5 Terrible Ways To Celebrate Resurrect Romance Week

It's Resurrect Romance Week, minions, and I'm here to school you in the ways of wooing-with-cake.

Trust me, there are lots of ways you can heat things up with a little frosting, IF you know what I mean. Eh? ::eyebrow waggle:: EH? ::elbow nudge::

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Oh, whoops. Wrong cake.

Hang on.

.... 

Aha! Here we go:

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Because nothing says, "My secret garden is a HOOT" quite like a plastic owl censor dot. 

(Also there's a "self-rising flower" joke in here SOMEWHERE, I just know it.)

Or, if you want to be a little less subtle about it:

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"This is our state"? Suuuuure it is, fellas. But only sometimes, right? Like, not when it's cold?

(Oh, c'mon, look at those faces. They see it, too.)

Maybe you're in the market for something that tells your main squeeze you're in this for the long haul, but in a way that's less sappy and more serial-killer:

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I'd save this for AFTER your weekend get-away at the cabin, though. Otherwise you'll be chasing them through the woods with a chainsaw trying to explain how the chainsaw is only for landscaping and all those bottles in the basement are just ketchup, honey, honest! ...and it'll be a whole thing.

Of course actions speak louder than words, and there's at least one action I know that's guaranteed to have you howling for Romance week:

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Yep, yep, yep. Good times with a bag of frozen peas.

(That's supposed to say "boys," btw, but you catch my non-drift.)

Thanks to Katie P., Pamela R., Anony M., Meghan C. & Stephanie C., who know that "frozen peas" joke is what separates the men from the Bays.

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The "I Kid You Not" shirt is my favorite:

 Funny Vasectomy Tees

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And from my other blog, Epbot: