My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Irish Bakery Rovers

December 26th is traditionally the slowest day of the year for Cake Wrecks. Apparently, people are "spending time with family" or whatever. Now normally, we would put up the Sandra Lee Kwanzaa post which is glorious in its wreckitude, but this year, I thought I'd do something different.

Because Jen's asleep and I can do what I want because she's not the boss of me!*

(*Okay, technically, she is my boss. Love you, sweetie!)

...So, um, enjoy!


There were green alligators...


...and long-necked geese,


some pimply-backed horses...


...and some chimpanzees.


Some cats,


and rats,


and elephants...


...but sure as you're born,



the creepiest of all was the unicorn!



Thanks to Leslie J., Terri C., Luci, Samantha P., Sara A., Rysha M., Kathie N., Jenn M., and Chris B., who have probably all heard this song even though Jen hadn't because apparently, she didn't listen to 70's Irish folk music as a child. Weirdo.

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Reader Comments (59)

Faith and begorrah, John. You've managed to find a song I don't know! (I have a bad feeling the unicorn's about to get wet...)

Perfect post for Boxing Day, as my kitchen, post celebration, is a mess of biblical proportions.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Well, I have to say that I am a little obsessed with the cat, which (try as I may) registers in my brain only as a cow. (Seriously, I cannot unsee the cow) Perhaps the unicorn song now seared into my brain has a little to do with that. (Thanks John)

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Brilliant, John!

As for that "cat" -- there oughta be some legislation to ban the use of shiny black frosting! (shudder)

And that rat is going to give me nightmares.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

Do not gaze into the eyes of the unicorn, or you will be condemned to singing this song forever while eating mountains of frosting.

And as for The Thing coming out of the belly pod....ugh....never mind.

I need more sugar.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

O_o cannot say anything else

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Darn you & your unicorn that I can't see because I crying like wee baby now! I'd forgotten all about this song--haven't heard it in decades! I love it SO much. I can't even find fault with those creatures up there above...they're all beautiful to me right now. Everything's beautiful!! John, you are a peach! Thank you! I kind of *needed* this today. (In the northern part of my state there are thousands of people without power due to an ice storm, it's really cold, and it's so sad!) :-(

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

No, the creepiest is actually the cake ABOVE the unicorn. Blargh.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

I sang the song through the post!! (camels/horses...same difference!)
Great job John (thoj)

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Wow! An R.O.U.S. or at least an R.O.U. Ugliness! And, BTW, thanks for putting THAT earworm back in my head, after all these years!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPrism

Thank you for this post-Christmas treat! That brought back many memories - I loved that song when I was little (in the 70's ;) Although, I can't find the version I listened to, I think it was Mitch Miller. Happy Boxing Day!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLynda

I loved that song as a kid, although it is sad when the unicorns drown at the end. Perhaps if they looked like that scary red abomination it was for the best...

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

The unicorn has googlie eyes...maybe he belonged to Marty Feldman...

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

One of my favorites! I could sing this and Puff for hours upon hours as a child. And also as a college student, while drinking copious amounts of Guiness, but that's a different story. Well done john(thoj).

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

OMG, the memories! In the early 80s, when my posse of young professionals really should have been old enough to know better, we frequented Irish bars & sang our drunken little hearts out. Hated this song, along with "7 Old Ladies"… Tried never to go on a Friday night as each was sure to get sung at least twice. It's much better as a wreck.

I'll bet there's a wreck out there just waiting to be put to the tune of 7 Old Ladies too. Go on, you know you want to!

Oh, and does #4 say "Fingeroo cake"? Fingerod? Either way, wtf?

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermolly

I got stuck halfway through, trying to add up all the ways that chimpanzee cake missed the mark. I think my favorite is the paired foot and hand under its, um....jowls?

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Wow! It's been a while since I've heard that song, so thanks for bringing it back! Now to find my New Christy Minstrels, Back Porch Majority and Chad Mitchell Trio albums....those were the days!

@sendingtheclowns: glad you're OK, and sorry for your northern neighbor's plight.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Cannot believe that song popped into my head. That 'song head-worm' thing will be going on allllllllll day long.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlynn bowes

hahaha...the country music station my mother listened to while I was growing up used to play that song every Sunday morning but I haven't heard it in YEARS so the lyrics really brought back memories!

As for the cakes to illustrate the lyics, I think I'd have called the one a "chim-poo-zee." Looking at that bowling ball masquerading as a pregnant belly, I keep getting this image of that baby hand picking up the ball and throwing itself down the alley for a strike in true Looney Tunes style. :)

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLady Kal

And the bakers starting wreckin’, they never even tried,
To make a decent cake and the unicorns all cried.
And Jen and John showed up and started posting them each day.
That’s why you never see a lovely cake to this day.

Ah, Shel Silverstein. A finer Irishman never walked the earth...

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Awwww, I always loved that song! Thanks for a great post Christmas post, John! Can't say that I miss Sandra Lee's "Kwanzaa" cake all that much. In fact, not at all. It should be wiped from the annals of history as if it never existed and never spoken of again. Sweep it under the rug, lock it in the closet, throw it in the bottom of the well, flush it down the toilet...whatever it takes to never, NEVER, have to endure that heinous mess again. In fact, I think the look on the Unicorn's face is aftermath from having seen the Kwanzaa cake and now the poor thing is just trying to keep itself from going into a seizure. I'm sure of it.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

It must be some form of child neglect to not have tormented them with the Irish Rovers as they were growing up. Poor Jen, poor Sharyn.

