I Can See Clearly Now... And... EW

I don't remember my 2012 slang very well - was this an actual thing people said?

"You're eggs is prego."

There are so many things wrong with that sentence, my brain just imploded.

Still, at least it was a "closed belly" shower.

What does that mean?

Aw, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

BEHOLD!!

The "Peek-A-Boo, I Eat You" Appetite-Suppress-Inator!

(Have I been watching too much Phineas and Ferb reruns? Yes, yes I have.)

Now, that's pretty good, but you must admit: the baby-embedded-in-clear-gelatin is kind of hard to see.

So for maximum "Inator" effectiveness, we're gonna need to open that baby (belly) up.

THAT'S BETTER.

[head tilt]

Hmmm, but is it possible to make the whole thing shinier?

You know, in a more seeping, moist, and gelatinous kind of way?

YES!

Just think, with these Appetite-Suppress-Inators, soon, Cake Wrecks will RULE the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA! Mwuah-ha-haaaa!

Thanks to Rish, Rachel G., Karen Q., & Diana M., who'd all look adorable in brown fedoras, I just know it.

*****

P.S. That reminds me of my Wonder Womb DIY, but if you're not feeling crafty you can always buy this:

"Ivy the Plush Uterus"

I'm told the name"Ivy" is a play on "In Vitro," but I still say Stabby McCrampus would have been a better name.

When Given The Choice, I Do Prefer My Watermelon Boneless

Could we pause for a moment to appreciate the fact that someone was PAID to do this?

Paid. Actual money. Like, it's their JOB... to do that.

[sob]

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Sure, you might think the baker would know better:

But let's face it, anyone who claims that's a hockey stick (with a white puck, natch) has already lost touch with reality. Maybe she figured you were washing your little white hockey balls.

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"So you want 'Happy Birthday, Matthew?'"

"Yes, but it's 'Mathew' with one T."

"Got it!"

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Technically correct, but I still say the deli sticker guy needs an intervention:

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Granted, not all bakeries are familiar with Bastille Day, the French National Day celebrated every July 14th. After all, it's a French thing.

Er, I did mention it was French, right?

Ok, good.

You can look now:

Best. Deal. Evahhhh.

Thanks to Cait H., Bridgett B., Heather J., Lisa B., & Nancy E. for pardoning our French.

*****

Cupcake Rubber Ducks

Listen, this post has rubber ducks in it and that’s all the excuse I need.