Let's Play Telephone

Ever wonder what could possibly go wrong with a simple inscription on a basic cake? Well, WONDER NO MORE. 

Below I've listed the inscriptions some of my trusty Wreckporters ordered from professional bakeries, followed by the cakes they actually received:

"God Bless Neal"

I hear it's His middle name.

"Welcome Baby Arnold"

The spacing is what really sells it.

"Happy Birthday Mom"

Now that's a cake only a mother named Bob could love.

[Btw, I'm starting to wonder if a baker named Bob is doing these on purpose. And if so, I want to shake Bob's hand.]

"Congrats British Lit"

I hope this starts a trend; I want to see all the ways bakers butcher "Kyrgyzstanian."

"Happy Bandwidth Upgrade Day"

"Band With Upgrade" is the name of my retro Steam Powered Giraffe cover band.

(I realize only about 3 people will get that joke... and I'm ok with that.)

"Grats to Dad"

I like to think this is the baker's revenge on everyone who shortens "congratulations" to "grats." "CONGRATS" IS SHORT ENOUGH, PEOPLE.

"Old Dirty Thirty"

At some point you stop being surprised. Or so I'm told.

"When I'm 64"

That's actually how John says it when he's singing in his "drunk McCartney" voice, so maybe Kit sang her order over the phone. Drunk. While imitating Paul McCartney. 

(Don't keep us in suspense, now, Kit: did you?)

Thanks to Colleen C., Suzanne R., Morgan & Eric, Katie D., Ethan D., Leslie C., Becky L., & Kit K. for really phoning it in today. ;)

*****

P.S. Need a cool gift for the person who has everything? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet:

Fresh Cut Pop-Up Bouquet, "Pumpkin Harvest"

I've been raving about Fresh Cut Paper for a while now, and they just added two new Fall designs: this "Pumpkin Harvest" bouquet:

...and a pop-up wreath!? Ohhh, this is cool:

When I send my grandmother cards she likes to tack them up up on her wall, so I just sent her this one, which is meant to hang up, and doubles as pretty Fall decor. There are more styles, too, so go see all the Fresh Cut Paper designs here.

Wedding Wrecks, Fangirl Edition

Imani wanted this cake for her wedding, only with bright lime green flowers instead of pink:

She got this:

Yeeeah.

And Meredith asked for this design with little pumpkins instead of apples:

... but she got this:

Preach.

And finally, as a baker herself, Zoey decided to keep her wedding cake design SUPER simple to avoid potential wreckage:

No piping required! Just plain frosted tiers and colored sugar crystals!

Say it with me, now:

What could possibly go wrong?

Oooh, Sherlock, you so bad.

Thanks to Imani R., Meredith R., & Zoey K., who want to know if I seriously just turned this post into a SuperWhoLock love fest. And the answer is yes, YES I DID.

*****

P.S. Brace yourself for our cheesiest product review yet:

King Arthur Better Cheddar Cheese Powder

So John is a popcorn fanatic, and has spent a lifetime sampling every kind of cheese popcorn he can find. His all-time favorite is from a mall kiosk called Doc Popcorn, where they pop and mix it fresh, but he reports the next best thing is adding this cheese powder to a bag of microwave popcorn.

John's tried half a dozen top-rated cheese powders on Amazon, and reports King Arthur is the winner for the most tangy cheesiness - with Hoosier Hill Farm at a close second. (And Hoosier Hill has twice as much for the same price, so it's the better bargain.)

So hey, if you love fresh-popped, punch-you-in-the-face cheesey cheese popcorn, try this! And according to the reviews you can also use it to make cheese sauce (just add butter and milk), sprinkle it on veggies, soups, baked potatoes... I mean, it's cheese, y'all. What's not to love?