It's Time To Take The Fall, Y'all
It's late-September, 94 degrees, raining, and we need something to save us, bakers. Something to light a light at the end of this hot, dark, wet tunnel.
No, I'm not talking about porn.
Why would you even think that?
Stop it. Stop thinking about porn.
Er... Right.
Now...
BRING ON THE PUMPKIN SPICE STUFF!!
::upbeat techno music::
::sounds of vrooming engines::
::announcer voice:: Thaaaat's right, ladies and gents, here they come! Our new pumpkin spice products of 2026!
First up, in celebration of today's socio-political climate, here's a tasty little number we call "Ominously Circling Crows Will Teach That Stupid Scarecrow A Lesson He Won't Soon Forget!"
Perfect for sending that seasonal message of warning, or grab one tonight for dinner to celebrate all things corn, crows, and frightened scarecrows!
Of course we're still dropping our flagship product, the world famous PSL:
Yes, our Pumpkin Spice Log may not be number 1 yet in the Pumpkin Spice Product market, but it's definitely #2. And we pledge to keep on pushing until our PSL is the biggest Pumpkin Spice Movement in the land!
There's nothing like the colors of dead leaves to bring new life to your flagging ennui, which is why our "Make Like A Tree, And Die" cupcake cake is PERFECT for Fall office parties.
Ahhh, you can almost taste the leaf mold.
(That's how you know the Pumpkin Spice is working!)
And when all else fails, you can't go wrong with any of our new-and-improved "Sure, Let's Call It A Pumpkin?" collection:
Please note our "Sure, Let's Call It A Pumpkin?" collection is not pumpkin flavored. To quote our marketing department, Emma, "This is more about the aesthetic, you know?"
SO EXTRA.
Thanks to Sarah T., Katelyn C., Melissa F., Linda F., Alyssa, Mary D., & Bridget O. for bringing the extra pumpkin aesthetic.
*****
P.S. Minions, I believe even questionable pumpkins deserve our support. So here's a quick shout-out to my favorite wire-free bra:
Warner's Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra
See what I did there? :p
I own four of these, and plan to keep buying all the colors. I love the under-arm smoothing panel - no dig or pinch! - and like most Warners, these are incredibly comfortable. Up 'til last year I ONLY wore wired bras, and it took buying-and-returning over a dozen different brands and styles before I found these gems. They average $25-30 Prime, but I watch the listing and buy any color that goes on sale. ("Toasted Almond" is on sale as of this writing, but check them all!)
Oh, and be sure to check the image gallery for a better idea of how they look on larger pumpkin patches.
