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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan172014

Freaky Friday

Today we've got TWO unusual holidays to celebrate - so that means twice the cakey goodness, haha! John even did the research and put together a little slideshow for us, so let's get right to it. What've we got first, John?

Oh.

Um... well... ohhh kaaaay.

[deep breath]

Happy International Fetish Day, everyone!

[pause]

 

John, why did you put a... is that a banana? Ok, a banana. Why did you ... I mean, what kind of fetish...

You know what, let's just move on.

Wow, looks like George really IS curious.
(You cheeky lil' monkey, you!)

 

I have to say, John, you've really managed to find some fun cakes for International Fetish Day.
Nothing scary here at all!

AAAUUUGGHH!!

***

[climbing back into chair]

Not that... Not that there's anything WRONG with a... clown... fetish. Clowns are wonderful characters. Very colorful. Very, er... squeaky.

NEXT!

Thank you, John, but I'm not sure everyone really needs to know the plastic dinosaur is spring action.

 

Huh. Yeah, I guess I could see this one.

 

NO.
Just... NO.

(I don't care how much research you did, John, this is not cool.)

 

Listen, John, wasn't there another holiday today, too? Can't we just skip ahead to that one?

Ah.

Well, I guess we should have seen that coming.

Happy Judgement Day, everyone!

 

Thanks to Alexandra S., Julia W., Heather A., Jed C., Farhee, Theresa S., & Nathan M. And yes, it really is both International Fetish Day and Judgement Day - just not THE Judgement Day. I hope.

So... cake?

*****

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« Sunday Sweets: Pretty as a Peacock | Main | What The Frosting? »

Reader Comments (59)

Check your calendars
for when it's Judgement Day and
Judgement Day Observed.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

But there IS another holiday today!

MY BIRTHDAY!!!

OK, who's bringing me a cake? :)

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAshley P

@mel? I had no idea.

Speaking of fetishes (fetishi?) I have that exact rolling-action Jesus sitting on my desk as I type. When not passing judgement on me, he likes to hang out with his best friend, Bendy Elvis. He has been a major part of many family celebrations, including birthdays, but I never let him hold the candles. I'm glad he has something to look forward to this year!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

This post is wrong on so many levels, but that's what makes is so funny. Love it!

On an unrelated note -
Haiku Joy, have you seen this? I thought of you immediately when I saw the article. http://daily.sightline.org/2013/12/16/the-entire-ipcc-report-in-19-illustrated-haiku/

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKris10

Sung to "Java Jive"

I love coffee, I love tea
I love banana guys and they love me [eyebrow waggle]
What's that I see, it's a tied-up monkey
What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong with me?
I love clown cakes -- man, they're hot
I didn't need to know the dino popped.
Duck Dynasty and a pooping pony...
What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong with me?...

(Wait a minute! Now I did it...)

Looks like judgement's come for me
I'm gonna burn for all eternity
Won't try to flee, I'll have a slice or three
They've come, they've come; they've come, they've come for me...

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Ashley I wish I could-my sister makes yummy non wrecky chocolate cake :)). Haiku joy bwahahaha. As for those cakes i'd hate to see the type of people they attract O_o

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

So mel's a Brony -- aaaaaand another piece of the puzzle! ;) (Nice pooflowers, by the way.)

It looks like Curious George got a little tooo into 50 Shades. What will the man in the yellow hat say? And as for those clowns, I know some guys who would be quite jealous of the one on the right.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

@SuBee Where did you get your Jesus from? (Not a question I ever thought I'd ask!) I have a Christ Buddy in my car (name that movie) who watches over my driving, but I could use one for future Judgement Day celebrations....would there be more than one chance to celebrate, I wonder....

