The Blizzard of Odd

It's only two weeks 'til Christmas, bakers. Quick! THROW PLASTIC CHRISTMAS FLOTSAM ON EVERYTHING!

Oh come on, man. PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!

That's better.

Now, go make some cupcake cakes {PATOOIE!} that defy all laws of logic and common sense. DO EEET!

Yessss, and use sprinkles instead of colored icing! GENIUS!

I don't know what's happening here, but I like where your head's at.

Ok, now make a Christmas King Cake, because it's been WAY too long since those things got me in trouble:

Of COURSE you can still use the purple sprinkles and little plastic baby, silly! It's a King Cake! But for Christmas! AND THIS MAKES TOTAL SENSE!

Now pass the eggnog, and let's go flash people on the street with our ugly Christmas sweaters for tinsel!

WHOAH THERE, St. Nick. I said flash our sweaters!

And you call yourself a saint. REALLY.

Thanks to Daisy B., Andrea J., Ginny V., Lizz, Holly H., & Christine V. for the cup of holiday HELLOOOOOO, Santa.

******

P.S. It is possible our obsession with gnomes has gone too far?

Gnome Refrigerator Handle Covers, Set of 8

... or not far enough?

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Are You Smarter Than A Wreckerator?

Friends, if you'll indulge me, I'd like to take a moment and wax poetical about the world's somewhere-between-17th-and-52nd best education system.

You see, here in the States we learn everything we need in life, from the very basics:

(The difference between an apple and a bell pepper is more advanced.)

...to spelling and punctuation:

...to those oh-so-vital math skills.

We also have more advanced studies of the human, um... whatever this is:

I'm pretty sure that's butt stuff.

Here we're encouraged to keep writting(s?):

...to keep our stars shinning:

...and to always enhance that one student's mind's 2013:

That one's a little confusing, I'll grant you.

Because here in the US we honor our honor stundels:

...encouraging them to Imagin a world where they can Acheive their dreams:

A world where, say, all you have to do is copy little plastic signs for a living.

...from the very beginning of the school year:

...to the bitter(sweet?) end.

Yay.

Thanks to Janel J., Anony M., Kate B., Brittany J., Juli K., Anony M., Linda R.., Rae L., Tanya, Janica C. & Laura B. for the education.

*****

P.S. Because I bet we could all use a drink after that:

"Santa's Flask" Stocking Booze Dispenser

This stocking can hold an entire bottle of wine! Better get two.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: