Back Off, Man. I'm A Baker.

Are you bothered by strange noises in the middle of the night?

Plus rampant rodent droppings?

Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement, attic, or bakery?

"You guys, I have a feeling there's something really creepy below us..."

"SEE?!"

Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter, or super sarcastic ghost?

"Like, boo, or whatever."

How about an entire tray of cupcakes giving you the finger?

If the answer is yes then don't wait another minute! Pick up the phone and call the prefessionals.

WRECKBUSTERS.

Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve ALL your supernatural elimination needs.

"So let me get this straight: You're saying the ghost of your filet mignon just pooped on your couch?

"I call bullsh*t."

WRECKBUSTERS.

We're ready to relieve you!

"Ok, who brought the dog?"

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Hey E.L., Marsha M., Rose B., Grace K., Jessica B., Kayla F., Scott D., & Dustin S., listen! Do you smell something?

*****

P.S. Now that it's *almost* scarf weather in Florida let me show you my new favorite find:

The CVS Receipt Scarf

Y'all. It's soft, it goes with everything, and it's a giant CVS receipt. Talk about the best reveal when someone compliments your look!

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The 10 Stages Of Wrecky Trick-Or-Treating

The 10 Stages Of Handing Out Candy To Trick-Or-Treaters

As Illustrated With Halloween Cake Wrecks

Stage 1:

"AWWWWW lookit the cute costumes on all the cute bebies! CANDY FOR EVERYONE."

Stage 2:

"Wow there are a lot of you."

Stage 3:

"A 5-year-old Deadpool just kicked me but this is fine, everything's fine."

Stage 4:

"WHAT IF WE RUN OUT OF CANDY?"

Stage 5:

"You get two pieces each AND THAT'S FINAL."

Stage 6:

"This is my life now."

Stage 7:

::obsessively looking between the clock and the candy bowl::

Stage 8:

"I AM SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T TP MY HOUSE."

Stage 9:

"They TP'd my house."

Stage 10:

::cracks open secret stash of chocolate and plops down to watch Ghostbusters::

BEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.

Thanks to Anne H., Deon M., Meg M., Jessica A., Kaitlin K., Mariah E., Hillary, M.M., Savannah G., & Tara W. for the wrecky treats. Oh, and I've never actually had my house TP'd; my generous candy distribution is both fear-based and extremely effective. :D

*****

P.S. Friendly reminder:

Punctuation Saves Lives

:D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: