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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar062013

Oh My, Fair Lady

OK, everyone! It's time to channel your best Eliza Doolittle!

 

All I want is a womb somewhere

(STAT!)

 

I wish you people wouldn't stare

(Excuse me! I'm gestating here!)

 

Maybe a slit right there?

Now, woooouldn't that be loverly?

 

There'll be leftovers you won't eat

(Hey! This cake was half off!)

 

Might I suggest a piece wif feet?

(Cannibalism goes down so much better when it's camouflaged.)

 

Moms are a tasty treat

("Mom-to-be gets the first slice!")

 

Aren't beeeeelly cakes just...


(hurk)

...loverly?

 

Wombfelt thanks to Chris W., Angela P., Dotty McK., Nurse Katie, Tia B., Jes R., and Sasha H., who really know how to deliver a great picture.

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Reader Comments (75)

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen

The people who made these cakes are sick (and I don't mean in the "cool" way)...

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlydia

I am very frightened now. I have never been so glad that my shower cake was just a white sheet cake and each piece had either a little pink or little blue frosting bootie on them. I thought it was slightly cheesy at the time. Now I know it was actually pretty tasteful!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNoey

The alien cake pretty much sums up how I feel about motherhood.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public." H. L. Mencken, author, wrote that about 75 years ago. Little did he know. These are the tackiest cakes have seen on this site, and I have seen almost all of them. It is a BABY shower, celebrating the BABY that is coming. If these tasteless people want to gross each other out, they should have Pregnancy Parties so those with weak stomachs can be forewarned and stay home. What's next? Belly birthday cakes to remind the birthday girl where she came from? You could put a full head of hair, and maybe even boobs on the emerging "baby." I am a baker, and I refuse to make belly cakes for showers.

I would, however, make the alien baby cake for Halloween!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

…and tasteful baby showers like these are excellent occasions for saying, "Thank you, no, I'd love a piece of that fabulous cake, but I can't. I'm allergic to wheat (or I'm celiac, or grain-free, etc.). Thank you so much, anyway. Really."

Score one for the wheat-free!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDB

I actually like the one that has the orange dress on. Pretty and tasteful IMO

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEm

These (with the possible exception of the cross-section, minus the bowel area) are all hurk-inducing in some fashion. That "swimmers" cake gave me the heebie-jeebies. I wonder who believes these cakes look appetizing to look at, much less contemplate the possibility of setting a knife to them. Disturbing, to say the least...

@Haiku Joy - Brilliant haiku today!

@Sharyn - Great post!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

How to make these pregnant torso, etc., cakes even more tasteless and scary: read this post just days after finding out one is pregnant with one's first child (and after having read some of the preliminary "what to expect, both good and bad" stuff)... Eek!
Oh, and I love(d) "Wouldn't It Be Loverly." Now I'll get nightmares whenever I hear it. Sigh.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

Oh.Dear.God.NOOOO!!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathie

The Alien cake is the perfect way to troll those tacky belly cakes.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlazypadawan

I don't make cakes.... Only eat them.... Well, not THESE, but you know.
So why is the orange one shiny, or slippery looking? It like like it has a coat of shellac on it. Is this a thing with cakes now?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSheri

@Annette: I am not ashamed to say that I like the cut of your jib. Bonus points for maniacal laughter after the unveiling!

(Of course, those who know me well enough to throw a baby shower for me would probably not insist on a belly cake anyway, because they'd know that I would do something exactly like that. I think they're on to me...)

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCelidah

Darn, I was busy today & missed the fun again! :-( As Anne-Marie has already said, EXCELLENT haiku today, Ms. Haiku :-) (Did you get suggestions from the Anatomy & Physiology dept? ;-)

...and fantastic parody, Ms. Sharyn! :-)

Off to comment on the Oreo post!!!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

#1--Why do the swimmers look, not like balloons, but more like worms? ew.
#2--What is she carrying? An Owl?
Anatomy cake--great call on that Haiku Joy. They cheated!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Dearest Sharyn, "Cannibalism goes down so much better when it's camouflaged."
That was inspired in the most proper and admirable meaning for that word. :)

Sadly, I must admit to adoring the alien cake. I'm not pregnant and I'd want that!! squeeeee

I refuse to admit the first cake exists. Nope. Nuh-uh. Not happening.
(craig, my dear, I know you're a busy man but we sincerely need that Unsee machine today. Interestingly, it seems we all have different reasons...)

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Yikes!! Just when you think it is safe to go to your bakery out come the baby shower cakes. Great form of birth control thanks again wreckerators lol.

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Lovely to see my cake here on cakewrecks. I was the absolutely delighted recipient of the alien chest(belly)burster cake. It made all nine months pregnant of me dance around when it came through the door. We still have a slice of boob and the alien in the freezer.

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSasha H

I think these are the worst belly cakes yet.

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

I have to admit, I'm not sure the sperm/egg cake, the biology diagram, and the baby Alien really count as wrecks in the same way as the others (I mean, if you have to have a belly cake, you might as well subvert the trope and make it a baby Alien belly cake!). They're too well made in a gross but kind of cool, geeky way!

I mean, I wouldn't want to eat them, but that's a matter of taste (and was presumably the choice of whoever ordered it). Just saying, execution-wise, the bakers did a decent job with them. :)

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNicky

All these comments, and no one has asked about cake #3: what is that pink thing next to the giant baby hand? Is it a leg? If so it's way out of proportion, and bent strangely. Same if it's a finger from the other hand. I'm going with a tentacle. What is this lady giving birth to?

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

@Nicky: It's true. I almost submitted the alien cake it as a Sunday Sweet because it wasn't unintentional. Also, credit where credit's due. The cake was made by Melanie Morales: http://meltamor.blogspot.com/. She did a fabulous job and the cake was very tasty.

My friends all knew exactly how serious I was taking the standard tropes of pregnancy, which is to say, not. This was the perfect antidote to all the preciousness surrounding the process.

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSasha H

LAUGHED OUT LOUD @ LMS (poop chute!!) AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Just proud to make it on CakeWrecks.com. Whatever you may think, I stand by my work and am proud of the Alien Chest(Belly)Burster Cake. Thank you Sasha and everyone with kind words, I appreciate it!

March 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMeltamor

That last one... so awesome. A wonderful spin on the genre of pregnant torso cakes.

March 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

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