Wreckage Of Unusual Size

In honor of one of the greatest movies of all time, I'd like to tell you a story.

It's a story of the man in black:

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Who may or may not look like the Noid from those old Domino's commercials.

 

And also a beautiful princess:

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It's a tale of fencing and fighting,

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of torture and despair,

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"I've just sucked one year of your life away.
Now I need a glass of milk."

 

...of chases, escapes, and, of course, twoo wuv.

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Also known as "Twoo huv"

 There's also a subplot of a son avenging his father's murder.

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to... What's this? A cake?"

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"Oooh, are those cherries?
I mean, uh...
Prepare to die.
And also pass me that fork over there."

 

Together, our heroes will defeat an evil prince, a wily Sicilian, a six-fingered man...

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and, of course, Rodents Of Unusual Size.

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"Hi."

 

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"Btw, you may want to watch out for those popping noises. Trust me."

 

Bye bye, Jennifer B., Emily M., Jefferey W., Colin & Jen, Jan Y., Jennifer W., Nicole V., Rysha M., & Melanie H.! Have fun storming the castle!

 

Oh, and before I go: Anybody want a peanut?

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*****

P.S. Or, if you want the "official" retelling, there's always this:

The Princess Bride, Deluxe Edition Hardcover

It contains 50 lovely full-page illustrations, but not a single anthropomorphic peanut. Sorry.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

WE NEED MORE ROOSTER TEARS

"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"

"Let's find out!"

 

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Firth of all...
I really like saying "firth."

 

Toothly, allow me to point out that this is after they "fixed" it:

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So I'm guessing it used to read "2rd."

(Psst. Say "2rd" out loud. Go on. It's fun! You know you want to.)

 

And thirthly...

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Hey, that was fun. Let's try that again:

And thirthly...

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(Resolve...weakening...)

 

And THIRTHLY...

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They think the brown and yellow drips will distract us.

They're right.

 

Ok, ok, let's quit horsing around and get to business:

And thirthly:

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Yep, that's it. I am now thoroughly convinced there is a nefarious Voodoo plot formed in the bowels of some super villain's bakery to make us all sound like Daffy Duck.You just can't argue with this kind of evidence.

But we're on to you, super villain! We know you're out there!

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Ok, fine, you've made your point. Clearly we are at your mercy.

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Aaand now you're just showing off.

In fact, Mr. or Mrs. Super Villain, I think I speak for us all when I say: "You're dethspicable."

 

Thanks to Anne, Jessica B., Sarah S., Jamie R., Kacey S., Vivek R., Teri R., & Diane C., who I've just inducted into my new Superhero League, Capes for Cakes. Report to the secret lair for your lassos and piping bags.

*****

P.S. You seem stressed. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning: