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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug252009

Truth in Advertising

Bakers, in today's lagging economy the race to earn customers' hard-earned dollars is on. So how can you stay ahead of your competition? With tasteful, quality display-cakes, that's how.

Yep, you want displays that draw people in. Displays that show off your skills. Displays that say, "Hey, we're a modern, 'with-it' bakery that knows just how to relate to today's generation."

"You see, kids, there once was a time when phones had cords on them."

You also want cakes that show you take your job seriously:

And that your figure modeling is second-to-none:

"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS. TAKE US HOME OR WE WILL STUN YOU WITH OUR LASER EYES. JUST KIDDING. HA. HA. HA."

But also some that show you aren't lacking in the crazy department:

"Proud to be the only bakery that offers large chocolate grenades in our 'Peeps VS Bobble-Heads Soccer Match in the Desert of Doom' design - now with random Rugrats!"

Jasmine D., Erin F., Lisa M., Sarah N., & Maren J., can you spot the grenade?

- Related Wreckage: Wrecks on Display

Monday
Aug242009

Forget the Ballgame. Just Take Me Out.

Breaking news update: The Red Sox have clinched the AL Wild Card lead. Boy, this stuff changes fast!

As of today, the Red Sox and the Rangers are tied for the AL Wild Card lead. ("Uh-huh, and...?") St. Louis catcher Jason LaRue got a hit off of Billingsley in the ninth inning, and pinch-hitter Joe Thurston doubled down the right field line to set up the top of the Cardinals' lineup. (Y'all following this?)

Then the Mets did something, the Cubs did something, and I began to zone out, wishing I had some Twizzlers and thinking how dumb it is that LOST has such a long hiatus.

But I'm aware that many folks are rabid baseball fans, so today's post is for you! (See? I do care.)

I've often thought the game could use a little girling up. I mean, why don't they use giant roses for bases? Or incorporate a little pink and robin's egg blue? Next time you're at a game, be sure to ask.

Also be sure to suggest - loudly and to anyone in earshot - that the whole diamond setup is stupid. Wonky ovals are way better.

Now flag down the sweaty guy with the tray o' beers, fork over your seven dollars for another one, and check out the pop fly ball that's heading straight for your head. In your inebriated state, it might look something like this:



Fortunately, though, anyone who's recently suffered a stunning blow to the head qualifies as an honorary Wreckerator! So quick, before your senses return, decorate a cake!

Excellent. I particularly like the random "w" - or is that a sideways 3?

Ashley P., Dawn B., Dan M. and Lori R., "your out!"

- Related Wreckage: Why We Need More Male Cake Decorators