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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun072013

DONUT TEST ME, MAN

In honor of National Donut Day, I give you: 

13 Ways To Wreck a Perfectly Good Donut

(Because what are donuts, really, except small, holey cakes? That are deep-fried? I rest my case.)

 

1) Add poop:

 

2) Add poop with a worm crawling out of it:

 

3) Or a worm crawling out of... um... these things:

 

4) Put One Freaky Eye On It:

("I'm meeeel-ting!")


5) Put Four Freaky Teeth On It:

 

6) Make it angry:

 

7) Make it scary:

(Then tell kids it's the Easter Bunny.)

 

8) Make it confusing:

(Wha...?)


9) Glue a bunch together with frosting and call it a "donut cake."

(Hang on, what fresh abomination is this?)

 

10) Or stack them and call it a "wedding cake."

OY.

 

11) Misspell it:

S-U-A! S-U-A!

 

12) Or do this to it:

Ick.

 

13) Or, if all else fails, this:

"I'm sorry, but could I get a little more frosting on this? And maybe another waffle cone? With a cream pie on top? And some Gummi Bears? And one of those King Cakes? And then wrap it in a few dozen pancakes? Yeaaaah, that'd be greeeeeat."

 

Thanks to April R., Amy N., Susanna C., Ashley W., Aubrey L., Janet V., Sarah B., Malisa I., Jennifer S., Rachel K., Carol G., Sheriden C., & Rivit, and no, I won't make you one of those, because a girl's got to have standards. Plus I'm fresh out of King Cakes.

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Reader Comments (112)

Correction on that last (per Huz): sugar cone, not waffle.
Yeah, my days at the ice cream shop @ UCF (go knights) have served me well.

June 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEm Johnston

http://mentalfloss.com/article/50979/17-extreme-donuts-look-theyll-kill-you

June 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPinkie Pie

I am embarrassed enough to say I recognize donuts 2, 3, 4, 6, and 12. I used to work as a large chain store bakery manager that "specialized" in what they called "fun kid donuts!" While most of the donuts in those pictures are messy, that is the "corporate standard" design for those donuts. Horrifying! Cake or yeast donuts with puddles of cake icing in the middle with gummy worms or bears poking out. Caterpillars (twist donuts with colorful icing and eyes and a smiling mouth) were in my nightmares! Needless to say even though these donuts were marketed to children, most kids steered clear of them.

June 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

@sendingtheclowns: Whether or not I've been fishing for them, I would never turn down a Twinkie. Thank you kindly. :)

@Craig: A friend of mine is a Chocodile-holic. I'm pretty sure he still has a bunker full of Chocodiles. Now, the trick is to get him to share...

June 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Number 7 reminds me of Donnie Darko. And that ain't ok.

June 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyghtpet

I see Frank. "You have 28 days."

July 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarrion

This page currently has tears running down my face from laughing so hard! I just discovered this page, thanks for the giggles.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPokey1984

Not surprisingly, the blue smurf poop is no more appetizing than the regular stuff.

July 2, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

I'll take 'em all (assuming that's only chocolate and not something else - heh), just don't tell my dentist or my waistline. ;)

July 2, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pear Lady

At least they didn't they to make them emulate a maxi pad...

July 2, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterconnicka

It was just pointed out to me that #11 might not be misspelled, just a V that looks like a U . The Student Veterans of America or S.V.A., is a national organization that helps veterans and they're families go to college.

July 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Very strange stuff.

July 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Saxon

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