My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

And REALLY Bad Eggs!

With all of the mutant bunny and chick cakes oozing around, I'd like to take a moment to remind you that there's actually much more to Easter than mutant bunny and chick cakes.

There are also wonky cross and historically inaccurate tomb cakes!


 And consternated brownie blobs!


And commemorations of the day Pac-Man went rogue!


We can't forget the flag-impaled lamb cakes, either:

No matter HOW hard we try.



Because we STILL don't understand these things.

 (I haven't seen any new ones in at least a year or two, though. No doubt the secret society of smoking lamb cakes has gone even DEEPER underground.)


Of course, we all have that one friend who likes to lecture us on how Easter actually started as a pagan fertility festival, to which I say:

There has GOT to be a fertility joke in here somewhere.


Let's see ...

Something about a bad egg?


A cake that's hard to reproduce?


An Easter spread?

You know what, I think I'll just stop there.


Thanks to Miriam R., Susan B., Diane F., Jennifer R., Kathy C., & Jenna M. from the bottom of my heart. (Because the upside down heart looks like a bottom? EH? No, please, I'll show myself out.)

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Reader Comments (58)

On the postive side, at least the first cake is spelled correctly and properly puncutated.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

O...M...G I cannot believe the bakers out there-how do they have jobs?!?!?!?!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Oh...dear...LORD! That last cake, er, cookie...I can not UnSee what you have now put into my head. I will never look @ heart-shaped cookies the same way ever, EVER, AGAIN. It's just so...HUGE! Like...HUGE tracts of land...Thank God for Craig's UnSee machine. Ohhh, Craaaa--iiig? Better start warming it up now; that machine's gonna get a workout today...

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I'm with Karate Lady. First glance I saw a trio of wonky eggs. Reading the commentary. "ah...hmmm...OH GOD!!!" D: If you'll excuse me, I'm off to find the brain bleach

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

My LOL was the Easter Pac-Man cake.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

The day Pac-Man went rogue made me laugh out loud. Thank you!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

I have a question. What IS the Pac-Man supposed to be? It can't be a cracked open colored egg, can it?

And can't the bakeries just put away the heart shaped pans in mid-February, and leave them there until January? Please?

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

A R.I.P. tombstone on an Easter cake....that is hilarious (and oh-so-sad). Surely someone wasn't dumb enough to walk into a bakery, ask for a cake with a tomb on it and expect it to come out right. (Right?!)

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

You know what makes the last one really difficult to un-see? The middle egg being pink, and with a certain shape on the inside.The baker had to have done that on purpose! And I can't tell what flavor the cake's supposed to be!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy

Pirates reference FTW!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Hmmm, I disagree with Sarah about the first cake. Hi is risen? As in Hi and Lois from the cartoon strip? And the RIP seems a little shaky from a doctrinal perspective. Is he risen? Or is he resting? I can hear a theological debate coming on.
In Buffalo, NY, at this time of year a popular commodity is the butter lamb. Yes, a lamb (that looks a lot like the smoking lamb cake sans the cigarette) made of solid butter. I don't know which is creepier- just the thought of cutting off its head makes me shiver.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

Lamb cakes are freaky, but I guess they used to be a thing! Mid-Century Menu did a bunch of posts on them here:

Who knew?

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

The last cake... it has so many facets of awful. Not only is it garish and awkwardly inappropriate - it also has PanWow going for it. SMH

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRAma

The smoking lamb probably was intended to be a camel--Camel cigarettes. Get it.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIcechip

Re: Last "cake": Oh. I get it. Didn't at first. I'm as innocent as a smoking lamb.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Izzy - According to the label, the Labia Cake is chocolate.

The second sheep cake gives a whole new meaning to "smoked lamb".

Dammit, now I'm craving BBQ...

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I think the whole lamb cake thing is because many Christians give up something for lent, and I think the lamb represents the sacrifice which used to be eaten on Easter morning. The Cigarette is a common vice that many people give up as well so maybe its a celebration of being able to puff the cancer sticks and stuff ourselves on meat again?!

One way or another, its creepy.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephi

As for the last cake...STD.

*starts looking for Craig and that un-see machine*

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

I wonder if the "smoking lambs" thing isn't due to some kind of confusion about *smoked* meats?