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

It's judgment day? This cannot be good for us heathens.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1031794101/the-outernet

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

I admit it...I guffawed at the My Little Pony cake. Very well done, but someone needs to fetch Rarity there some Pepto Bismol.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

I lived my whole life believing My Little Ponies and unicorns pooped rainbows! Well, chocolate frosting works for me, too. Pass me a slice, please! LOL

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

My Little Pony
poops on the pretty meadow.
My childhood ruined

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSueLou

Happy Birthday, Ashley!
@Haiku Joy-Another one of your creations is going up on my wall. I'm running out of room!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

So a client is driving me nuts and I have not slept for more than 24 hours. And yet, I come to Cake Wrecks, and I can still laugh.

LOVE the clowns with candles! And on Mel's cake: aren't those just the cutest little poo drops you've ever seen?

Thanks, Jen, for the break from cursing and crying!!!!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Happy Birthday Ashley P! SuBee, the fact that the Jesus rolls (a Holy Roller!) makes that cake even funnier! You should write a book on the exploits of rolling Jesus and bendy Elvis!

Oh dear, if today is judgment day I'd better start repenting quickly! I'll be in the corner murmering prayers until further notice. Or, until there's cake!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I guess spelling judgment wrong is now totally acceptable. No judgment here, of course


[Editor's note- Technically, "judgement" is the correct spelling in British English and, since we don't know where the cake was made, we can't say it was spelled incorrectly. Add to that that the British had the language first and we really should assume that the American molestation of the word, "judgment," is, in fact, wrong. Now if anyone needs me, I'll be at the theatre in the town centre. Maybe I'll pay with a cheque. -john (the hubby of Jen)]

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSbaby

MLP poops. I had no idea.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

I have a wall? My life, she is complete.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Kris10, thank you for pointing out this worthy project to me.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sbaby, I didn't even notice that misspelling on "judgment" til you pointed it out! What's even worse is that I checked to see if they spelled it the way I sometimes wrongully type it (as "judgement") and then I guess I just stopped there and didn't read on to the end of the word! Yikes. I'm an attorney and, instead of constantly mis-typing it the way I have been, maybe I should switch to "judgmants," just for variety's sake!

Oh, and Haiku Joy, you made me laugh out loud! Today's' offering is one of my favorites.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

There once was a clown from Nantucket...

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLucy

Chocolate poo swirls that are SUPPOSED to be poo!

That's a rarity :)

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermmmm!

@Caroline B - Rolling Action Jesus was a gift from a friend. I have no idea where she found him. I'm assuming he descended from somewhere. BTW, I love Buddy Christ (Dogma) and I covet your dashboard version.

@Jodi-I'm looking for a publisher.

@Sbaby-According to Grammarist, "In American English, judgement is generally considered a misspelling of judgment for all uses of the word, notwithstanding individual preferences. In British popular usage, judgment was traditionally the preferred form, but judgement has gained ground over the last couple of centuries and is now nearly as common as judgment."

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Is that a banana on your cake or are you happy to see me?

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

Happy Fetish Day (to the tune “Getting to Know You”)

Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you,
Getting to like you
Do you like pee?

Getting to know you
Doing it my way
Not so nicely
I am precisely
The Dominatrix for thee

Getting to know you
Finding out neat things about you
Getting to like you
Because you’re fun like me

Getting to know you
Wanna play clown? It’s easy!
When I am with you
I’ll get down on my knee-sy

Haven’t you noticed
Suddenly I’m bright and breezy?
Because of all the fun things we do
Things that I’m loving about you
Day…by…day….

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Boy Blue

Random thoughts on Fetish Day….

I love a banana,
They have such a great a-peel
And when I see one,
I often squeal!

Curious George, upside down
Wants to be spanked by a “happy” clown
I think he’s gonna get his wish,
See him smiling, switch, switch switch….

Happy clowns with candles high
Coulrophobia? I see why….

Dinosaur and bones and poop,
Such an appetizing group…

Bearded folk from the bayou
In your dreams will make cry you….

