Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jan152013

Keep It Simple, Stupid

Bride-to-be Coley got engaged in Hershey Park, so for her bridal shower her friends thought it would be fun to have a giant Hershey Kiss cake. Cool idea, right? Especially since, as far as shaped cakes go, a kiss shouldn't be that hard - I mean, it's not like it's a football helmet or anything.

In fact, while looking for a reference just now I found this one by Carrie of Half Baked. It's actually a cupcake, but c'mon: SO CUTE.

 

So just imagine this, only bigger. That's what they wanted for Coley's shower.

Instead, Coley's sister Tammy sent me a picture of what they did get, along with many emphatic assurances that yes, they actually paid for it (though "only" about $60), and yes, it was made by an actual "cake decorator" - though I should note she did put that part in quotes.

The cake was wrapped in tinfoil, a brilliant move on the "decorator's" part if ever I saw one, since that way no one saw the cake's true glory until it came time to serve it at the party.

At which point they unwrapped it to reveal...

 

 

....this:

 

 Um...

 Ok, call me crazy, but is that top reminding anyone else of those creepy weed guys in Ursula's lair?

No? Just me?

Ok then.

 

Thanks to Tammy and Coley for the kiss and tell.

« Heeeey Sexah LAY-DAY | Main | Am I Ready For Some What Now? »

Reader Comments (110)

It looks like a big, fat, featherless, sad bird on a foil nest.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

My jaw literally dropped. God awful!!!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

As we unwrap . . . this,
let's raise our voices and say:
"Curses! Foiled again!"

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sung to “Because Your Kiss is on My List”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u9FrXBWu_I

My friends wonder why I diss you all the time
What can I say?
I don’t feel the need to give you payment, OK?
I think maybe you need help. No, I know that I’m right, all right
I’d be better off going to a bakery that’s nice
‘Cause you insist on blowing my bliss
I’ll tell you this
When they want to know what the reason is
I sadly smile, roll my eyes and then show them why…

(Because your kiss) your kiss, it sorta lists
(Because your kiss) your kiss is absurdist
Because your kiss is on my list of the worst things in life…


They don’t remind me of Ursula’s poor, unfortunate souls. It’s more a penguin/vulture/Cthulhu hybrid…

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Looks to me like a turkey with out a head.... Poor Coley : )

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I wish there was a "click for instant delivery" button on this website, so I could order that cupcake for breakfast.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

… and the last they heard as a drunk and severely sun tanned Porky the Pig ran toward the wall-o-tinfoil was, "…RAMMING SPEED!!!!"

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

It looks like the baker mistook a 'kiss' for a 'hug'.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

I think I would ask for my $60 dollars back. I am speechless.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

I now have Poor Unfortunate Souls stuck in my head, which I suppose fits as they're mighty unfortunate to get that cake!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

"Run, don't walk from THE BLOB!"

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

@ Shirley Fowley - Oh my goodness, that was hilarious!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Actually the top looks like SOMEBODY worked at Dairy Queen...

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Good heavens. The Sorting Hat has been hit with a Stinging Jinx.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPoppetRock

So THAT'S where our Christmas turkey disappeared to! Must be some kind of turkey witness protection program.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I instantly thought of the Oogie Boogie man from Nightmare before Christmas. Looks kinda like his burlap-bag-esque, droopy-tipped head.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSammay

I think I got a specimen like that in my lab once O_o the actual cupcake looks so cute and yummy. Sharyn and Haiku joy, once again you have topped yourselves:D

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Am I the only one that thought, with the sheer volume of frosting, that the first one was a wreck? Just looking at that five foot frosting layers makes me want to reach for a syringe of insulin. That's more frosting than most CCCs have. Blech.

But I do agree with Sammay, the real fail is very Oogie Boogie-esque.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Now that Sammay has mentioned it, it DOES look like the head of Oogie Boogie. Which sends a completely different message than "Congratulations on your upcoming wedding."

In their defense, though, every now and then (apparently when the chocolate's been misbehaving, or someone stores them in the front window of the car in the sun), I do get a Hershey's kiss that looks like that. Maybe someone at the bakery is a little too literal and got one of the bad ones?

