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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov142013

Cookie Monster's Dirty Little Secret 

When you desperately hope they played "Jumping Jack Flash" at the reception:

 

And that they're just talking about driving here:

(It's as if millions of parents suddenly cried out in terror, "NoooOOOOOo!")

 

But mostly I just really, REALLY hope that's not a nipple:

GO HOME COOKIE MONSTER, YOU ARE DRUNK.

 

Thanks to Emily D., Angela N. & Camirae P., who tells me that IS a nipple, but if so, WHY IS IT THERE??

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Reader Comments (48)

Muppet nip slip? Must be talented to have a wardrobe malfunction with no wardrobe.

(I can't stop staring)

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

But if not a nipple, what is that?

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Other than the initials that first one looks nice, as for drunken monster hehehe

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Sung to "Jumping Jack Flash" (Hey, I'm easily led...)

They were wed in intestinal hurricanes
And her Ma yelled, "You're not driving in the rain!"
"I'm not all right, now." I said with a gasp.
"I'm not all right!"
"Cookie nip flash!" I said. Gasp, gasp, gasp!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

o.O Ah, well...with all that fur it would stand to reason that he IS a mammal, so.... yeah I got nothin.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

o.O Ah, well...with all that fur it would stand to reason that he IS a mammal, so.... yeah I got nothin.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

ummm....the nipple is a secret joke concerning how hungry you get when breastfeeding and that some experts suggest you drink beer to induce lactation?

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNickolina

Sung to "Jumping Jack Flash" (Hey, I'm easily led...)

They were wed in intestinal hurricanes
And her Ma yelled, "You're not driving in the rain!"
"I'm not all right, now." I said with a gasp.
"I'm not all right!"
"Cookie nip flash!" I said. Gasp, gasp, gasp!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

So, Muppets ARE mammals. (Just one more answer to a question I never thought to ask!)

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Compared to the monstrosities that are the cakes from the past few days, the first two cakes are actually not that bad! The top one is actually rather pretty :) Unfortunate initials though...

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBri

Given its placement, I think a nipple is better than the alternative. Just sayin'.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

...Also, I work part time at a gift store that does personalized engraving, and believe me when I tell you, I've seen some... INteresting... Monograms... O_o

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I can just hear the baker on the first cake now..."Do we call the bride to tell her about the unfortunate monogram or let her be surprised? Naw, it'll be a GAS!" Pretty cake, bad execution of monogram...

On the second cake, I would say it's a highly successful use of "you're." This is something we are not used to seeing and I applaud the baker. Stellar grammar!

Now, poor Cookie....reduced to nipple slippage to fund his cookie habit....

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

I'm with Subee, if that's not a nipple I'm not sure I want to know what it is.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Oh, Cookie Monster -- you know where this will all end (again) -- http://shirt.woot.com/offers/the-binge

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The turkey is done!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

Let me tell you how wrong it is to be laughing at a Muppet Nipple (is that a new band name?) while on the phone with a company's customer service rep.... I was on hold, so I browse the web, and she comes back on the phone just as I get to Mr (Ms?) Monster's nipple, and yeah... you can't explain it... especially if they've never heard of Cake Wrecks.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterstaxia

I can't stop laughing! That cookie monster cake is just so perfectly funny!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMystrana

In some states, 16 is legal. Scary. But at the same time, this isn't something that should be shouted to the rooftops, IMHO.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRay

That's a little low for a nipple... I think he's playing the game from 'waiting.'

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me

Yes, but were the millions of parents suddenly silenced? Sorry, couldn't resist the Star Wars reference.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I got the earworm even before @Sharyn's song!

I'm so glad that it's been confirmed that Cookie Monster has a nipple because I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what it might be if not a nipple. @Nickolina, your explanation is as good as any!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

When I see that cookie monster cake, it makes me think of that Rodney Carrington song "Don't Look Now (Momma's Got Her Boob's Out). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykINJGgdJqM

Is boob swearing? I don't know if my comment will make it, lol...

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Looked at the wedding cake and thought, "Huh. Maybe they should have put Susan's initial first and Gary's last... NO! That's even worse!"

At least, I think it is....