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLee

I am told that the smoking lamb cake (and variations thereof) are celebratory of the end of Lent and thus the end of avoiding whatever vice you gave up for Lent (i.e. - I gave up smoking for Lent, but now it's Easter so I can smoke again). The religious implications here are vast and complicated, and as a lapsed Catholic I need to go smoke a cigarette now (I did not give them up for Lent, like are you CRAZY?).

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

I adore both the smoking lamb and the flags lambs.
However the flag lambs will NOT stop screaming!!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

@BADKarma that made me snort in the most unladylike fashion. And I'm working at the front desk today. O.O Thanks for that!
Now I'm going to stand in line quietly behind KarateLady and Kim in ID and wait for Craig and the unsee machine.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

There is a new, more portable Unsee Machine to go with the original. I just hope they don't get pointed at each other...

#1 I'm sure pick up was a great witnessing opportunity, so it wasn't all bad. Extra points for not spelling out, "exclamation point".

#2 Boss at meeting: "We need a unique product for Easter. We also have those brownie trays we've been trying to unload since forever. Efficiency dictates we combine those things. Tell me how."
Bald guy with coffee cup permanently attached to hand: "We could ship those trays to our plant in Elbonia, have them sprayed with bright colors and shipped back here."
Guy with gravity-defying tie: "We could do all that, sell them for ten dollars each and still make money? What's in these things? What exactly do you mean by 'bright colors'?"
Bald guy: "The less you know, the better. Especially from a 'plausible deniability' standpoint."
Boss: "I like it!"

#5 Ah, the perennial mystery, updated with two bonus puzzles: What is it made of, and why does the card say, "Happy Birthday My Love"?

#6 At the morning meeting, employees were told to increase efficiency by finding ways to 'repurpose' seasonal cake pans, especially the heart. Pertinent questions, such as how exactly that increases efficiency, were left unanswered when the boss suddenly had something else to do.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think the creepiest thing about the smoking lamb cake, is the card around it's neck that says, "Happy Birthday My Love"

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermrsjcc

Another opportunity taken to re-use the pan (hopefully not a cake) from last month! Although I s'pose it's one outcome of Valentine's day...=smirk=

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLouisa

Maybe the smoking lamb is suppose to be Joe Camel?

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Not looking, not looking, not looking...scroll past any comments that reference the last "cake".

I do not want to chance feeling the side effects of the UnSee Machine again.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

It was hard to pick a favorite today, but I'm thinking Consternated Brownie Blobs beat out Rogue Pac-Man, by a hare. Get it? Easter, hare? Huh? Huh? Ah-heh.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

All searches for "smoking lamb" turn up only methods for actually smoking lamb. At least none involve a lighter and small pieces of paper. A search for "lamb with cigarette" turned up a mix of other unanswered inquiries and multi-national links / references to Cake Wrecks.

While I haven't yet checked Wikipedia, it appears that "smoking lamb" is exactly the sort of self-referential mystery meme that built the Internet is responsible for exactly 42% of the world's problems.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

My fiancée looked at the first one and said, "Schrodinger's Christ?"

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Those lamb cakes remind me that I've always wanted one of those lamb shaped pans to make meatloaf ('cause I wouldn't eat a real lamb.)

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterstaying anon

...Why do the Flag Lambs have so MANY flags? Is that Ireland on the left, and US on the right and... maybe Finland in the middle? Is there really a call for so much flaggage?

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

I really like the way they vajazzled that last "cake". So appropriate for Easter.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

@Jodee - since you're working the front desk @ your workplace, you have dibs on the portable UnSee machine. (Remember, though, be nice & bring it back - no pimping it out to your co-workers. They need to be authentic Wreckporters if they wish to use it.)

@Kim in ID - gimme a minute & I'll be done with the original UnSee machine here in the Bunker. If Jodee brings back the portable before I'm done, go ahead & use that one, but do it in *another* room like the Atrium, the Gym, or the Den, lest we cross the streams & make the machines UnSee each other like Craig mentioned above. And point it @ your eyes *only*. Don't point it @ your body, lest you UnSee yourself like Craig did when he tried to hide from Theardare. (You may recall that Theardare simply switched the sound system from blaring music into Room 101 to blaring it out of Room 101, filling the *entire* Bunker with a mix of Barry Manilow, Rick Astley, and everyone's favorite, "Christmas Shoes"...)

