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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May052017

Now THESE Are Cakes You Send To Internet Trolls

A lot of folks are sending me this story of a baker turning mean internet comments into "tasty troll cakes." In a nutshell, you pay her to write someone's mean comment on a cake, and then send that person the cake. That's right, you punish an internet troll... by sending them free baked goods.

Anyone else see the inherent flaw in this plan? I mean, I get the visual metaphor of eating your own words, but if that cake isn't beet-flavored with Miracle Whip icing, then what is even the point.

Still, if you're determined to pay your hard-earned dollars to send mean people cake, then allow me to at least make a few design suggestions:

Except you're not sorry, are you? NO YOU ARE NOT.
(Also, rainbows! Whee!)

 

A true classic with bonus head-scratching potential. Plus more rainbows.

 

There's the purely sarcastic approach:

 

Did your internet troll give you an especially patronizing "tip?"
Then please please please send this one:

 

Or finally, there's the extra innocent, nothing-to-see-here, no really, that's TOTALLY safe to eat approach:

"Pay no mind to the webcam inside the cake box lid. Go on. HAVE SOME JUST DESSERTS. Er, I mean just dessert. Yeah. Heheheheh."

 

Thanks to M.J., Dawn Z., Anony M., Kyle I., & Gregory S. who also recommend "One Bon-Bon Is Poison." for the perfect fake-out. (OR IS IT??)

*****

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Thursday
May042017

Who's In Trouble? It's Gonna Be MAY

There's a very important phrase you need to know today, minions.

No, that's not quite right.

 

Still not there.

 

This... doesn't even make sense.

 

[silently banging head on keyboard]

(Nay, I say. NEIGH!)

 

C'mon, what's the one phrase every Star Wars fan needs to know on May the 4th??

Theeere it is.

 

Thanks to Ralph J., Peter R., Ellen H., Mikhaila, & Matt B. for Star Wreckin' across the universe. Boldly going forward, even, 'cuz he can't find reverse.

*****

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