My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Happy No Pants Day!

[Note: John says I have to put a little warning on today's post, so: warning.]


[running in]

Guys! It's No Pants Day*! Quick! TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!!

(*Or as we professional bloggers call it, "Friday.")

[ripping off velour track suit pants]


Now, I'm just going to plop down on the couch...


...and then I'm going to remember that our couch is leather. COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!


While I wait for the feeling to return to my lower half, let's take a look at some cakes that are also missing pants:

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess Susie likes cheetahs, Twilight, and black string licorice.


Remember, it's rude to stare.

Unless the cake starts it.




That awkward moment when you can't tell if your birthday cake is supposed to be a turn-on or an insult.


Oh, I just remembered: our friends across the pond call underwear "pants." Oops! Haha! Well, don't you worry, my friends: I've got you uncovered:

Just tell your kids it's a flower... growing out of a boulder... getting a shot in the a$$.



Thanks to Lisa M., Brandi H., Rinat, and Sarah F. for dancing with the devil in the full moon light. Now, who wants to pry me off this couch? Anyone? Anyone? Guys?


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Reader Comments (83)

The penisless Brit looks like my Uncle Ted.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee


May 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Pecs like a mesa.
This comes of isolation
exercies, bro.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

If you look just right - that second one could be Homer Simpson. :)

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElly

Is it just me or did anyone else see ET in that second cake?

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTracy W.

Sung to "Born Free"

Born free, so shed most of your clothes
And feel how the wind blows
Born free, and you look the part.

Live free, and no pants surround you
Your nipples astound, too.
For me, they're leaving brain scars.

Stay free, though some might deride you
You're showing off your backside
Like you've nothing to hide.

Born free, for ease of shot giving
Is that flower living?
Help. Me. Unsee!

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Ahhhhhhhh cake #2 is Homer Simpson!

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Cannot. Be. Unseen.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Is anyone else disturbed by the chimpanzee trying to push his way out of the second cake face-first?

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I am too seeing a monkey in cake #2. I think its the most disturbing cake of today's bunch.
Rorsharch test cakes are fun yet creepy.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmmyn

Okay, that last butt-cake with a dagger puncturing it has GOT to be explained; ANYONE???? The only good thing is that the price tag is 299 Yen= $2.99 . I guess that's a reasonable price for a horrid concept cake.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

I saw Homer Simpson immediately!

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

On second viewing, that "dagger" is really a hypodermic!!! The nurse must have had a really stressful day to have plunged the needle and dose cylinder THAT far into the patient's tushy.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

I think the second cake looks like someone who escaped from the original "Planet of the Apes" movie and was then run over by a steamroller, but not completely flattened.

The third and fourth cakes look like someone was looking for another use for their heart-shaped baking pans. Back to the drawing board, wreckerators!

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Yes, Amy, I too am disturbed.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana


That second one is either Gizmo the Mogwai, or one of the apes from Planet of the Apes.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Did I read that sign right o the last one? It looked like it cost 299 units of whatever currency that country uses. I hope that doesn't translate to much!

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

@ Amy! YES YES!!! I SEE IT!!!

And now I am going to go and cower in the corner...

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I'm still trying to figure out why cake #1 has a six pack on his pecs. Is that even possible?

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Cake #1 answers the question, "Why does a man have nipples?" (The answer is "because he would look ridiculous without them.")

#4 is blowing my mind because it's the second one of those I've seen on this site, which would imply that this type of cake is a cultural phenomenon on the level of smoking lambs. Incidentally, "going number 4" is a polite euphemism for defecating live sea anemones.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Okay that first cake looks like he has a praying mantis head stuck in his chest with black stuff on it. And now you can't unsee that. I'm sorry.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Folly

My first thought on the last cake was a raw turkey with its pop-out temperature probe.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjohn

Yep, I TOTALLY saw Homer Simpson in that Union Jack cake!! :-)

It took a minute for me to get the 'staring' comment. Now, I wish I hadn't.

And, if you must do a torso/butt cake, why must it be either pasty, living in the basement white or Jersey Shore faux tan orange? Neither is any more appetizing than the cake itself.

*Adds these to the list of types of cakes never to order/eat.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMyra

That second one is so totally Homer Simpson trying desparately to crawl out of a torso, all Aliens like.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

1) The first cake was obviously made for Johhny Cash's son....
2) When I look at the second cake I have a strange urge to phone home....
3) I think the third cake is a veterinarian's model of a camel's foot...or maybe just the toe...
4) And that last cake....something must have been lost in the translation..."I'd like it to look like the Sword in the Stone, but I know that's a pain in the a$$ to make..."

