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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
May102014

Just In Time For Mother's Day: Ten Uterus Cakes

This Mother's Day, why not surprise mom with something REALLY surprising?

"It's supposed to be a uterus.

"SURPRISE!!"

 

Yep, what could thrill Momther more than an edible version of the thing you broke on your way out? (Er...sorry again about that, Mom.) And since uteri come in so many flavors (ew), here are nine more "inspirational" uterus cakes to really get those creative juices flowing. (Ewwwwsorry.)

 

Evil jester laughs at your feeble attempts to serve ice cream:

See it? SEE IT??

 

Hunchbacked Basketball Player Can Dribble No Longer:

Aw. Playa' got served.

 

Bullwinkle? Is that you?

Ok, while I agree with Bonnie Burton that everything really is better with googly eyes, I still have to draw the line at making letters out of staples. Yowch.

 

"But, Oh-Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and-Random-Sprinkles" you're saying, because you're finally using my proper title, "What I REALLY want to see is a tiny cake crawfish inside a cake uterus!"

Well, ok, but only because you asked politely.

What's that? You want two slices? Yeesh. You're so shellfish.

 

Hey, remember that time when Dobby from Harry Potter tried to stifle a really, really big sneeze?

"Accio CHOOIEE!!"

(I know; that was a real "light bulb moment" for me, too.)

 

Gosh, all this pink is getting kind of monotonous, don't you think?

Here, this should help:

And that's how everyone learned that Jeannie was actually born a Smurf.

 

And now, a little "poetry:"

Q: "Why did the lady blush during her sonogram?"

A: "Because she saw a fallopian!"

***

***

Ahem.

 

Some people give their uterus a cute little pet name:

(I'm seeing a cross between a Snork and a Fraggle. Please tell me I'm not the only one.)

Lola? Aw, that's sweet.

I bet Crampy McClots-a-Lot could kick Lola's butt.

 

And finally, the balloon-animal uterus you never knew you needed:

You know, I never thought I'd like a uterus cake, but I've really taken a shine to this one.

 

Thanks to Laura A., Anony M., Erica O., Tanya S., Isabella, Dawn M., Sarah M., Nicki R., Sarah U., & Shelley T. for all the pro-creations.

« Sunday Sweets: Just For You, Mom! | Main | Word To Your Mathar »

Reader Comments (55)

I am speechless in a grossed out kind of way!!!!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheresaEH

Hey, nobody said having a baby was going to be a piece of cake...

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

OhMuh GAWD. This is so unbelievably tasteless (pun intended)! I can't stop laughing! Please make it STOP!!!!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterimqtpi

Gotta be careful around those tunneling crawdads. Yeee-owch!

Okay, I adore those little pink carnation-looking cupcakes. I think they are Sunday-worthy.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

My monitor got washed at "and that's how everyone learned Jeannie was actually born a smurf"

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

Yep, I saw the title in my blog roll and thought: "Dear heaven, no...."

Yet, like a car accident, I had to look, just as I looked at the foot post from earlier this week (and regretted it).

This isn't quite as bad but still...

A uterus that looks like a thong???

And that last one -- is it made of vinyl, or pleather?

I don't want to be seen as "hysterical", but if this is a trend, I'll hold on to my uterus, thank you very much!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

Mommy? Where do crawfish come from??

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Awww, I miss the Snorks! It was on right after Shirt-Tales, I believe!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNiki

That last one is "ribbed for your pleasure." EWWWW.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCindee

Good god. Can you imagine the "anatomically correct" cakes they will have for Father's Day?

(uhhh, on second thought, let's not go there)

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLetterman

It's nice to see Jeannie's IUD, too. Smurfy.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterduckgrl

FYI, most of these cakes are "send-offs" for women going in for a hysterectomy. Namely, the basketball player, the Bullwinkle & the Harry Potter (Flo's fired). Because, you don't lose your uterus when you give birth! Jus' sayin'... =-)

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTara

A cake to 'celebrate' a hysterectomy or menopause? Why dear God? Why???!!!??

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKarla With A 'K'

Does anyone else see that that blue one has an IUD?

