All Intensive Purposes

It turns out there are some expressions people get wrong ALOT.

So as a public service, here's an easy guide to help you use those phrases correctly. After all, we'd hate to see you...

...hoisted by your own Picard.

[*snerk*]

Let's begin!

An irrelevant argument is a "moot point."

Whereas a cow giving directions is a "moo point."

When you want to end something before it has a chance to start, you "nip it in the bud."

Not the butt. And technically, I think those should be snipped.

(While we're at it, it's the "repository of knowledge," NOT "suppository.")

It's "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less."
But if you're still confused, try drawing a picture:

See how visuals can clear things up?

While we're on the subject, it's "exact" revenge, not "extract."

Either way, though, mission accomplished.

Never use "irregardless."

...unless it's part of the sentence, "Though she knew it would make her guests sick, she ordered the ear, regardless."

The old-fashioned curse is pronounced "doggone."
So try to avoid any versions rated "Arf."

Bow chicka BOW WOW.

And finally, when you really mess something up, you "wreak havoc," not "wreck" it.

o_O

Or on second thought, "wreck havoc" is perfect.

Thanks to Kelli G., Nikki D., Jenny C., Sherrie, Kathy S., Anony M., Megan N., and Frank W., who we would NEVER take for granite.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Spam Poetry

Usually my spam filter is pretty accurate, but this week I've gotten three e-mails that read like some kind of post-modern word salad poetry. I'm assuming they're spam, but then again, maybe they're really some hip new literary project by postmodern word salad poets. Eh? 

So in the spirit of artistic discovery, I've decided to illustrate these literary feats with the most appropriate cakes I could find. ENJOY.

Subject line: hey! :) My name is Margarito!

Artillery fray, 

I must articulate smoothly, it is a terrible wise of many enemy, 

this godson of tormenting children,

...and children cheerful.

èḥῥộ_ ḣûῂ?ṕẹvќћ (??) 

[That is a line of unintelligible characters which I can only assume was supposed to link to overpriced weasel aphrodisiacs, but since it isn't clickable in the original e-mail I can't say for sure.]

And painting it I soothe said to exception: 

"it is the riverside of the disadvantage 

and He has sent it to flit my shipboard crustacean."

::flit flit flit::

Alternatively, here's a shoe board crustacean:

[bowing] Ah thank you, thankyouverramuch.

 Subject line: Good day, my name is Nathanial :)

One notwithstanding 

he did with more sincerity bluff so strange in Moscow,

 a life of astounding but salutation, 

(C'mon, what are the odds I'd find a cake of a butt salutation?) 

(Oh, sorry was that just one "t"? My bad.)

Piping and plating, he was degenerating.

 
(You know what they say about small pens, right?)

(Smaller pocket protectors.) 

Subject line: hey!! My name is Broderick!

The amass had feigned, 

but coldly was some embody thereon.

Cuttlefish assureed merrily as jersey began talking, 

amiably bashful, 

with drowsy one sponge emerge at her foresight to unify its broth on her.

Whoah there, Bobby boy, you're not unifying your broth on ANYBODY today, hear me?

 

Thanks to Steve B., Shannon P., Candi F., Alexis I., Heitha B., Rachael E., Anony M., Kylie S., & Audra B. for the wreckiest cakes in all the 'verse.

*****

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