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Ahhh, it's just not Easter without the smoking lamb cake! :o)

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterApril Fool

The wonky cross coming out of the grass - if that isn't a fertility symbol, then I don't know what is risen!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Someone just posted the following in response to the chowhound question ( - makes as much sense as the other explanations, I guess!

"i know this is really old, but just saw the smoking lamb cakes recently. I immediately just thought of the paschal lamb. I realize they slaughter them, so I figured that the lamb was smoking because they ALWAYS give the condemned a cigarette before they face the firing squad."

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteralamatwirl

Done and done! Thanks @KarateLady! Although I may need to talk to Craig about building me one of these things. Might come in handy for some of the things I see here on a daily basis. My workplace is next door to the post office and across the street from the local jail. And did I mention that the front of the building is glass so I have a great view? O.O

p.s. you just HAD to go there that that stooooopid song didn't you? Hey, that reminds me...Sharyn? Yoooohoooo!!!! Do we need to send a search party? And for Haiku Joy too???

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Now I'm going to have to send out an Expedition to the farthest reaches of The Attic of Mysterious Things and see if I can find my lamb cake pan! I remember making them, years ago (sans ciggie), and they were cute, and delicious, and adorable.... *frown*

Oh heck, maybe I'll just make an Easter Basket cake again - or an Easter Egg cake - or maybe those cute Easter Egg brownie bites... Doesn't matter too much - if it's cake, the grandboys'll eat it. Nothing like feeding hockey players. Bet they'd love the Rogue Pac Man cake, though!

Viewing that last delectable item makes me want to yank that cigarette from the smoking lamb's mouth and smoke it myself.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChris

@KarateLady, thanks for the LOLs. They were needed.

@Meshybee, the small flags are Italian. The first color in a vertical stripe tricolor is always the one closest to the pole.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Is that last cake a Happy Easter vagina cake??? To quote George Takei, "Oh my!"!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNoey

For questions about the lamb thing at Easter:
Jesus is often call the Lamb of God, or _Agnus Dei_. When the Lamb of God is depicted, it is typically with that flag over one shoulder which has a form of a cross on it. It is related to the Jewish tradition of the Paschal lamb of Passover.

However, I have no idea about the smoking lamb. And, my mouth was agape at the stabbing of the lamb with the flags! lol What do pastors do to relieve stress during Holy Week (and other times...)? Cake Wrecks!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentera pastor

In Iceland and some parts of Scandinavian there is a late winter/early spring festival called Thorrablót, or Thorri feast, when hangikjöt (smoked lamb) is served. Smoked lamb is a bit difficult to find in the U.S., plus younger people, accustomed to milder meats, are unlikely to care much for smoked lamb. Bleck!

A cake lamb with a cigarette - a tongue-in-ckeek "smoked lamb" - is a nod to the tradition, and everyone will enjoy it.

Apparently only those of Icelandic origin will get the joke.

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenter~~Silk

Jodee -- the alarm cat didn't wake me up this morning -- my hubby's taking a couple of days off, and it's Spring Break, so we didn't have the back-up alarm on either. Then, when I got up, I looked at the first cake, and my brain just started going "whirr, click. whirr, click." So I fed the cat and went back to bed...

BTW: Haiku Joy's hubby, Mr. Haiku, just won an academic contest and a year's tuition -- so she's not the ONLY brilliant one in the family. Congrats to both of you!!!!!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The consternated brownie blobs look like Pac-Man ghosts to me ... and then I saw the Pac-Man cake. *snorfle*

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

All I can say is thank goodness the lambs don't have raspberry jam coming out of them like the ones I saw last year. Shrieking nightmares ensued lol. I kind of liked the pac-man going rogue. I would so eat that cake lol.

March 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I was just lamenting about a certain friend who is rather persistent in the "Easter is from a pagan holiday, you are choosing to have another god before you when you dye Easter eggs" discussion. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with a friend like that. :-)

(I wish I could unsee the last cake)

March 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLove2cookpie

Congratulations, Mr. Haiku!

March 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Hey, everybody, it's happened at last, HI IS RISEN!
Gotta get the word out quick, what to do, what to do?
Oh, look, let's make a sign out of these radioactive baguettes!

...see, the Cake tells a story! That makes no sense, but what the hey.

March 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShinnewn

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