My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Royal Wrecks


Princess-themed balloons, tiaras, and party favors: $54.00.


Special appearance by I Can't Believe It's Not Disney!©'s Princess Bimberella: $134.99.

Misspelling your daughter's giant hot-pink birthday cake:



Eh, it could be worse... I guess...



Say it out loud. It's fun! "PRY-ness."




(P.S. In the future, I'd like to be referred to as Priness Number 1. Spread the word.)



Because you're never too old for the "magic:"


I wonder if that's royal icing.



At least here they spelled "Princess" right...



...but you do have to wonder what happened to the first 10 Princesses.


We bow down to her royal highnesses, Rebecca B., Ciere O., Heather, and Priness Nicky. These cakes rule! (Say, is the plural for highness "highni?" 'Cuz if it's not, it should be.)



Operation Cake Evasion

Are you tired of always having to get the cake for friends' baby showers? Nooo problem. Just bring in one of these, and they'll never ask again. Guaranteed.

I call this the Bizarre "B" Special: that's Baby Bigfoot on a BBQ, surrounded by beer bottles and a bonsai tree. Feel free to personalize your own creation, though, and have fun with it! How about an Irish infant in an igloo, surrounded by indigo ibexes?

Forget safe, traditional pastels; you want to "go" for as many subtle bowel reminders as possible. Note the use of "chocolate kisses," yellow icing, the big crack, and even the word "bun" in the inscription. Now that's a true master at work.

If the shower is around Halloween, you'll also have this fun option:

Yep. A subtle insinuation that mom-to-be rides a broomstick (or has one shoved where the sun don't shine) oughtta do the trick.

Or, heck, while you're at it: why not take a stab at mom's drinking habits?

The two ingredients for successful parenting.

If at this point you're STILL getting stuck with cake duty, it's time for the gloves to come off. Yep. It's time for...[dramatic pause]...the Crap n' Snap:

Ohh snap!

Now sit back, relax, and revel in the knowledge that no one will ever trust you to order a cake, ever again.

Thanks to Crystal B., Stephanie S., Jenny C., JK, & Angie M., who haven't ordered a cake since 1999.