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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul102013

South Korean Shell Game

Wreckporter Carrie was recently in South Korea with the military, and though the commissary there served American-style cakes, she was afraid the language barrier might pose a problem. So when the time came to order her son's birthday cake, Carrie left nothing to chance. First she ordered an edible image to place on the cake herself - thereby eliminating the possibility of misspellings or botched artwork - and then she called up the bakery to ask for a plain sheet cake.

"I told her I had an edible image I was going to place on the cake," Carrie writes, "so I just wanted a yellow and blue border, with white frosting on the top of the cake. [The baker] asked what kind of border pattern I would like, and I said scalloped was fine, but anything would do."

Fool-proof, right?

Oh, come on, it's not like you're reading Cake Successes right now.

Yes, my friends, those two swirly-haired Jacks from Nightmare Before Christmas are, in fact, the baker's interpretation of a "scalloped border."

As in scallops.

And this just might be my new favorite misunderstanding EVER.

 

To Carrie's credit, she really made the best of things; she told her son the scallops were "the wheels left by the bad guy after Bumblebee took care of him." Ha!

A birthday story for the ages, and all it cost her was two clams.

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Reader Comments (40)

I"m glad Carrie wasn't "shellfish" and was willing to share this wreck with us!

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

I'm glad she didn't order a "grass" border.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

At least this happened in a foreign nation with its own language and traditions.
Had Carrie ordered her son's cake here in the good old USofA where proper English is insisted upon (well somewhat expected, okay-hoped for,) it may have been worse.
Much, much worse.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

It's a pity they made the scallops black. If they had been a lighter color she might have been able to scrape them off.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

Well, at least this one had the excuse of being in a foreign country and a language barrier. And it's a wreck that's easily explained to the guests, and did not render the cake so unappetizing as to be nearly inedible.

Had this happened in the good ol' U S of A, I would have said something fishy is going on.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

SuBee, I thought the same thing!

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMyra

I've seen worse done by Americans :/

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Mmmmm...I just love scallops....BUT, nothing on that thing looks like one.Those whatever-y things DO make me think of SOMETHING, though...Oh, YEAH! Wilma Flintstone's hairdo. That's it! IF they were reddish-orange... and on Wilma Flintstone's head. And one would be more than enough. Eh--I'll bet Lucas loved the Bionicle thingy and ate the cake & didn't even care. He's FIVE, and that's CAKE!
=^u.u^=

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Jen - I love you! Ignore the a$$hats with their ignorant negativity. They have nothing better to do than suck at life, which is pretty sad. Hope to read you on Epbot again soon! <3

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

At least they didn't put actual scallops on the cake. They go nicely with bacon, but not so well with frosting, I would imagine.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlexa

Good thing Carrie wasn't crabby.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

That might be the most interesting white frosting on top I have ever seen!
And now... Fluffy Haiku!

Cake in Korea
Won't share much of anything
It is two shellfish

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I love it. And look at the actual yellow border! It's actually quite pretty. And the piping on the scallops is just about perfect too. At least these folks know how to decorate - next time I'd just tell them to do something pretty and see what they come up with.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I'm kinda digging the Jacks under the edible design. She should have told Lukas it was a two-fer cake with both Transformers AND Nightmare Before Christmas.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Nice save Carrie! Now you'll have a whale of a tale to tell Lukas when he's all grown up!

Is it just me or does the actual scalloped border look a little wonky?

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Jen - I second Amanda's comment. Hope you have a restful vacation from the many everyday things that you do so well and return soon feeling infinitely better. I think I speak for many of us in saying that we've all been there at one point or another. Best wishes! :)

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

Also, isn't the cake a bit too big for the image? (And isn't there a comma missing from the image itself? But that's not baker's fault.)

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkt

Those black outlines look like abalone shells, not scallops.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTL

Fluffy Cow - "two shellfish"... Snortle...