Won’t you be my Pony girl?
Come on, let’s give this thing a whirl!
Here’s a saddle (you’ll have to stoop)
Now let’s ride around in poop…

It looks like we are near the end,
Happy Fetish Day, my friends!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSkewed View

That one thing up there looks like it says "Judgmants" Day. It's getting really annoying trying to decipher this crap.The wreckorators should have mandatory bagmanship testing before being hired to be bag-pipers. (No, not that kind.) Now I think I want a drink. =^e.e^=
Oh--and Hi, Craig! I think saw you post late last night! Or maybe I was sleep-surfing...(?)

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@SuBee: I don’t know who leaked…and that’s a good word for today’s celebration…that picture. And I don’t know why there’s poop there: I said very clearly “I want sprinkles”….. (lol…you’re too funny, SuBee!)
@Zippy: hahaha....Speaking of Bronies, since I play Santa during the Christmas season I always scan the toy catalogues and toy sections of stores beforehand so I know what the kids are talking about when they ask for things for Christmas. Bratz and Monster High dolls were “old” compared to the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls dolls…complete with pony ears. Raggedy Anne must be spinning in her toy box……

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@Drockbox: as Taro Gomi's book says, "Everyone Poops"....

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

All those fetish cakes NEED to be Terminated. Just sayin'.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Is it just a shadow, or did they actually make the frosting coming out of Rarity to make it look like she's actually pooping? Nasty.

And @Caroline B- Pick me! Pick me! I know! Dogma!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

ok, what's the message with that my little pony cake. where she poops, grass grows?

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I believe for every chunk of dung that falls
        A flower grows,
I believe when something in the longest grass
        Offends my nose,
Every time I see a newborn pony poop,
Or take a leak, or loop the loop,
Then I must whoop,
        'I believe!'

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

@Caroline B: Duh, "Dogma"--and it's 'Buddy Christ'.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Poor Rarity. It would make more sense if there were hats on that cake instead of poop.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

How is it nobody is really noticing that "judgment" is misspelled? No E on the end of the judge would be correct. Why, I don't know. It has always seemed like it SHOULD be there!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaye

Actually, both "judgement" and "judgment" have defenders as acceptable spellings: http://www.dailywritingtips.com/judgement-or-judgment/

No matter how you spell it, though, I judge these cakes to be a riot. Especially the extra-scary clown cakes. :-D

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMiz Ducky

Unicorns poop rainbows. Everybody knows that! Well, except for wreckerators apparently.

CRAIG!!!!!!!!!!!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

And tomorrow is No T-Rex day!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKinipayla

The comments are killing me!! I too thought unicorns poop rainbows (and sprinkles!). I am so sad now.

"Repent! The Kingdom of Heaven IS at hand."
"You ain't just whistling Dixie."

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershannon

"We were going to give you a pony for your birthday Mel.... but then we realized they poop. A LOT. And we just figured you should know that too.. Also Ponies shouldn't eat spicy street vendor food...."

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

@Shanon-CLUE!!!!

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWildDuck

As an Episcopal priest, I find your "We should have seen that coming" caption on the Judgment Day cake absolutely hilarious because of the layers of funniness (like Shrek, or an onion ...) in light of:
"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." – Matthew 24:42-44

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNSpringer

So where's the cucumber cake?

I think that monkey belongs on the "I am curious King Kong" cake...

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah B.

Rarity, no! Looks like somepony's got the trots. D:

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChromaggia

Rarity's literally sh***ing on your b'day cake. what are you going to do about it? cry? yeah that's what she wants.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterscootaloo

@SueBee & @CarolineB -- Well, if you use Jen's handy dandy link to Amazon (above) They have Rolling Jesus (or "Accoutrements Jesus Action Figure" as He is called there... :)

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLissy

I can't believe anyone would do that pony one. They're supposed to be accidental.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah T

@wildduck- yes! So glad someone got it!

I've seen the Jesus figure on Archie McGhee website. Besides, its just a fun site to surf.

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershannon

"Who'd like a slice of Uncle Si's beard?"

January 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlazypadawan

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