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Wow.....just...wow...it's not even the right colour. Reminds me of a giant overblown tumour....wonder what spilled out when they cut it open?

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

The thing on top looks like a finger to me. I would have been afraid to cut the cake to find the creepy hand that belongs to. Blech :-P

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

It looks like a pumpkin to me. Why is it orange?!?!?

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Oh. Oh my. I think they remind you of those creepy little weed guys because of the utter sorrow that cake expresses. And for a bridal shower! Oh my...

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCandice

Looks like an orange colored giant haggis to me.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterUldi

My first impression that it was a Kiss that was rejected, and has started to droop and deflate in dispair.

Or maybe the decorator got confused and tried to make the pointy top of the chocolate, combined with the paper strip at the top.

Either way, I hope it at leasted tasted good since it was chocolate!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I think the wreckerator messed up and accidentally sent the placenta cake intended for someone's baby shower.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Have you ever seen what kinds of poops dogs make when their bowel functions are not quite right, yet do not have a full diarrhoea? I could swear this cake looks exactly like a dog poop I once saw.

When I look at the picture I can smell the poop in my mind (which does not make the cake any more appealing to me).

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

All I can see is a pig's rear end.

But TLC, you're right--hopefully it tasted so good that they oinked out on chocolate and forgot how unkissable it was to begin with.

Sad.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie T

I'd expect to see this in Whoville. Anywhere else, not so much.

The reference not-a-wreck looks wrecky? Er, um... We know what happens if a wreck is questioned, but I'll have to refer this to DOC. Does that come under the general heading of 'questioning Jen'? Theardare, as an 'interested party', has graciously recused himself.

@Uldi, haggis FTW!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

That gnarled finger on top beckons you closer . . . TO YOUR DOOM. But hey, congratulations on your wedding.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKendra T

@Nagzilla - I thought that is was whipped dark chocolate ganache (maybe because I want it to be) which I could eat by the bucket, and I don't like sweets!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I do wish to see the inside and to know if it was more edible than visually appealing.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Striking resemblance to a hairball. Urk!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

I purposely scrolled down slow as to have a surprising effect.....i was more than surprised!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarla

Angry Turds!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky G

So *THIS* is what happens when you get yer boob job at the Jersey Shore.... huh.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCortney G.

After the post by Marnie T, all I can see is a pig butt now.

The cup cake one looks like it has chocolate mousse with frosting on top...not just a big lump of frosting on it. It looks yummy.

The wreck is just...um...yeah...speechless.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDNAMom

It makes me think of some kind of alien egg/pod with the striations. Detonate that blob so "something" doesn't hatch from it.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVKelley

I always wonder when I see these things...do the recipients of these terrible cakes every get their money back? Because if I'd ordered a Hershey Kiss cake and I got that thing, I'd raise a ruckus to end all ruckusses (rucki?).

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Oh that made me laugh out loud...how horrible

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMort

I think it looks like it might be the roast beast from How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

That just ran a FOWL!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAuroarah

it looks like an turkey without legs and wings - but the neck is still there.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

My jaw hit the desk when I saw that!
I mean this is cake wrecks so I figured it would be bad but I was actually expecting to see something resembling a pile of. well... you know. They deserve thier money back! If the bakery couldn't handle it they shouldn't have taken it on.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

......wow. How blind did the cake decorator have to be to even think that that would be alright??? I would not have paid for it, much less put it on the table. That's just awful!!
I hope it didn't ruin the bride's fond memories of Hershey Park!!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Gluten-Free Iditio

OMG LOL

Thanks for the laugh today! :)

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulieD

Ehhhh gross! It loloks like a pile of poo with an embilical cord attached at the end. They should get a refund for that Sh**! lol

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersheila anderson

Oh, oh, oh. God, I would have cried if it was my cake. But it isn't, so I just had a CSM (coffee spitting moment) all over my laptop.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHelene

Whatever that is (and it isn't a Kiss), it has an umbilical cord. We should be very afraid that it can breed, or already has.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEssJayTee

That's gross, and pretty much spot on for $60!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAsma

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>