okay, time to stop lurking! Sharyn, you're brilliant and I have to ask, do these little ditties just pop fully formed into your head? But today Mel is giving you serious competition.
I too saw the upside-down cow first and the tree second. Wonder what that says about our psyches?

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamela V.

can't. unsee. the. flailing. cow.

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

Gack! Who baked this utterly bugly ENGAGEMENT/WEDDING CAKE? The initials carved in "the bark" say it all.

To it! There's nothing a little Monty Python can't fix! LOL!

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

My husband asked if it was a cow drowning in Jell-O - I think John (husband of Jen) might be on the right track here.

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

J&J, Sharyn, Zoomom, Andrea, Mel . . . I'm hanging out with you guys at the mall.

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Lovely tree you have there.

And that conversation between you and John, that is the kind of relationship I hope to have someday. Thank you.

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLupis Reapyr

three limbs. just sayin'.

Sharyn, noooooooooo, my favorite Python song?? (actually, I laughed until I nearly wet myself and sang both the lead and chorus)

mel, Andrea and zoomom pushed me over the edge!

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I'm truly grateful to everyone for removing this immediate question from my brain: "Why does this dead tree have a baby bottle in its armpit?" It has now been replaced by "Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the baked/fake/flaking dead tree ...please, so we can't see". Another vote for a Bourbon bottle under the cannned frosting ....

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

For some reason every time I look at this picture "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" pops into my head. I think it's the jaunty holiday colors of the background scarf and the run-overedness of the "cow", er excuse me, "tree".
At any rate, now Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer is stuck in your head. You. Are. Wellll-cooome!

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoemama

OK, first I had to recover from the photo. Then it was Jen's line: "Honking, bugle-like snorts." You really should be on video!

It looks like a cow diving into a 3-liter pool. But cows usually have spots, not stripes.

It also looks like what happens to trees in this area when the tree-trimming service for the power company gets done with them. Except they don't hang little lanterns on them.

And what is the black pedestal on the bottom? And the grass around each layer?

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I'm glad I'm not the only one to be reminded of Dead Hand...

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

I, for one, am happy that everyone is using the word "cow" in the comments. Just lovely.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I am strangely inspired to go watch Twister... :)

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

And with this cake my brain has officially exploded. I want to yell it's a larch for no particular reason other than I now have Monty Python on the brain thanks to Sharon lol. Wow.. no clue what to even think of this one.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

If this is a wedding cake it must be a small wedding, because the only cake involved has got to be that black thing at the bottom. The rest is a soda bottle and bent sticks covered in fondant. It's more likely an engagement cake.

You know the way, if a tree is cut down and then just left, it grows more twigs from the stump? The symbolism here is clearly 'Your love was cut down, sprouted a few feeble twigs, and then died.'

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I also love,LOVE, that it looks like the upside down discombobulated cow is tooting multicolored gas from his derriere... It may just be that I have a three year old boy whose entire vocab is made up of bodily-function words, but it is pretty obvious.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoemama

I also thought it was a cow/deer doing a face plant with a flower on it's who ha.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdebcurlydog

Yep. Great minds think alike. Like John, I thought, "Looks like a cow buried face down."
Which I thought was more awesome than it pretending to be a birch tree.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

The little jars on the tree are for the fire flys they caught and hung on the tree like christmas lights....

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph J

My daughter too one look and said those are not for maple sap, but those lanterns you hang in trees. I don't know what she means, but she was absolutely sure it wasn't as odd as I thought it was.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I'll bet it's a grooms cake and there's a giant bottle of bourbon or tequila in there!

September 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Ever heard "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?" This is what happened to the raindeer.

September 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGale

It is supposed to be a birch tree wedding cake that someone actually paid money for. The little jars are supposed to be lanterns with fireflies in them. I'm totally stoked this monstrosity was shared with the world :)

October 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.C

Not sure I'm ever going to recover from Dutch Elm Disease...

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDancesWithSpatulas

WHY is there tulle around the bottom of the cake? PLEASE tell me this is not a grooms cake that was actually at a wedding.....

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercklbe

HOW did you know WE said all that!? ;) STILL LMAO

October 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie&John

C'mon here in New Vermainasota we have Birch beer trees on our state flag as well.

November 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

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