Bridal Terrors

A lot of brides like to give their bakers a photo of their dream wedding cake, in the hopes that they might, in fact, get a cake that looks at least vaguely similar.

However, as you long-time readers know, this can be a lot like asking Francois the painting ferret** to whip you up a quick Mona Lisa. Some of the colors might be right, but in the end it's probably gonna be covered in fur and little poo nuggets. (The painting, that is, not the cake.) (We hope.)

For example:

Amanda C. asked for this, only in white and with a C:

And, in the baker's defense...

...that is most definitely a C.

Jei gave this picture to the head "chef" at a "luxury" beach "resort":

And she got...this:

I can't decide which is classier: the oozing cake or those water bottles.

Do you think the bride had to spring for those? [chortle]

Candice F. wanted this mushroom cake:

And her baker's interpretation?

Aw, those bakers: such fun guys.

Joanne and Elena wanted this stunner for their wedding:

And, to be fair, what they got did leave them stunned:

I would ask what happened to the flowers, but those squiggles have left me speechless.

And finally, Christie D. wanted her cake to look just like this, only with silver ribbon:

Pretty simple, right?

Well, here's an interesting factoid: did you know that "silver ribbon" can be translated as "duct tape"* in some bakeries? It's true. Here's proof:

That's "35 years of experience" right there.

So I'd hate to see what only two decades' worth would look like.

Thanks to brides Amanda C., Jei, Candice F., Joanne & Elena C., and Christie D. for making me feel better about my $80 Publix wedding cake.

*Note: Not actual duct tape. Duct tape is prettier.

**Loyal Wrecky Henchperson Shannon S. sent in this helpful illustration:

Quick! Somebody give me a clever ferret pun!
(I love my job)

*****

P.S. Don't worry, I have a pumpkin-spice chaser for you: Check out this card that transforms into a bouquet:

Fresh Cut Pop-Up Bouquet, "Pumpkin Harvest"

I've been raving about Fresh Cut Paper for a while now, and they just added two new Fall designs: this "Pumpkin Harvest" bouquet:

...and a pop-up wreath!? Ohhh, this is cool:

When I send my grandmother cards she likes to tack them up up on her wall, so I just sent her this one, which is meant to be hung up, and doubles as pretty Fall decor. There are more styles, too, so go see all the Fresh Cut Paper designs here.

Sunday Sweets: Disney Princess Wedding Cakes

I love Disney wedding cakes, I admit it. So I thought I'd feature some today inspired specifically by the Disney princesses. Aww yeeeeaah. Princess powers go!

[By I Believe It's Cake in LA, California]

Aww, how sweet is this? Cinderella's blue birds and pink ribbon add the perfect finishing touches - and if you look closely, the top filigree design looks like her pumpkin coach!

Or how about this Beauty:

[By Chocomoo Cakes in Sheffield, UK]

Fairy lights, roses, and allll the sparkly glitter on the middle tier. I approve.

I don't know if this next one's a wedding cake, but it'd be perfect for a Princess and the Frog theme:

[By Sugar Couture in Brooklyn, NY]

I like that pearly finish, it gives it a sweet glow.

This next one is pure romance and drama for a subtle Snow White theme:

[By Cake-A-Licious in Utah (now closed), featured here]

WOW. Digging all the shades of red, and the crisp gold "I Do" on the apple topper.

Gotta have a classic Cinderella's castle cake, right?

[By Disney Weddings]

This is the definition of "dreamy"; it's floating on icing clouds, and those lights! Hnnnng.

Would you have an almost-black wedding cake? I think I would, if it looked like this:

It's warm and real and bright, you guys. Like the world has somehow...shifted.

(Who's singing with me?)

[By Sweet Fix in Virginia]

Yep, the lantern scene from Tangled gets me every time. Plus that big one on the side lights up!

The briars on this Briar Rose (aka Sleeping Beauty) cake are so, so good:

[By The Disneyland Hotel]

Perfect theming, and it's a metaphor for their life together, right? Where everything is coming up roses?

I always try to feature cakes where the actual CAKE is the cool part, not just the topper. I'm making an exception for this next one, though, because LOOK HOW CUTE:

[Made by Logan Kendell. Maybe. Possibly.]

Sebastian is hugging the little figurines, just like in the movie!

This... this may be the cutest thing ever, you guys.

My jaw about hit the keyboard when I found this STUNNING Beauty and the Beast cake:

[By Happy Fest party planners in Brazil]

Then my jaw fell again when I discovered it's actually a birthday cake... for a four-year-old.

On a personal note, my own wedding cake came from a grocery store, and life is soooo not fair sometimes.

Ahem.

Here comes another stunner:

[By party planner Abrilhantando sua Festa in Brazil]

Cinderella definitely inspires the most wedding cakes! I like how they used the clock *and* the carriage, and of course all that lovely gold lace and butterflies.

And finally, a more modern style castle that's giving me some sweet Small World vibes in the best possible way:

[By Disney Weddings in Aulani]

Now that is a Happily Ever After.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

*****

P.S. They're not exactly princesses, but it's the Sanderson sisters' season - and this blanket is as gorgeous as it is cozy:

Hocus Pocus Fleece Blanket
They also carry this at Spirit: Halloween, but I like that it's available on Amazon for folks who don't have a store near them!