My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Close But No Sitar

That's one way to liven up a game.


Finally! A hero we can bank on.


This is all J.K. Rowling's fault, isn't it?


I'm not sure, but I think Molly approves of her farewell party:


A former patient sent this in to the hospital where Jill T. works - thereby dashing my hopes that "Dr. Watson & Staff" was some kind of high-end bush doctor:


And finally, when Amy D's aunt returned from a long trip she received this warm... um... welcome?

"Walk him. Walk him. Welk him. Welkim. Wellllk ome."

[head tilt]

Nope, there's no way.
I give up.


Thanks to Vanessa W., Nichole B., Elizabeth W., Amy G., Jill T., & Amy D. for being the apple of my pie. The supper crust. The peanut butter to my belly. The... dang, now I'm hungry.

« Awww... WAIT. | Main | Caaandy Candy Candy! »

Reader Comments (48)

It's really sad about cake number five, because it's really a beautiful cake! Of course, it's hilarious for us!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

LOL! I'm so doing the Walk Him Home to my Dad next time he comes home from a big business trip. He'll probably think it's some passive aggressive thing to get him to walk the pup. ;-)

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Sung to "The Bear Went over the Mountain"

That bear spelling is confounding
My interest in cake's compounding
Hirsute Library's Astounding
"It's good!" so says Molly.

Your Angel pulled a weed
He'll follow if you lead

I think these bakers need grounding
The headache they caused is pounding
OK, I'm finished expounding
I'll have some advil, please.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The sad part is that most of these cakes are beautifully done, and then the decorator had to write on them. On the last one, balloons that actually look like balloons!

P:.S. Thanks for explaining that last one, I never would have got it.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

It's too bad the 5th cake fell victim to some lamebrain who felt "guardian" and "gardening" are interchangeable. It is actually a beautiful cake.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

The gardening angel was was GORGEOUS. That wreckerator sure can write beautifully on a cake. Now if only someone would buy her a dictionary

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrysmon

Gardening Angel.....hahahahahaha, a new true classic! Good grief!

Love the "motion" marks with the football on #1, just the right touch. Bares, hee! And aw, makes me think of Friday Night Lights, sigh......(not that they were "Bares," they were Panthers and Lions (Panties and Lines? ;) )).

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the chuckles!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoanie B

The "gardening angel" one is cracking me up. It really is a lovely cake. smh at all of them though.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Bwah! I love these kinds of wrecks the best. And Sharyn, this is my favorite song of yours yet! Thanks to you and Jen for a good belly laugh! "Walk him home" is my happy thought for the day.

In the spirit of Haiku Joy:

Spelling is all wrong
Malapropisms do abound
Bakers need a smack.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

My father has Alzheimer's and is living with my sister. Once he "escaped" and was wondering around the neighborhood. The last cake would have been PERFECT for just that situation. XD. See??? There can be a cake for ANYTHING!!!!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

True story: when my son was in 1st grade, his teacher told them that "Tonto" was a friendly Indian who taught the Pilgrims to plant corn.
Walk him to 1st grade!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

"Walk Him Home" is my new fav wreck.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

There was a mortgage broker who dressed up like the lone ranger and road a horse in a town parade with a sign that said, 'Loan Arranger". I thought that was clever.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

@Sharyn: You used the word "hirsute" in a song. I am officially in awe. (bows to the master)

Bare football: Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

For the "Harry" cake, I'm guessing that someone's hand-printed 'p's don't have the loops closed so they're mistakeable for 'r's?

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

"The... dang, now I'm hungry."

At least this is an improvement over some of the cakes that leave one without an appetite and instead just a vague sense of nausea. ;)

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Freakin' hilarious
Ah, Cake Wrecks. You always make my morning. You also make my co-workers wonder at what could possibly be so funny about cakes.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

What the heck is "Harry National Library Week"?

You will have to do the "Walk Him...." schtick again for me to get that one.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAdrian

@Sharyn, great song, but... did you deliberately confuse Harry and Hairy, to add an extra layer of wreckiness? I'll assume that was the case.

And the "Gardening angel" cake - which is very beautiful - takes on a whole new meaning if you've heard The Bloggess talk about a "lady garden"! Maybe the team really are "gardening" angels.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbelphebe

bush doctor *giggle*

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

Jodi, drop the "do" and you've got it.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

It makes perfect sense... Amy D's aunt was on a baseball retreat. Clearly. Sheesh.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Walk Him Home....lmao!! I'm still giggling, I can say that cake literally took my breath away, with laughter.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaLanya

Seeing patients, gardening and solving cases with Sherlock? That Dr. Watson is a busy man. Wonder where in 221B the garden is?

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Okay, as a plant-loving-type-person, I had to look at #5 twice to figure out why "gardening angel" would be a problem. Makes perfect sense to me! :)

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJill

Okay, as a plant-loving-type-person, I had to look at #5 twice to figure out why "gardening angel" would be a problem. Makes perfect sense to me! :)

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJill

The last cake had nice balloons, but I though it looked like little sperm squiggles ON the balloons . Tell me I'm wrong, please.

