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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May062014

National Teacher Apprication Day

Educators of the world, get those hankies out.

Because this...[dramatic pause]...is your story.

Yes, every year you need some good "louck" as you embark upon that harrowing journey:

Back "toschol."

 

Here you will continue on for an indeterminate amount of time.

"4" more...years?
Sure, let's go with that.

 

During this time, you will expand your students' cultural horizons:

Perhaps by "celabrating" the mythical continent of "Afraicia."

 

You will "suport" your prep times:

(While grading the staff room cakes in your spare time.)

 

And, of course, you will strive to instill a love of reading into your young charges:

Not to mention their "comunity."

 

Until one day, the unthinkably terrifying will occur.

Your students will turn 18.

 

Yes, you've ushered another generation into adulthood!

"Yu dib it!!!"

 

And your reward?

(One baker, two cakes, two different mistakes.)

 

Now you can join with your students' families in saying...

"Happy Gracturations!"

 

yAEh!

 

And if you're really lucky, one day a former student just might come back to visit, bearing cake:

A cake of "apprication."

 

Aaron R., Marissa S., Alisha G., Kelly D., Amy S., Kim B., Rebecca N., Kasey, Stacey W., Anony M., Rebekah, & Amy S., have you thanked a teacher today?

*****

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Reader Comments (42)

I liked the planned parenthood cakes!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Hot for CakeWrecks
I think of all the educashin that they missed
And the inscripshins that seem much more like a dis
These cakes are bad, cakes are bad, cakes are bad
Please call a teacher
The spelling's bad, so bad
Please call a teacher

I do have to say I really appriciate the use of the word "Gracturation." I was getting a little tired of "Gratuation" and "Gracturation" is like a breath of fresh air. Yaeh! Well I'm finished-No more...comment's.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Sung to: Don't Stand So Close to Me

Yo, teacher, the subject
of good louck big cookie
Wrote back toschol badly
Knows how long years can be
Afraicia brings longing
While prep cake causes rage
Comunity – so close, wow
And now they’re all of age!

Don’t hand. Don’t hand that
Don’t hand that cake to me!

Your friends are so jealous
Yu dib it, yeah, you bet
These cake kits aren’t so easy
Mistakes times 2 you’ll get
Ovations, Gracturations
“Yaeh Angie!” we’ll all cry.
Albrecht celebrating
We appricate that guy.

Don’t hand. Don’t hand that
Don’t hand that cake to me!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

As a matter of fact, I HAVE thanked a teacher today. Well, technically I wrote the email last night. My son's kindergarten teacher is new and has had quite a year with two seriously ill students and another one with major behavioral issues. I figure as a former mentor of new teachers (in my old life), it's up to me to give occasional encouragement. :-) I do think I spelled everything correctly, though.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Haiku Joy, you're
a taecher, we al no, an
we appriciate you

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Thank you, Sharyn (yu dib it, yeah, you bet)!
But it's 3 mistakes on the school cakes- and the beach cake: what's with the Easter island sand castle? and why a jalapeno (sorry, no tilde) sunning itself?
Fans of GH: if that cake were given to Dr Albrecht, would it melt her evil stony loony Teutonic heart / and destroy half the plotlines?
Just asking.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie's Mom

I wonder if the prep time cake received its grade of "-F" before it went to the teachers' lounge, or after?

Yep wee doo apricate Haiku Joi!! Her iz responseble fro gud teechings, like oure teechrs.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

"yu dib it" is going to be something i say/write in the future. much like how i write 'it a gril' to my friends who have daughters.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermere9

Given the context, perhaps a "grammatic pause" might be more appropriate for your opening line?

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTurken

Im afrade i sea nathing rong wit todays’ kakes. Em I mising sumthing? (Bye the waye, I wint to a comunity collage to.)

@Sharyn and SuBee: well dun, we'll dun!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Louck I am your Faaather!

yAEh!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

I think that first cookie was for a guy I knew back in college. His last name was Louck, and he was pretty good...

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPeepBunny

As a teacher, I would totally appreciate that last cake. Because, let's face it, it's cake and for teacher appreciation day, I got Jury Duty.
Always takes the cake (wreck or not)

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessic

I think I've found the reason for these Wrecks. Today is also National Beverage Day!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Considering how Americans have gotten so wussy, we might as well change our name to Afraicia.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

SuBee and Sharyn have done it again! They managed to make this "grammar Natzi" Laugh out Loud at these wrecks rather than shake my fist at the heavens:) Funny, funny ladies!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Don't worry: Saturn isn't going to get me done.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I'm wondering if that first cake was meant for Louie CK.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Those missspelllings give me a hedake!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I think that Sand Castle is flipping me off...