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

The pink one with the flowers and cupcakes looks like pigtet and the last one looks like lobster

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScarrette

When I saw the bull winkle comment I laughed til I peed my pants.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

I think there's been a slight misconception. Only 1 and 2 are actual Mother's Day cakes (and I'm not so sure about the first one). 3, 4, 6, and 9 are hysterectomy cakes (maybe that's why they are so funny?), 5 is a visual aid for a biology class, 7 is -- well, is it for Jeannie's birthday or the day that Jeannie gave birth?, 8 is a light bulb (a really pretty, frilly light bulb), and 9 is a retirement cake for a professor of ob/gyn.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDrQ

The first one looks like a floating dress. The last one looks like a shiny thong. Shuddering about that other one I refuse to think about.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Um...these look like hysterectomy cakes, perhaps? I had two kids and I still have my uterus.
I don't think I'm unusual, either!
That said, GROSS! Cakes with internal organs on them! Bleahhh!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteremily

These are *hysterical*! Get it? Hysterical? You know, from the Greek word for uterus, hystera? Come on, folks, nerd up! The origin of the word "hysteria" is based on the belief that women would become anxious because their uteri weren't attached to anything and could appear anywhere in their bodies (and sometimes on a cake, apparently). I admit that seeing my uterus show up in random places would cause me to become a bit hysterical, too. Glad they found a cure for that.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

wait! wait! Let's all take a moment to appreciate that the blue uterus cake actually has an IUD (!!!!) in it! Not sure what comment they were trying to make about Jeannie's birth control choices with that one...

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterwhitney

I just want to publicly thank all my wonderful friends and family for *not* getting me a cake for my hysterectomy... o_O

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterhuskiebear

O M G these were really created on purpose? So scary! Like the feet I couldn't look away. Love your descriptions and jokes.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

did anyone else see the red '3' above the cake that looks like it's out of a textbook?

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterperri

Will there be Penis cakes for Father's Day? (or as we like to call it - Falker Satherhood)

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Crampy McClots-a-lot... Bwahahahaaaa

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

SATURDAY!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The first one looks like a trophy, first price for ???
the sad :( on the third cracked me up, and your Dobby comment made the M&M's dribble down my chin! (btw, thank you for that in the name of my daughters)
The happy Snaggle *you're not the only one* Thanks for this great weekendstarter!
(oh, maybe you should put a X-rate, not suitable for children and work warning on top... I mean, come on, uterusses??)

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMiriam

i wish i'd thought to make a cake for myself before my hysterectomy. these are a riot! i could have done at least as well, i think.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdawn

For the love of birth control, why is there an IUD in the Smurf uterus? I guess that's how Smurfette really made sure there was never another girl Smurf!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaryC

Lola is totally a Snork/Fraggle cross. And I just don't know what to make of that last one.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTari C

Hey now... naming something makes it easier to hate! I actually named my fibroid "Sven" and was happier thank Cake Boss with a spatula yelling at his sisters when I had it yanked! Sven caused me SOOOOOO many problems, heck.. the "eviction" was the easy part! I wish someone would have made me a cake for THAT. hehehe

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBlackWidowNor

Lola looks a bit like Cartman's Sea People from South Park.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpersephone

Sitting here recovering from that very surgergy! This is not helping my Cheezits stay down!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

This is gross. . . when would a cake like this EVER be appropriate and WHO would actually agree to make one? Ick, ack, ugh!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVic

The ovary on the right side of the last photo looks like Audrey II from "Little Shop of Horrors." Quite appropriate, I think, since the wreckerators clearly wanted to scare the daylights out of us all.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterYayForGirlParts

The "balloon animal" one made me laugh, because one of my cramp descriptions is "a sadistic clown broke into my house and twisted my uterus into a poodle." :-D

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSailorZeo

Lola's so cute!!!!!!!!!1

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDolphin

O! No...... ;-)

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSerins

In that last cake, does the ovary on the right have teeth? If so, WHY?!!?

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterclue less noob

Yeah, the cakes are kinda gross, but I gotta admit, I was ready to do some major celebrating after being liberated from my uterus. There must be some kind of drinking game I haven't heard of, but I would've settled for a cake--I was just so thrilled to have that thing out of my body.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaptain's Girl

In the 'Verse, that last cake is definitely not "shiny".

(Please let someone get that reference)

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Ah - the Dr Karl uterus cake. (Im)famous among listeners to Australia's Radio JJJ.

Dr Karl won an Ignoble Prize for his research into belly button fluff.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGrannyBean

That last one is how I'd imagine the Alien Queen's ovaries look in "Alien Resurrection." And they might produce little prawn-like offspring like cake #5. Of course in pink, because all mothers, even insect/human hybrid alien mothers who skewer people on a regular basis love pink.

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

You know, I actually just had a hysterectomy three weeks ago. I'm so very glad that no one got me a cake like this. Seriously. ewww.

May 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDeagh

About this uterus cake trend, may I just say, 'EWWWWWWWW!"

May 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

This post made me gag, and I basically dissect animals for a living. YIKES

May 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

The red one looks like a lobster haha.

May 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

Jeanie' s blue uterus kind of looks like a lamb... And then there's the Iron Man helmet...

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

As this is my first mother's day and my uterus is still recovering from expelling my darling baby boy, this post really speaks to me. In a very creepy sort of way.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSabs

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