My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Marcus and the New Job

So Marcus gets a job with Gateway computers, and his old office mates get him a cake to say goodbye:

Obviously, this raises a few questions.

Going by the illustration, either Marcus is a wee little man or Gateway has had so many budget cuts that they're back to using the Colossus computers from World War II. Marcus also has three legs and types with his feet. He's lucky, though, because he's been hired at Gateway's exclusive beach-front cubicle office, where each week's work is delivered via the time-tested "message-in-a-bottle" method.


The bakery lost the order and slapped something together at the last minute.

One of those two, anyway. I think I like the first explanation better, though.

Maryn M., I agree: the word "enable" should probably never be on a cake.

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Reader Comments (52)

I like the addition of the plastic trees on either side of the cake. I guess they symbolize the fact that the poor fellow might be outdoors more often in this new job. Attention to detail -- always important! LOL!

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLose That Girl

I love how the designer had to emphasize the "Gateway" aspect. I will say that at least s/he had actually seen a computer at some time in the past: I remember seeing one cake on display at a SuperTarget that suggested that the designer had worked with computers at one time...back when Babbage Difference Engines were state of the art.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTexas Triffid Ranch

I can see that scene from the office playing out where they are passing the cake around and Milton doesn't get a piece. I always feel so sad for Milton, and now I feel sad for Marcus too.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhorriblelicenseplates

Why do I get the feeling there's a weird story about Marcus behind this cake. Maybe he was one of those guys that never did much because he said he wanted to "be outdoors" - and rather than taking a job as a park ranger or something sensible he wound up with yet another cubicle job hunched over a computer.
Or maybe I'm just confusing Marcus with my ex boyfriend. :-D

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

The definition of irony: The ad for a CCC book on this blog.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Oh, c'mon. That looks JUST like the commercial where the guy's on the beach with his laptop. You know it does.

Angie (from over at

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

I see this person has the same drawing skills as me! ... which is exactly why I DON'T decorate cakes!

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

On a brighter note, this cake probably made Marcus extra glad he was getting away from the workplace that would serve this horrible wreck in his "honor."

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRose

He either got a promotion or they thought his work was so bad that they told him it was a promotion and shipped him to some deserted island with the WWII computer & him not knowing it was the original computer, "Marcus we need you to work on this top secret computer and we'll bring you to a tropical island retreat for it...(snicker, snicker)"!

Either way poor guy!

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Barnes Crew

OMG! I'm gonna get fired. I am wiping tears. This is one of the funniest cakes ever. Sniff sniff. I can't take it. I want Marcus to come back and go away again JUST so that I can see the new cake!!!

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTiffanie

Marcus, Hope your new co-workers will spring for a better cake when you eventually leave them....

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

I actually *like* this cake.
Yes, I do.
Perhaps because I am hoping *my* new job will enable *me* to be outdoors more!
(and no, this cake was not made for me!)

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterquinn

Stick figures?? My eyes could not get over the tan---oh, its suppose to be sand. Whoa. Thank you "all adither". A beach, ah?! Now I see it. I just needed these suggestions to jump start my imagination. Too funny.

My youngest turns 21 in ten days. I am so tempted to (create a wreck) order him a cake. Surely, the cake folks behind the counters are not on to us?

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

to be honest, I think that without the writing or drawing the cake would be least to me. the background looks like waves crashing on the shore. sort of pretty, if it wasn't wrecked.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermeg

I think this is a contender for

"Hope you can finally get rid of that spare tire with your job change! Cuz you certainly don't get any exercise now!"

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRozie

I think Marcus's co-workers were extremely bitter that he had chosen to leave their company and work for Gateway so they chose to work out their bitterness in sarcastic cake form.

The drawing symbolizes someone's ultimate fantasy of Marcus eventually being eaten and utterly destroyed by his laptop, which has become giant and monstrous due to the island life that Marcus so desperately wanted. Now THAT'S irony. ;)

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What in the world is that little thing in the corner next to the tree?


October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrochet by Momma J

Let's see..
The stick figure was done by Little Johnny, who bugged his cake decorator mommy to "let me try it" on take your kid to work day?
Mom thought it was soooooo cute, that she promised him it would stay that way.
Then she added the plastic trees and writing to give it the professional touch.
It could've happened..LOL
~Amy B.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think this cake could be vastly improved by removing the terrible drawing, cleaning up the writing, and sprinkling on some crushed graham cracker to make the sand more grainy. Other than thats its not too terrible.

