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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec032014

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate

I'm always fascinated by the breakdown in communication that can occur when you order a cake. I love figuring out what went wrong just by looking at the cake; it beats any crossword puzzle or word jumble.

 

Sometimes the explanation is pretty straight forward:

 

As you can see, there is in fact a "Coca Cola can/bottle" on this cake.

 

Other times there's a severe misunderstanding from the get-go:

I like to think that if they'd spelled "capital" correctly they might have figured it out.

Sometimes you specifically ask for little plastic "Happy Birthday sticks" stuck in your order of cupcakes:

Other times you're just not specific enough:

And sometimes, on wonderful, rare occasions, you get an amazingly talented baker. A baker with mad piping skills, a steady hand, and perfect spelling. A baker who, incidentally, is also a little hard of hearing. So, when you get this baker, and you want to order a giant Gerber daisy on your cake, just be sure you enunciate really, really well.

Because otherwise...

 

You might get the Gerber Baby.

 

(Yes, really. Scout's honor.)

 

A big "thanks" in all caps to Heather F., Brianne H., Jessie B., Kristina R., & Kelly Y., who had some 'splaining to do on her last birthday.

*****

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Tuesday
Dec022014

Wreck Encounters of the Worst Kind

Have you experienced a Wreck Encounter with an Unexplainable Sweet Object (USO)? Watch for these signs!

 

Wreck Encounter of the First Kind: Visual sighting less than 50 feet away that shows considerable -- albeit completely useless -- detail.

Your guess is as good as mine.

 

Wreck Encounter of the Second Kind: A physiological effect is manifested, such as confusion or discomfort in the viewer.

*hurk*

 

Wreck Encounter of the Third Kind: An animated creature is present. These include bipeds,

 

um... [head tilt]... robots?

 

and whatever these are:

On the plus side, they don't seem able to breathe our atmosphere.

 

Wreck Encounter of the Fourth Kind: Direct communication between wrecks and humans.

Shhhh! Don't distract me... I can -- almost -- make it out...

 

Wreck Encounter of the Fifth Kind: Death associated with an Unexplainable Sweet Object.

Poor Mickey. It was a real blood bath.

(We experts call this "wrecksanguination.")

 

Wreck Encounter of the Sixth Kind: The creation of a human/USO hybrid.

THE POD PEOPLE ARE COMING.

 

If you've had a Wreck Encounter with a USO, send Cake Wrecks photographic evidence right away!
(Just don't get caught taking the pictures...)

We WANT to Believe!!!

 

Out of this world thanks to Anabel J., Cat, Anony M., Mark H., Nate W., Bridget A., & Robert A. for helping prove wrecks are out there. (Um, wait a minute, guys... That's NOT one of the accepted hand gestures...)

*****

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