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Is it just me or was the title to this cake wrecks even mis-spelled?

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie Ellis

Sarah CVT bwahahaha. As for the cakes *headdesk*

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The "Your Legale" cake makes me chuckle, because I can imagine someone coming along as the writing was being finished off and saying "No, it's with an 'e'."

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Haiku Joy is our
favorite resident teacher
Gracturations, Yo!

yu dib it **snicker**

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Am I the only one who thought they saw a pretty great Honey Badger on the Library cake, only to sadly realize it was a bear with black bowel syndrome? :(

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I often aprecate my gracturation (in Afraicia). I dib it. yAEh.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Is anyone else reading "yaeh" with an overdone Canadian accent? Ya, eh? No? Eh?

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMom A

"Happy Gracturations!" is right up there with "Happy Falkersatherhood"!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathi

The "Yaeh" cookie was ordered by Lil' Jon.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

Love it, Sharyn!

I think my favorite of today's cakes is the "Afraicia" cake. Now that's just creative. :)

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermelanie sparkles

And is a DiPLOMA something Italian?

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

Glad I'm not a teacher!

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Fourteen hours left
until all my grades are due.
Some students dib it.

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

On the second "No More Kid's" cake: What is that mass of flesh-colored. . . . .uh. . . Limb-like objects on the beach?

May 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Please correct the spelling of APPRECIATION in your title.

May 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMiaS

Well these made me laugh til I cried. Wow. I just can't see how these cakes can get sold lol. No one proof reads at these bakeries I guess. Ah well.

May 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I sent a link to this post to a forum of classics teachers, and got the following reply:

Moving indeed.

But have you not overlooked something? I think we must also value this for the exciting window it affords us on modern borrowings from Latin. "We appricate you" is, I think, fairly obviously (like the earlier English borrowing "apprecate"), from adprecor (the short e being notoriously unstable in Late and Vulgar usage, characteristic of inscriptions on more durable media than cakes).

The clue that this is newly borrowed from Latin rather than a revivification of earlier "apprecate", though, is clear from its syntax: normal diction for "apprecate" (when it was commonly in use, mid-17th C.) would be "apprecate something to / for someone", as can be seen from the article in the OED:

Etymology: < classical Latin apprecāt-, past participial stem (see -ate suffix3) of apprecārī, adprecārī to address prayers to, to invoke, beseech < ad- ad- prefix + precārī to pray (see precation n.).
Compare apprecation n.
Obs.
trans. With *to*: to pray or devoutly wish that a person receives (a reward, punishment, etc.). Also intr.: to pray for a blessing for a person.
1631 J. Donne Serm. (1958) IX. 146 All that the Queen and the Councell could wish and apprecate to the King.
1674 W. Lloyd Difference Church & Court of Rome 13 Apprecating Destruction to those of his Family..who should attempt a departure to Popery.

This, however, is clearly a new borrowing, since it doesn't follow that form. The question now is whether it really means "We pray to you" (which seems a little over the top, even for the sugary sentiments typical of the medium) or something more like "we pray for you to happen (to someone unspecified)." This latter possibility of course entails a whole welter of problems of its own, which I haven't the slightest inclination to solve.

On the other hand, "gracturations" (a marvelous word!) is just as clearly a composite of graculus (jackdaw) and orationes, with an epenthetic t inserted, well, just because. The corpus of picaresque prophecies attributed to the so-called cackling slender jackdaw (graculus gracilis gracillans, active 65-64 BC on Cicero's Tusculan estate, despite the orator's best efforts to knock him off) would fill volumes, had they not all gone missing.

May 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

The comments are as entertaining and funny as are the cakes. Lots of laughs for the reading.

WOW...

May 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I think you've misunderstood the Bus cake: there's no mistake there. It clearly says: "School's out for summer" (apostrophe present and correct) and "No more Kid's!!!", meaning "No more multiple exclamation marks belonging to Kid". I assume the cake recipient knows which specific Kid the exclamation marks belong to. I imagine this is a cake given to an English teacher in recognition of her or his patience and homicidal-rage-suppression after a year teaching somebody named Kid (imagination level of his or her parents is a side issue) who was, like, Wow! Really, HEAPS melodramatic!!!, you know!?, always SO excitable!! And LOUD!!! (Hence the use of all capitals on the cake.) Definitely, this teacher earned a cake. Another side note: I fear the baker may be risking a fine - The Magic School Bus is a little too well-rendered - I can still tell what it is!

May 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAA

9 & 10 are mistakes from the concept...it's supposed to be "No more pencils, No more books, No more teacher's dirty looks" not "No more kids"....geez.

May 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Heh I could never be a cake decorator. I'd make every mistake, the pressure!! But maybe I could handle it with some louke!

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDL

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