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

@Jen: "Unless the cake starts it" - ROTFL!!!!!! Best line of the week
@Sharyn: Awesome as always -- thank you
@John: I'm with you on that one

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Homer Simpson. Definitely Homer Simpson.
Is anyone else disturbed that the first stripper cake is for an 18 year old? Or am I just getting old?

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Sharyn and Haiku joy bahahaha

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

**scribbling furiously**
Dear Craig,
Please send portable un-see machines to all 4 corners of the world (and 1 through the worm hole to @Haiku Joy) STAT!
Your biggest fan

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGossamer

@Sirlaffsalot Thank you! Glad someone else saw it too.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTracy W.

I see Homer Simpson. And I see E.T. And a chimpanzee. I see pretty much everything *except* what the cake was intended to be. How is that possible? I am in awe of the amount of Wreckitude it takes to put out a cake that looks like everything but what it's supposed to be. Can they do it consistently? 'Cause I might just order one.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

You know, they eat that part of the pig in France. I think they call it a "rosette", or something poetic like that.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwordphreak

So, are we 100 percent sure the brit is not actually a girl? maybe a pregnant gymnast girl?

I mean, there are no genitals under that union jack. and the breasts are a little perky, I'd say she's about 3-4 months along, but then there's the strange abs- hmmmm.... this is a very tough one. I can't stop staring.

And while I'm at it, I think the first cake, if you cover the bottom half, looks more like a bad case of scoliosis on someone's back.... but then the genitals wouldn't be in front. Hmmm. again- very confusing.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergender confusion

@jackwire, for my 16th birthday my older sister got me a Chippendale's poster. My mom was horrified but I hung it on my wall right by my Kirk Cameron posters o.O

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@TLC: That explains cake #2, exactly.

@Naomi: HA! I am thoroughly glad I never drink anything while reading this blog! "Going number 4..." HA!

I would comment on the cakes, but after that second one was staring at me (also my co-worker is *whispering* right there behind me), I quickly scrolled right past the rest (unfortunately, I did get a glimpse of what Sir Laffsalot described as a particular part of the camel's anatomy).

@Jen: Cheetahs, Twilight and black licorice! Hee! *whips out the crow bar* Let's see if we can get you off that couch with all of your skin intact...What, John(thoJ)? Hey, give that crow bar back. I need it to...wait...I'm just trying to help... *front door slams in face* WELL! You just can't do a good deed anymore. Perhaps I should have gone with the scissors, instead...

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Why am I seeing a Furby in that second cake?

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlex K.

Cake 2 - I would swear it's Homer Simpson frozen in carbonite. :-)

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

Evidently, nothing - and I DO MEAN NOTHING - says "Happy Whatever" like an "Imminent Chest-Burster" cake... I say we take off and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

You're all wrong about cake #2, sorry. It's actually Dr. Cockroach from Monsters vs. Aliens. Seriously.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

If you look at the pecs/abs on the British cake right (wrong?) you can kinda see Homer Simpson's face. Don't quite think that's what they were going for...

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Thank you for the last one, I was confused because they all did indeed have their pants on!

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittlefox

Dear @"Gossamer",

Done. BTW, is that an Incredibles reference in your close?

I'm sure the makers / recipients of 3 & 4 don't want to be the butt of any asinine jokes, so I'll just back on out of here.

@jackwire, you are not alone.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Oh, the Tom Daley cake just made me cringe so badly! I'd much sooner have seen the Homer Simpson face everyone else saw first!

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClare

That second cake reminded me of Pherb, from Finneas & Pherb. Perhaps I watch too many shows with my kids.....

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

Just what is that second cake. If you told me it was supposed to be female, I'd believe that, too. The sort-of-six-pack abs don't make it male, nor does the g-string. Those could totally be a woman's boobs.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStevenHB

Help! The cake DID start it! Why did they cut the nips out to the size of dinner plates?!

My EYES!!!! Aaaargharghblarggggle!

OK, the uglylaughtillyoucry thing at work isn't a good put the manless cake down and back away slowly...btw, is it me or is the chest hair roosting on the 6-pack on one of those?

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShonna

Yep, I'm a Brit and was all agog, only to remember halfway down the page that in America 'pants' means 'trousers' and not men's underwear. By the way, does anyone else see the monkey in cake no.2 ?

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbritjap

I totally saw Homer

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShonna

Shirley - it's Chinese Yuan, not Japanese Yen, which means anyone who bought it was shelling out rather a lot comparitively.

May 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

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