Sharyn, bravo!!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

you know, you have to these people that order these cakes have some sort of foreign accent?? Take that last cake for do you get from Welcome Walk Him Home?? unless the person has a thick accent and actually pronounced it thusly??
The mystery of cake wrecks I tell ya!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRita

I miss @Craig's List

@Sharyn ~ Once again, I bow to your greatness my friend. Would you like anything while I'm down here? Maybe I can dust your shoes? ;-)

Am I the only one who heard the twangy sound that is a sitar in the background while I was reading this? With extra loud twangs as I scrolled over the wrecks of course!

The Walk Him Home one reminds me of the part in the movie Hook when they are playing baseball and the pirates got the signs mixed up so they are shouting "RUN HOME JACK".

I'm the only one? **sigh** Off to find some Tylenol for my impending migraine.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Hee Steve, your brain works like mine -- I actually was counting "malapropisms" as five syllables at first, then I realized that it's only four -- mal-a-prop-isms. (I originally was parsing it out as mal-a-prop-is-ums.) That's why I added the "do." :-)

Okay, I got the "Walk Him Home" = "Welcome Home" first thing. What I didn't get til I read the astute comments here is that "gardening" = "guardian." I thought the doctor and his staff had just made it possible for their patient to enjoy gardening again and was wondering why that was a wreck. I'd settled upon the fact that it should be "angels" instead of "angel." Oh posters, I love you as much as I love Jen!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Sharyn bahahahhaa :D the cakes O_o

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Good golly Ms. Molly!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

I would much rather the bares than the bears....

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

It is a good thing my desk chair has arms. I would have fallen off from laughing at the "Walk him home" cake. Just the thing for a drunken sailor party!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

What's up with the balloons on the last cake?

1. Make nice balloons that don't look like wiggly sperm, check
2. Add strings that also don't look like wiggly sperm, check

Now you are ahead of most balloon cakes seen here


Add some wiggly sperms on top of the balloons..... doh.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Walk. Him. Home. With little sperms on the balloons. Is this a cake for a fertility doctor?

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkashuneko

What if the darkening angel was someone that did some impromptu gardening for Dr Watson and staff? I would have used that pun to say thank you! And normally you sign your name the way that have put dr Watson's -


November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Best song EVER Sharyn!

I live in Virginia, so I tried the Walk Him Home cake in the thickest Tennessee/ Western North Carolina accent in my head...nope, still doesn't work. Wow, you just wonder.

Thanks once again for the hearty guffaw, I was unable to log on until I got home, so no one in the office looked at me cross-eyed and sneered at my outburst, although you would think they would be used to it by now. They don't seem to get CW, I have shared with a few people and no one at work, not even my sister think it's all that it's "wrecked" up to be. I don't understand how THEY can say they have a sense of humor AT ALL. If they don't find CW funny, than what the hell is the point in life? Oh, I get it, I can laugh AT THEM...muuuhhhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPam

@drgns4vr: Nope, I saw them too. It seems that balloons and sperm must be linked on wrecks in some way, shape, or form.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Your commentary made them even more amusing. Thanks for the chuckles.

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSam

I thought Molly's cake was missing a "golly."

@Jodee re: "I miss @Craig's List " me, too, but thankfully mel's been in fine form lately :)

I'm impressed by the writing on the library and gardening cakes!!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Thank heavens it's not just my sick mind that saw sperms on the balloons. I was beginning to worry.

November 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

At first I didn't see anything wrong with the beautiful garden cake until I realized they meant guardian lmao. My brain has a slow mode going right now so no wonder I didn't see it. Ugh such a beautiful cake.

November 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I'm with Rita, I'm thinking Walk Him Home HAD to have been requested by someone with a strong accent. Right? I really hope so. And gardening angel sure is a gorgeous cake.

November 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercyndy bush

When you said "HIgh-end bush doctor" I wasn't thinking about a garden, I was thinking you meant another way to say Ob-Gyn doctor until I saw the cake. That put me on the floor laughing so hard!

November 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterstechlynn

Before meeting him on a roof at St Barts, Jim Moriarty had a lovely cake custom made for Sherlock, containing word choice errors referring to him as "staff", and containing a veiled threat of his demise. Mycroft ate it anyway.

November 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandra

"Walk Him Home" - the version that they started with in Les Miserables but eventually abandoned.

God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there

He is young,
He is afraid.
Let him rest,
Heaven blessed.
Walk him home.
Walk him home.
Walk him home.

He's like the son I might have walked
If God granted me some shoes.
The walkers strut
One by one.
How soon they shuffle
On and on.

And I am old
And will need socks.

Bring him Nike,
Bring him Adidas.
He is young
He is only a boy (so maybe a pair of Stride Rights?)

You can take,
You can give.
Let him lace
Let him live,
If I trip, let me trip
Let him not slip.
Walk him home
Walk him home
Walk him home.

November 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

WELK HIM. Wilk HOME. Yep, same here...not getting a signal...

November 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

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