The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Shower Cake ENDS HERE

You know how I'm always telling you baby butt cakes could be so much worse?

Things are about to get so much worse.

Heads up!

Wow. This is so stinkin' sexy, I almost didn't even notice the outie belly button.

Because fetus cookies are SO last year:

Goes great with mother's milk.

And lots of screaming.

Proving once again that bakers are taking posts on this blog as inspiration:

I'm torn (ha! Ew.) between asking what that gray pouch thing hanging out is and desperately, desperately, not wanting to know. In fact, know what? Don't tell me. I'm never having kids, so knowing what the inner lining's poop chute or whatever looks like is just one of those things I never need to know. Seriously. Leave me to my blissful ignorance.

And finally, look. I realize that a lot of talent was required to make some of these wrecks - I do! However, no amount of talent will ever make any part of this look yummy to me:

In fact, you could say the amount of talent a baker has when making a placenta has an inverse reaction to how much I want to eat said placenta.

Or, in other words:

SWEET BETTY CROCKER I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN.

Thanks to Matt R., Sarah M., Carl G., & Heather A. for today's gut-busters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to skip lunch.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

This One's For The Ladies

(NOTE: For the ladies, not the kiddies. Still SFW, though.)

NASA wanted to do something special for all the lady astronauts of the world:

And by "special", I mean something big, flaccid, curving to the right, poised to explode into the dark recesses that are out of this world, and that says "Women in Space: We've Come A Long Way".

[biting lip] Wow. So many innuendo-laced jokes, so little time. And if my mom didn't read this blog (Hi, Mom!), you can bet I'd be saying something about the fallacy that men can't organize - much less erect - a project of this size. Or how nice it is to see NASA giving women the upper hand in the space program, so that they, too, can get ahead. In fact, I'd probably wonder aloud if it wasn't rather cold in the exhibit hall, if that wouldn't put too fine a point on it.

However, since my mom *does* read this blog (Hi, Mom!), all I'm going to say is this, and to the cake creator: don't take my good-natured ribbing too hard. The fact that you got a government agency to pay for your services makes you a Wreck star.

And for you deprived souls who didn't get the FotC reference, watch this:

UPDATE: For you doubting Thomases, here's another photo of the same cake:

John is so ridiculously happy about the discovery of this second photo that he's currently singing "Don't Worry, There's Another Shuttle Photo, Be Happy" while I'm typing.

Clearly, I need to get him out of the house more.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: