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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May192017

YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET A YEAR-FULL

You're not going to believe this, minions, but Cake Wrecks is nine years old today.

I know, I know; and here we don't look a day over threeth.

 

Yes, against all odds, through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, Cake Wrecks has fought its way to becoming a veritable dinosaur in the online world.

A dino named Rex, of course.

 

We've survived national disasters, online controversies, three presidential elections, three book tours (or was it four?), economic downturns, Facebook's soul-crushing algorithm, and that time John accidentally banned Canada. We've spawned memes, tributes, fan wrecks, and Epcot bunkers. We've outlived most - if not all - of our contemporaries, watching in bemused horror while long-standing humor sites died, were bought-out, or were bought-out and then died.

We rejected our own offers, though, because I figure if Cake Wrecks ever goes down, it's going down with me.

And hopefully with less airbrushing.

 

So here John and I've sat, in our virtual rocking chairs, on our metaphorical front porch, making snarky comments about the allegorical hairstyles of today's whippersnapper websites - and wondering how we can ever hope to top the past nine years.

After a lot of thought, we came up with something.

We decided this year is going to be our best yet - for you AND for us.

 

So starting next week, we're going to be counting down the Top 312 Cake Wrecks Posts Of All Time. That's right, you'll see the greatest, most hysterical wreckage out of nine years and over 3,000 posts - and on Sundays, the most stunning Sweets.

Now, John's spent the last few weeks ranking and reviewing our entire archives, and let me tell you: I don't remember 80% of these posts, and I'm the one that wrote them. So this will be a wrecky romp down Foggy Memory lane, the Cliff's Notes of Cake Wrecks, the cream of the crop, the best of the best, and bring us screeching into our 10 year anniversary in sweet, wrecktastic style.

All your favorites. All our favorites. All year long.

Not sure what this means (Age gets attacked by Beauty wielding a chainsaw?) but it feels appropriate here.

 

And THAT is how we top 9 amazing years: By cramming all the highest highs together. By looking back and reliving every laugh-'til-we-pee moment. By saying "HOW did I never see THIS one?" because if *I* don't remember most of these, then you can bet your convoluted cupcake cakes (patooie!) that you won't, either.

John and I will still be here 6 days a week. We'll be active on Facebook, moderating your comments, and of course I'll still be sharing all our non-cake adventures over on Epbot. The only real difference is that, for the next 365 days, every single post you see on Cake Wrecks will be one of our best ever.

I hope you'll stick around. It's gonna be fun.

 

And thanks to Emily A., Valerie D., Danielle B., & Anony M. for the excellent wreckporting.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Story Time Sweets | Main | Bad Giraffe! BAAAAD! »

Reader Comments (77)

Can't believe it has been 9 years already! Happy birthday Cake Wrecks, here's to hoping you are around for many many more.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCatmania

The beauty/age cake... "Age before beauty. Beauty was a horse." A woman I worked with would say it every time the two of us approached a door at the same time.

So.... what about NEW wrecks?? Not that I'll mind seeing the golden oldies.... We all know, however, that the wreckerators are still hard at work!

[Hi Irene! If something amazing and unique comes in (Obama Llama!!!) we might write about it but it would be a special circumstance. There isn't much we haven't seen so this year, we really want to show off the best of the best. :) -john (the hubby of Jen)]

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterIrene

Happy birthday, Cake Wrecks! Love y'all!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTaffy Cake

Happy 9th anniversary. I look forward to many more years of wrecks

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTina

I can't remember when I first found Cake Wrecks but it has been several years of fun and laughter. Thanks for the treats.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrandi

Happy​ cakeyversiry

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

You mean this year is going to be all reruns???

[Editor's note- Yup! But only the really fun ones. -john (the hubby of Jen)]

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterme

Happy Birthday, Congratulations, and I can't wait to see a year of the best! Great idea!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

3rd wreck - "I think it's plane to see how you landed your job here at CakeWrecks - you took a crash course."

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Jeez, people with the 'but... but..' attitude, CHILL. Nine years is a long time. That's a lotta wrecks. And some of them will definitely bear repeating. There's nothing wrong with a great re-run. And that's coming from someone who's watched 'The Mummy' about 500 times.

I AM NOT ASHAMED.

Jen and John (thoJ), I salute you. It takes an enormous amount of work to get something like this on its feet, develop a following and keep that following rolling in the aisles for nine entire years. Looking forward to the edited highlights.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Happy Birthday, Cake Wrecks!
I started reading this blog when I was 8 months pregnant. The post made me laugh so hard I cried - and, well, other embarrassing things that happen to pregnant ladies! That little "bun in the oven" is now finishing up first grade. Still, this blog is the best!!
May you have many more wrecktastic years!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Happy Cakeaversary!

I can't believe I've been reading for nine years.

Looking forward to seeing the best of the best!

Congrats Jen & John.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commentergigi

Good for you! :) Happy anniversary!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAli

I see a "best of" book in your future... and that is AWESOME!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Happy Anniversary!! As someone who has read Cakewrecks for many years, but never commented before,I salute you. Since I occasionally read through random posts from the past I am looking forward to a curated selection every day in the upcoming year. Bravo!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMarj

A fabulous idea! I look back on stuff I wrote a year ago, and don't remember it at all. So a curated list of the best wrecks that I don't remember from the last 9 years? Brilliant.

(Crossing my fingers that our fireman wang cake makes the cut...)

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Happpy 9st Anniverserary (in red with sprinkles) -- and underneet that -- many moor!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTiggy

Happy 9th Anniversary ! You are about the same age as our bakery and the best part of my morning every day except Saturday(Saturdays are very sad)! Hope you get the needed rest you deserve while we review the golden oldies. Wreck on!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTom

A year of the most awesomely hilarious Wrecks... count me in!!

Congrats (and all the various other spellings) to you both
Xx

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterStewart C

Woo hoo! I am along for the ride. Since I recently put you on my Feedly, I will have a chance to see all of the worst of the best of awful cakeness!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTami Von Zalez

Happy, Happy Birthday! Thank you for being here and for continuing to provide laugh-out-loud, spitting-coffee-on-the-keyboard humor day after day after day. For me, you were a life-saver. When I lost my wife I lost my anchor and drifted aimlessly, until I found your first book. It rekindled life and laughter, and led me to your website. I looked and lurked, and then joined the community of commenters. You were gracious and kind, and I got to “play” with the likes of Sharyn, SuBee and Haiku Joy and the many other regulars who came each day to revel in your writing and add their own outlandishness and laughter. It was a good time, and it helped heal an old man’s broken heart. And though I rarely comment anymore, I still come back to laugh, to marvel at your wordplay and delight in your successful dedication to providing the funniest, funniest humor site on the internet. Again, thank you for being here, and here’s to many, many more years of laughter.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermel

Happy 9st anniversary!

But I must inform you that the second one is clearly a dragon not a dinosaur. It is breathing fire. I know that accuracy is of utmost importance here.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Anniversary!!!! Wow, 9 years!

I remember discovering you 8 years ago while looking for wedding cake ideas. Your site helped me lower my expectations, and just pick something from the book of the venues recommended baker (which turned out perfect, thankfully for me, not so much for you guys). It also let me focus my neuroses elsewhere on the wedding... ahh, good times!

Then came babies and baby shower cakes, which I also lowered my expectations and demands on. And then kids' birthday cakes; which I make myself because I don't want to pay for those therapy bills. It is strange that people I have never met have had such a strong influence over so much of my life. I even look to you guys for suggestions on tv shows and movies! So, thank you!!!

And, Congraludations! I look forward to the coming year of (forgotten & relived) memories!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterheather

Congrats Jen & John! I also can't remember when I started reading Cakewrecks. It's one of my morning rituals to read your blog. I'm looking forward to the best of the best. Can't wait to see if one of my faves made the cut!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

Wow, nine years of laughs. You guys still never cease to amaze and create hilarity. Congrats on the anniversary, and you can be sure I'll be sticking around!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

HAPPY 9st Birthaversary day day Jen and John (thoj). I am proud to be a Cakewreck-a-holic for many many years, (probably 6 or 7 at least). I don't start my day without a visit to my favorite site in the whole cyber universe. If others think you are sitting back, relaxing and 'just giving us re-runs'? They are sadly mistaken my friends. I can only imagine the hard work, going thru thousands of posts, hilarious commentary and all just to give us, your fans the best of the best. Jen and John YOU ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST. I can't wait to see what you have in store. I will stock up on paper towels and cleaner to keep my keyboard and monitor clean from the accidental ptooing on it with laughter AND may have to start WEARING DEPENDS while I visit in case I have a pee pee accident, trust me it happens. Luv you both and THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO TO KEEP US ENTERTAINED. YOUR'RE...uh, wait....YOU'R...ugh....YORE...damn. YOU'RE THE BEST!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Mel- I've missed your comments-good to see you are still reading!

Wow-9 years has flown by! I probably will remember the old posts when I see them, as I'm a visual person, but that doesn't mean they won't still be funny! My geek creds extend only as far as being friends with and dating mostly geeks, and now the mother of geek boys, but I've always appreciated your comments-sometimes laughing for the entire day. Congrats and thanks for the memories-many of which have become memes for our family! And if you get the chance to secure your retirement, I wouldn't blame you for selling. Living the life is doing what you love and getting paid for it, isn't it?

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Oh, my!! I wonder what the top "WRECKS " could be!!!
I have my own favorite. ...but every one has been a treat ..in a manner of speaking...!

=^~.~^= HAPPY 9TH!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Happy birthday to the site. It will be fun seeing the best of the best, and I hope you guys get the chance to do something special you couldn't easily do turning it new material constantly. An awesome vacation or a grand adventure. Or just studying something you've not had time for. Meanwhile, I'll be laughing my head off.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMarkinSF

@mel Great to see you again!
I love it when I stumble upon a wonderful CW post I've forgotten about. This next year is going to be great! But poor John(thoj). Choosing the top 312 must have been so hard! (I'll bet 313 was brilliant, too...)

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Happy Birthday Cakewrecks!

Oh! To see once again the original post of the Mohawk-naked fist-pumping-carrot riding babies!!!! Yes, yes, yes!!!! :)

um...err...Are we, new people in the wreck-community, allowed to comment on old posts?

:)


[Editor's note- Always. I love seeing new takes on the older posts. Thanks for being awesome. -john (the hubby of Jen)]

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTere

Wow, congrats on 9 great years! I love your site, I love Epbot, I love you and John both on Facebook, and I just generally all-around love everything about you. :) Happy anniversary!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Although I have been a long-time reader, I did miss the early years of Cake Wrecks, and I'm really looking forward to seeing the origins of some of the repeat references over the years. And it'll be wonderful to reconnect with members of the community that haven't been heard from in a while (Welcome back Mel!).
Congratulations on the milestone Jen, John (thoj) and all the faithful readers!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterColin

Happy 9th anniversary to Cake Wrecks! Every Sunday I say things like, Wow! Is that cake!? How do they do that!? And all through the week I laugh with the bloopers! My favorite is still the babies on the carrot cake.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

YAY to both of you! I found you a long time ago and still love you and the simple joy that you bring to us..

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDee, just Dee

Wow! I didn't realize we were almost the same age. I will celebrate the 9th anniversary of starting my business in August. Happy wreckerversary!

And poor Rex, with his feet on backwards. No wonder he looks so sad. And dizzy.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I'm really looking forward to seeing the top wrecks and the top sweets! I'm sure there are some that I'll remember well, some that I won't remember, and some that I haven't seen before! Mostly, though, I'm sure that they'll all be great!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDale

Happy 9rd Brithday!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Ridiculous

Happy wreckiversary, Jen and John!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMisti

Thanks for all the new keyboards I have had to buy from spitting my coffee out and since I'm fairly new to the game, I can't wait for the "best of".
Happy 9st cakeversary.I know it's not a cupcakeverysary though right?

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuzie

I didn't see a chainsaw. I saw what the decorator probably intended: pugilistic unicorn legs.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Sounds good to me! Congratulations and Happy 9th Anniversary!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJan in AZ

hapy 9rd Britday! mel - I've missed you. Your humor helped get me through some difficult times, as well. Thanks to all!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

Congratulations to Jen and John (thoj) on 9 years of side-splitting, funny-bone-tickling humor!
Mel - your comment was heartwarming and touching. I wish you many more years of laughter and light-heartedness! Maybe you will be inspired to add more comments in the future.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

Happy Anniversary!! 9 years is a long time to survive on the ever-changing web, but your brand of humour is so wonderfully unique and addictive, that I'll happily follow you into the next decade. Cheers!!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commentergwray

Happy Anniversary, Jen and John. Looking forward to the "best of the best". Do they make coffee-retardant keyboards? I may need to invest in one.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBlubonnet

Congratulations on 9 awesome years! I loved stalking - I mean, *meeting* - the both of you at D*C, and I read this blog and Epbot fanatically - I mean, *often*. Now sit back, relax, and let the rest of us bask in the glory of historical Wrecks!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Happy Anniversary Cake Wrecks! Thank you for bringing me daily laughter! And those gorgeous cakes on Sundays.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Wrecky memory lane! Can't wait!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

Aw, Happy 9rd Anniversday! I love going back through old wrecks, especially wedding wrecks & nsfw wrecks! Looking forward to many more wreckiversaries!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

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