Expect Less. Laugh More.

Have a heart, bakers.

Don't do this:

And never promise the bride this:

When you're going to deliver this:

Hey, while I've got you here, let's talk about zebra stripes:

THESE ARE ZEBRA STRIPES.

These, on the other hand ...

Well, I'm pretty sure those are zebra sperm.

But then again, I tend to see things in black and white.

And finally, bakers, just because you might question a couple's choice for their wedding cake order:

... that's no reason to punish them further!

("Hey, you with the shotgun. Put this cake out of its misery.")

Thanks to Anony M., Courtney T., Michelle T., & RT for the bang-up job hunting these down. 

*****

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Say My Name, Say My Name

At some point during a bakery phone order, you really have to ask yourself:

"Why's it taking this guy so long to write my name down, anyway?"

And for future reference, I actually prefer it "with just won 'N' in Orange."

Still, the important thing is that I know I'm your one and only.

Or...that.

Also, you should know that of all the variations my name is subjected to, the worst of them all, without a doubt, is "Iffer."

I said, "one F!!"

Jenn M., Lisa W., & Krista K.? You have been warned.

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