Muppet nipple, huh? (The whole idea gags me with a fuzzy blue spoon.) Let's just call it a "Mipple", okay? I was hoping that it was some kind of valve stem thingy to pump air into the darn thing--like it's an inflatable fake cake, maybe? Hey, stranger things have happened! One can hope.
@Ray: I do my shouting FROM the rooftops. Gets more attention that way. I do like your way much better, though, since I'm afraid of heights. =^-.-^=

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Poor Cookie monster. This will date me, but it looks like it could be a broken (no metal catch) gizwhiz on a garter belt. ( For those of you young whippersnappers, it held up your nylon stockings.) Man, I hated those knobby little instruments of torture.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

And it's not pierced. Well, I'll give Cookie Monster that much. Burt and Ernie on the other hand, well, you don't want to know.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

@drgns4vr: I'm *older*, too, and remember garter belts and stockings! I started wearing them my freshman year of high school, and miniskirts were just coming into vogue. Awkward, much, going up stairs?! Pantyhose were the best invention, ever!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Muppets are mammals?? Nuh-uh.
Muppet Monsters may be mammals, but Kermit is an amphibian! And Pepe is a shrimp (not a shrimp, a King Prawn!) And Gonzo is an...extra terrestrial. And then there's the chckens and Sam the American Eagle...and the dragon.

I cannot love the Cookie Nipple. The mug of beer okay but that? Just NO.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

Nylon makes you the whippersnapper, drgns. In my day, we wore SILK!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Could be a flower. A wrecky one.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

@Merry from Annie's - agreed : SAG isn't a better monogram. :s

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

I don't think it's intentionally a nipple. I believe it is supposed to be the pad of his foot, however, sure missed the mark!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I too am so excited about the proper use of "you're" on the second cake that I just can't worry about the rest of it. It really is a shame about that first cake. It really is well done other than the initials. You'd think someone would have realized...

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

I think Burt and Ernie were going to shave Cookie Monster but he wasn't drunk enough yet...

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Great photos, looking forward to following your blog! Cheers!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandre Raymundo

Perhaps Cookie is a marsupial, and that pink thing is Cookie's naked baby crawling its way to Cookie's pouch.

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

so nice... Sharyn had to post twice? ;P

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterfpelayo

@Just Andrea way to take a bad moment and make it horrifying. (shudders)

NO! Muppet Nipple is not an acceptable band name. Just NO!

November 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

For the exception of how bad those initials are put on, it's actually a pretty cake. Me in my brain, sees the word "Gas" and hears Janet Weiss sing "It's a gas that Frankie's landed....". Yeah, I'm warped. I never dreamed that Cookie Monster had nipples. Wow, you learn something new everyday.

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Oh man.. legal for what is the question lol. I too hope they mean to drive. And I will never ever look at Cookie Monster the same way again lol thanks wreckerators.

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Well, really, the couple with the first cake was screwed no matter which order they did they did the initials in their monogram; which is worse, "GAS", or "SAG"?

Your Pal,

Storm

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

In many states, 16 is legal, and that's not the lowest age with parental consent.
Odds are, the cake was given by the lucky young lady's* friends, not her parents.

*guys are legal at the same age, but they don't "enter society," and nobody cares what age they are. they certainly don't get a special set of clothes or congratulation parties.

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

My haiku, eaten.
My internet, so wonky.
My nipples, covered.

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The last cake is clearly a tribute to Tim Crist AKA "ShoEboX" AKA "Worm Quartet" & his song, "C is for Lettuce", which satirizes the over-protective/under-involved/mentally-defective parents who protest Cookie Monster's cookie-eating & other such imagined "detriments" to society in lieu of taking personal responsibility for their children's up-bringing. (ShoEboX has a "thing" for mentioning the word "nipple" in his songs, thus the nipple on CM ;D )
Look "Worm Quartet" & his songs up on thefump.com (the FUMP = the FUnny Music Project)
I would provide a direct link but the "booger king" wifi is blocking me from the site because of "downloads".
(the "downloads" are weekly songs provided for free download by the comedy artists themselves on the main page & BK feels the need to block the entire site apparently, even tho all downloads etc. are provided 100% legally, again, by the artists themselves,/i>.......stupid BK!)

November 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

@ staxia
in a situation like that just lie & say you're watching the latest "simon's cat" episode or something like that; something they can look up with guaranteed funniness. It's just simpler than explaining a cake of a muppet with a nipple.

November 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

i couldn't find the nipple at first, wish i didn't find it at all.

November 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

Am I the only one who doesn't quite get the three initials on wedding cakes? So one is his first name, one is her first name, and the other is his surname? Is that how it works? Why don't people just put their first initials on it? I mean, it's not like people at the wedding don't know who they are. And it would greatly reduce the potential for unintended wedding cake hilarity.

Oh wait, I forgot. Most people are idiots. Never mind...

November 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHenri

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