The Clucking Dead

Because bakeries are running out of ideas, I give you:

John Deere Zombie Chickens!

Also known as The Clucking Dead.

On a scale of 1 to gouging-out-your-own-eyes, how disturbing is this?

Personally, I think it falls somewhere between "Ped Eggs" and toddlers-who-won't-break-eye-contact.
[shudder]

But really, the best part are the buttons. Go on, think about it.

Ever heard the expression, "getting sh**-faced?"

'Cuz someone took that WAY too literally

Ew.

Angie wanted to get her friend a cake, but there was a problem: apparently "Happy 50th Birthday, Melissa" wouldn't fit.

But don't worry, the baker was still able to squeeze something out:

So moving.

(Do you suppose the baker was wiped after this? Flushed with success? Ready for the next stream of orders? Hey, where are you going? [HAHA THAT WAS STILL A PUN] Come back! I haven't used my famous "You're in trouble" line yet!)

Thanks to Sarah P., Dimitra L., Gina V., & Angie W. for caring enough... to give a crap.

Sound Off

When bakers choose to wreck for a spell:

I like the slightly exasperated tone: "Well, come back."

Heck yeah - and I'll take A BIG ONE, pls.

Funnily enough, if you sound it out this kind of works:

Bay-B? Eh?

I like to use the made-up word "embiggen" sometimes - it's just fun and silly, like "adorkable" or grown women wearing rompers. So needless to say, this made me grin:

"In the bigening, there were no rompers, high-waisted jeans, or ironically ginormous glasses. And it was good."

Ok, wreckies, let's see if you can figure out this one on your own:

Rittens = rampaging kittens, right?

("Possible side effects include sneezing, tiny scratches, and erectile dysfunction.")

And finally:

Hear, hear!

Thanks to Becky B., Cricket C., Chelsey C., Lauren L., Jack B., Lola B., & M.N. for sounding off.

P.S. If you really DO want to thank someone with audio, then check these out:

Little silicone cases for your Apple airpods! I may have to stock up on the Stitch one for friends, it’s too adorable.