The thing in the corner is a colorful surfboard sticking out of the sand.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

I can see arms, but that makes him a one-legged person sitting in a giant chair with an even more giant computer . . . on the beach!

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Delaney

Oh new favourite !!
Jen you are a genius.
I love it !

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhammo

I'm thinking Marcus's coworkers are trying to tell him he needs to get a little sun. Look how white he is!

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterliz

I like the surfboard hanging out in the sound, like that's his new mode of transportation. Looks like computers weren't the only budget cut.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhat's Her Face

Marcus got a job helping John Locke push the button?

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna


There's a lot about this cake I don't get, but especially the little palm trees (fronds)?

What the heck do they mean?

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO


A BIG never mind. Now I see. The stick dude is AT THE BEACH working on his oversized LAPTOP or PC.

My bad.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

They just came up with that message, so the decorator wouldn't have to spell "Congratulations"!! :)

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlabdogs42

Gateway is currently laying people off! He will soon take the park ranger job, or be a naturalist on the Missouri River or is, after all, within walking distance of the big cow-painted buildings.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Is it me, or is that a message that should in fact be written in the card that goes along with the cake, and not on the cake itself? Cake messages should be short and, no pun intended, sweet. Okay, pun intended.

There are so many free clipart images that could be assembled into a single image that could be used to screen a cute and unambiguously-limbed character in a beach scene on the cake... why does no one ever think of that?

That said, I have a friend who insists on doing all her family birthday cakes, and she insists on writing messages atop them with store-bought icing tubes meant for that purpose, and they always end up looking something like this...messy and weird.

I shouldn't be blogging with migraine. The sugar really gets to me! ;)

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOphelia

The three legs comment had me laughing out loud. Thanks for making my day, and making my four year old think I'm a little crazy...

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

That cake is really sad ... They obviously don't care about and won't miss this guy, there's no 'we'll miss you!' or 'good luck!'. That message reads like they were all desperately wracking their brains to think of something nice to say to someone they didn't like very much.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ugh: this whole cake is just messy, smeary, and does indeed look hastily assembled. Hope it tasted good (that's the only important thing, imo)!

I agree with Ophelia: that inscription is waaaay too long, and should have gone on the card. Maybe the decorator is Scandinavian and was going for the horre vaccui/gripping beast feeling (where all space is filled with design elements). No, there's too much negative space at the bottom, with the little pale stick man and his coal-fired laptop.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNeb

It's a 1960s Bond movie villain's computer. That beach is downwind of a secret volcano base of operations.

Aside from the writing and the stick figure, this cake isn't too bad. At least they didn't go nuts with an airbrush.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

The message is subliminal: We hate you Marcus, and we hope you are washed away by an enormous tsunami.

Run, Marcus, run!

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

BWAHA! Gotta love a great stick figure cake....and the Gateway emphasis....

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

I think the big question about this cake for me is, "Why are the beach, surfboard, and palm trees fairly realistic, yet Marcus and his giant computer are seemingly see-through and apparition-like, sort of like Wonder Woman's invisible jet?"

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like how they bakery said "like everyone else!" Hilarious.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

i love the sad little plastic palm trees. . .

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, it looks more like Poor Marcus has only one leg, only one arm, and a stick to poke at keys with. Maybe it's a drumstick.

And what is with that sand? It looks like neapolitan ice cream that has melted.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm especially impressed with the sand creature that seems to be appearing out of the place where the beach becomes the water...

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

Poor Marcus, I don't think his co-workers liked him much.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I think this is a situation in which "Good luck with your new job!" would probably suffice.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenster

Lucky Ben! Not only does he have the worlds largest laptop, but he's also smart enough to carry around his own chair for when he feels like doing a little beachside hacking. No sand for that kid!

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMs Unreliable

It's a good job he's going to the beach, it looks like he could certainly do with a tan.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPixel

I wish I could type with my feet and that I had the beach cubicle D:

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, if all they wanted was to draw was a stick figure man, they really missed a trick by not copying one with a realistic computer from xkcd.

Enable made me laugh. At least they didn't go for facilitate.

October 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor


I hope that was a custom-designed cake... custom-designed by a FOUR-YEAR-OLD for his DADDY.

Anyone else should lose their master cake decorator's license.

October 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteroboewan

I wonder if they were trying to suggest the guy did nothing but look at porn all day and that he should do that on the beach instead of at the office? The three legs comment had me in stitches, but maybe it had a deliberate ring of truth to it...

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteradamhorner

I saw the cake and wondered if maybe marcus had bad gas and they were really hoping that he'd spend more time outside for their own sakes.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermarla

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