Good thing that cat cake said "meow" or we'd still be scratching our heads. That poor elephant looks like he can't believe it either.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

Ah yes, the Unicorn Song by Shel Silverstein. How it got associated with trad Irish music I'll never know, but it's quite a fun song. And wow, that's supposed to be

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I LOVE the fact that you referenced the Unicorn! I grew up listening to that song, and have never met ANYBODY else who has known it! Shout out to you, and thank you always for the laughs!!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSha

Just wanted to point out that the song,'"The Unicorn," was written by Shel Silverstein, author of "The Giving Tree," "The Missing Piece," and "Where the Sidewalk Ends," and composer of many other famous songs like "A Boy Named Sue," "Sylvia's Mother," "Cover Of the Rolling Stone," and "The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan."

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBillyG

Thank you for resurrecting that song! I loved it when I was a kid!

@mel, I think we had the New Christy Minstrels Christmas album. I kniw my mother LOVED listening to the Lennon sisters when she sewed. Ah, memories. . . . .

But I want to erase my memories of that rat cake. Ugh. There is nothing about this. . . .thing. . . . . That even tempts me to taste the frosting. Yikes.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@mel~Oh, thank you, sooo much! That's so sweet of you! It's a real mess up there, with at least 14 deaths attributed to it already, and this is a very small state. I feel so helpless to help.
(But I'm stopping before I get kicked outta the clubhouse! This is a happy place, and no downers should be allowed!) =^~.~^=

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Bahahaha. Nice. Also how can Jen have not heard this song?? Lol. Then my dad is Irish so I was raised on the Irish Rovers. It's part of my awesome. Lol. ;) Now I just hope these cakes don't come to mind next time I hear it. Pretty sure that cat will eat anyone before they have the chance to eat it. O.o

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBittenUsagi

"Unicorn" wreck: "Friendship is Magic... BEEYOTCH!!!!!!"

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

That R.O.U.S. freaks me the heck out!!! And I'm not sure I really believe that thing up there is a cat. I think they put the "Meow" on there to trick us into thinking it's a cat. I have no clue what it really is but my first, second and seventh guess are NOT a cat.

Thanks john (thoJ) for NOT torturing us with "She who must not be named". We love you more than poo wangs!!

Er... More than cake! Yeah, that's what I really meant! :-)

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Ah, loved that song! Brought back pleasant memories of a little pink "record player" and a stack of 45s.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

And it's no nay never! No never no more will I play the wild wrecker no never no more!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen

That has to be the creepiest unicorn ever. I'm sure that horse would be fine if it tried some Proactiv.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

The funny thing is, that's exactly what my daughter did with her arm when she was born

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Great pictures. The song... ISN'T IRISH! It was sung by the Irish Rovers, yes. But it was written by Shel Silverstein, the American poet. Only saying this because I used to play in a traditional Irish band, and OMG the amount of times that song was requested over actual, true Irish traditional songs made my soul bleed. LOL Still... awesome post. And I seriously love the R.O.U.S's comment. That was my first thought with that one! I don't think they even exist....

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShanan

I love that song, and those were quite the wrecks.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDawn Marie

My favorite song as a child!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

I haven't thought of that song in years! We loved the Irish Rovers when we were kids. Thanks for bringing back lots of great memories.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Hahaha loved this post, one of my favorites!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

Aaaah! I didn't know anyone else in the world knew that song! Now it will be stuck in my
But thanks, anyhow!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKayBee

Dude. Seriously. I was just telling my daughter about this song at our Christmas Eve dinner. Of course, she's 5 and I passed it off as the truth...I'm not sure if that makes me a bad parent or not. Horrible cakes, by the way! Outstanding!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCookieD'oh

What? No humpy-backed camel cakes? Why don't people request those?
Ah, well, the pimple back horse will do.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

Forget traditional Irish music (or faked-traditional Irish music) as a child of the 70s -- hasn't Jen every been to an Irish pub where they sang it? This takes me back to my college days hanging out a Limerick Junction in Atlanta! Thanks for the walk down memory lane, but the visuals are not quite as I remember -- maybe it was all the pints that went along with the singing??

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

This one's for anyone who doesn't know the song... Enjoy! (original version by the Irish Rovers) ( newer version with fun visuals!)

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbaraP

That was awesomeness to the max! I know that song all too well and those cakes, well, those cakes don't do it justice! Hell, those cakes don't do anyone or anything justice.

Nice job, you need a raise!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGail

Oh my goodness! One of my favorite Girl Scout camp songs - I used to lead the singing for that song in the dining hall, in the late 80s, being one of the few counselors who knew it all the way through, complete with arm gestures during the chorus! Sooo many associated memories...

I got so caught up in the song, I had to remind myself to go back and look at the wrecks... I'll admit to a small obsession with unicorns, but that one... yikes!

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I *think* that the R.O.U.S. just might be a guinea pig (judging by its ears). But who can say in the land of wrecks?

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterROUS

... And I've now confused my son by dancing around the kitchen singing this in full voice, as well as forwarding it to every camp friend I have email for. =-)

My son says the rat cake looks more like a toad. Neither are animals I would want to eat, in cake or any other form.

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I love that song! The morning show guys on one of our local radio stations play it every year on St. Patrick's Day. So fun. Your wrecky illustrations are perfect! :)

December 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Irish folk music? Really? It was sung at every vacation bible camp my mom sent me to. And in catholic grade school music class. I still remember the actions, too, sadly...

December 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Holy cow! I have never met anyone else who knows of the Irish Rovers! I introduced them to my husband with the one & only CD I have of them. We listen to it ever St. Patrick's Day. ;) As for the cakes...again, holy cow, but in a sad way.

December 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

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