No, No, No! THIS is How You Resign with a Cake.

As usual when a nugget of cake news hits the blogosphere, I've been inundated with e-mails about this photo. In it, nattily-dressed Neil presents his resignation on a large sheet cake.

Neil is obviously a great guy, and not just because he can rock a fuchsia dress shirt. No, he also sweetened his two-weeks notice with words like "joy and whim" in addition to all that yummy frosting. I bet every boss wishes their employees would be as thoughtful.

However, I submit that this cake is far too well-intentioned to qualify as a Cake Wreck. So for the rest of us - the ones who have daydreamed (or continue to) about telling the ol' boss-person where they can take our respective employment position and place it - I present Patrick's cake:

Obviously, Patrick was not as well-disposed towards his job at a "prestigious interactive agency"*. In fact, he was so fed-up with his boss's brow-beatings that on the day in question he picked up his paycheck, placed this cake on his desk, and simply walked out the door.

Here's what happened next:

"About two hours later, my voice mail, text, and email lit up like wildfire. Other agencies that I've never heard of are contacting me telling me I'm a legend. People are photographing each other with the cake."

Wow. See, now there's a way to go out with a sweet, passive-aggressive bang.

And the boss? Apparently he didn't realize this was an insult. HR had to tell him it was a few weeks later. (Not sure what he thought it was before that - a joke, perhaps?)

Patrick tells me that folks in his industry still ask, "Are YOU the one who left the cake?". So maybe you should put this on your resume, eh, Patrick? And then put that on a cake. And then send it to me. And then I will eat it. (Mmm, cakey resumes...)

*I have no idea what that means, so I assume it's high-paying.

Rockin' Shams

Every holiday I'm forced to wonder: must we anthropomorphize everything?

The answer of course is yes - yes we must. Thanks for clearing that up, Becky F.

Not only is this next incredibly hulking blob supposed to be a shamrock, it's also got quite an infestation going on:

[sucking air through teeth] Hoo boy! Christy M., I'm not gonna lie to you: this is bad. Bad bad bad.

[hitching britches up] Now, what we've gotta do here is get them there lil' buggers out before they start "compromising" your "substructure", you follow? 'Cuz once THAT happens, well.. [shaking head mournfully] Let's just say it's "bye bye birdie". Now, fortunately for you, I just so happen to have a special runnin' this week... [hurrying out to fetch calculator from Hummer]

Aaand the "Worst Attempt at a Shamrock" goes to... [opening envelope]

Alison H.'s "Alien Arms Squashing Lice"!!

[announcer voice] "This is Alison H.'s first win in the Sham category. Her previous nominations include 'Dog Paws on Poo', 'Head's Up! It's Edible!' and the critically acclaimed 'Santa's Sticky Surprise'."

Wow, these St. Patrick's Day cakes are driving me a bit buggy. How 'bout you guys?