Expect Less. Laugh More.

Have a heart, bakers.

Don't do this:

And never promise the bride this:

When you're going to deliver this:

Hey, while I've got you here, let's talk about zebra stripes:

THESE ARE ZEBRA STRIPES.

These, on the other hand ...

Well, I'm pretty sure those are zebra sperm.

But then again, I tend to see things in black and white.

And finally, bakers, just because you might question a couple's choice for their wedding cake order:

... that's no reason to punish them further!

("Hey, you with the shotgun. Put this cake out of its misery.")

Thanks to Anony M., Courtney T., Michelle T., & RT for the bang-up job hunting these down. 

*****

In my quest to fill the house with ALL RAINBOWS, I found these beauties:

Color-Changing LED Nightlight, 2 Pack

They have 3 different color modes, come in white or silver bases, and are on sale this week: $10 for 2!

Stop. Helping.

It's only natural, I know. You see all the wreckage on this blog and you think, "Ok, but surely I can keep my order from being wrecked, right? I mean, all I have to do is help the baker out a little!

"Why, if I just spell it out clearly, military style..."

Nice job, Ace.

"Or maybe if I write it all down...

"And if I indicate which part is the actual text..."

"Um... Or what if I ask for just a single letter? That's easy, right?"

Color me impressed. Or magenta. 

"Ok, fine, I get it. You've made your point. No text. I guess I'll just ask for a flower or something."

"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHH!!"

Thanks to Katy E., Cristina B., Terry M., Brandt H., & Anony M. for making this post literally painful. 

*****

P.S. I've been looking for extra non-candy options to give out for Halloween this year, and I'm loving this adorable sticker pack:

 Waterproof Halloween Sticker Pack, 200 Pcs

There's a huge variety, and you get 200 pieces for $9 Prime. Great option for teachers or party packs, too!