On the plus side, they're nicely done shellfish, and the border is very pretty, and nothing looks like poop.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Actually it's a pretty decent try at scallops. I love Mom's expaination-it's so creative.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

@ Alexa:
Hmmmm....you've almost got me curious, now...I LIKE odd combinations, and have found that some things I'd have never dreamed would go together actually DO. (For instance:orange marmalade and packaged onion soup mix are wonderful on broiled chicken. A friend told me about it and I didn't believe her, but I tried it and loved it.) But, those things up there look a little more like oysters than they do scallops-- to me, anyway...if I had to choose...Oh, forget it!!--I could put toss that thing on the floor and my cats would use it as a litter box in a heartbeat!
=^>.<^=

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I first read this post on my phone and couldn't see the picture, and I spent a few minutes thinking they actually stuck scallops--as in seafood--to the side of the cake. By the time I saw the image it didn't seem all that bad compared to, you know, fish pieces on a cake.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertiffanized

Before I read the Nightmare comparison, I thought they looked like two Oogie Boogie's from said movie.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMy Goodness

I hope no one here is allergic. Looks like we have a shellfish pun advisory in the bunker. : D

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Just Andrea - As it happens, Scallop puns are the one variety of shellfish pun to which I AM allergic.

Which might explain the sudden swelling and itchiness in my funny bone, now that I think about it...

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Now everyone will think poor Bumblebee is bivalve-curious.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Scallops! Ha! That's hilarious!

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Before I saw the picture, I thought it would end up with actual scallops all around the edges of the cake. In the States, it might have.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

I think this one is quite adorable! I love the happy scallops :)

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Unfortunately for Carrie, an order for veal escallope* came in at the same time, and the two orders somehow got conflated. If you think cake and scallops is a bad combination, try white frosting on veal (chocolate is much better). No, I don't know why a military commissary would be producing veal anything -- it's just what I came up with, ok?

*According to an informed source, two ells is a valid alternate spelling.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Jen, we love you. Enjoy your break. Say hi to the real world for us.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbrenda

I was actually pleasantly surprised when I saw the cake. Based on the build-up, I expected real (possibly live--definitely raw) scallops on the border. Doesn't look too bad to me. LOL

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

It would have been great if it had actual scallops while the decorator was thinking, "WOW, Americans eat really strange food!"

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

"bivalve curious" !!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commentershannon

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ohh Boy, did y'all have some good comments today! And I agree, Jen, this is probably everyone's new favorite misinterpretation cake. Heeheehee. I'm glad Lukas's mom was able to convince him it was just part of the design & he wasn't disappointed. I love my boy, but sometimes he drives me crazy with his inflexibility & tantrums when things don't go his way (like when the bowling alley won't redeem our free games cuz the free lanes are all taken). If I could just figure out *why* he's inflexible *when* he's inflexible, life would be sooo much easier. (Yes, not getting to bowl is obvious, but sometimes it's a total mystery!) This cake might have blown my kid's top if I couldn't explain those scallops to him, which makes me glad it's not our cake! :-)

July 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Lol it could have been a lot worse. At least the cake looks edible and not something that would scare you away from ever eating cake again. Love Bumblebee :D.

July 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I'll bring the bacon for wrapping the scallops and meet y'all in the bunker...hopefully Theardare isn't allergic to scallops.

July 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

I'm living in Seoul now and I think it is cute. I thought for a second they would put scallops on it they love seafood. They have some interesting combinations here. Like sugar coated garlic bread, chocolate coated barbecue chips, and sugar sprinkles for your salad. (Yes, the little star and heart sugar sprinkles.)

July 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLianne

I'm with Ginger--I was expecting raw seafood guts festooning the cake (I took Marine Biology once and haven't been able to eat a raw clam since). Other than that fact that the scallops are badly placed, I really like the way they're drawn. I think in this country if someone had wanted actual drawings of scallops for an "Under the Sea" theme, they would have gotten the piles-'o-poo look.

July 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Jen! Two days in a row! I'm thrilled to have you back. You know those slow-motion running toward the long-lost-dog scenes at the end of a movie that has made you cry for a solid hour because no one should ever go through losing their dog? That's how I feel right now.

July 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMoose

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