My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Supermom VS the Diabolical Decorator of Doom

And now it's time for another installment of.... SUPERMOM!!

[Duh da daaa! Da da da ta da DAAAA!]

This week, Supermom plans out little Annie's birthday party.

Annie: "Wow, Supermom, my birthday decorations look fantastic! This is going to be the coolest Wizard of Oz party EVER!"

Supermom: "Oh, it was nothing, really. After I finished all of the laundry, balanced the checkbook, and then reworked my dissertation on the ending of world hunger, I had plenty of time!"

Annie: "Oh, wow, are those cookies for the party, too?"

Supermom: "They sure are! It took four days, and I had to stay up all night hand-piping the little rainbows, but all that time and effort were well worth seeing the smile on your darling face. And just wait 'til you see the great Yellow Brick Road cake I ordered! Your father should be here with it any minute..."

Meanwhile, at the Bakery of Badness:

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: "What's this? Supermom has ordered a Wizard of Oz birthday cake for her daughter? Hee-hee! Oh, this is too perfect! Finally, revenge will be MINE!!!"

Diabolical Sidekick: "What will you do, oh Great Bastion of Badness? Oh Foul Foiler of Fondant? Oh Illustrious Icer of Ickines, Dastardly Decorator of Destruction, and Cruel Crafter of..."

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: [interrupting] "Do shut up, Sidekick; I'm trying to think."

Diabolical Sidekick: "A thousand apologies, Oh Putrescent Purveyor of Pastries!"

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: [rubbing hands together] "Now, the trick is to make something so vile, so heinous, that no one will ever, EVER think it is a yellow brick road with a rainbow over it. But how? What tool in my arsenal is capable of such complete and utter hideousness?

"AHA! I've got it! Diabolical Sidekick, fetch me the Airbrush of Atrocity!"

Later, back at the party:


Annie: [sobbing] "My Yellow Brick Road cake! It looks like an old squished banana! And why does it dead end in a river? And is THAT supposed to be a rainbow?!?"

Supermom: "Never fear, dear daughter: Supermom is here! Now be a good girl and hand Mommy her piping bags."

So Supermom (aka Amanda S.) re-frosted the cake at home, thus foiling the evil plans of the Diabolical Decorator of Doom and saving the day. (You can see she's already begun piping over the "road" in the photo there.) Good work, Supermom! Score another one for truth, justice, and sugary-baked goods for all!

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Reader Comments (184)

Oh really? Did they REALLY make her pay for that??? By "yellow brick road" did the decorator think "mold covered path through a field"?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

I take it our Supermom will be baking Annie's cake herself next year....
And squished banana is what I thought as soon as I saw the image, too! (Eating a cake colored like a squished banana would confuse me almost as much as eating one shaped like a corn.)

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So very ugly and sad. Especially with those adorable cookies on stage right!


November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGabrielle

I'd like to have seen a picture of the finished cake after Supermom fixed it!

what a horrid yellow brick road.. horrid cake, period!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstephanie h

I want to see how it looked after she fixed it!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Jen, with this I think you completely elevated your CakeWrecks game. Not only do you get your quips in, but the story! The vision!

Basically, this rocked. Thanks for doing what ya' do!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

jaw to desk!

Really that was what they thought the yellow brick road looked like?!?!
Way to go to Mom's bad** piping skillz and getting it right!!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbella1021

Oh My Flying Monkees! I cannot believe they actually brought that home. I wish we could have seen the repaired version. I will have to show this as a good reason why I make my own. At least if it looks awful its my own darn fault!

Mary Ellen

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary Ellen

Hey. Uh. That cake sucks, but is there some nakedness going on in the upper left-hand corner?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

OH MY. I really don't think I would have ever payed for that. What a nightmare!

But I do have do have to give kuddos to the mom for the rest of the party.


November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary0

*sighs* It's all fun and games till the flying monkeys get ahold of the piping bag. Then the yellow brick road turns into a moldy banana.

This is...astoundingly ugly. And as a Wizard of Oz fan I think it makes me cry just a little. *sniffle* How ugly.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

And then Annie wakes up and realizes that it was all a dream, right?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Im surprised she didn't make her own cake, I mean, considering the cookies!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

Oh gosh. I think Amanda is right. There's a lil' somebody stark nakkies in the upper right of the cake photo... (Or is that a hand? Looks like a belly button and legs...)

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter7Seas

my friend put me onto this blog about a month ago. i took the better part of last week and yesterday off from work and i partied my ass off. im back at the office today still hungover and i cant for the life of me remember what it is i even DO. this post has made my morning. thank you!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJay

LOL. I was thinking flattened, decapitated giraffe, but moldy banana is just as good. Go SuperMom!

Laura G

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Totally agree with Brian, great writing! Horrid, horrid, cake. Show us what it looked like after!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterQueen Rosebud

As a HUGE Wizard of Oz fan I think this may be the saddest wreck I've ever seen!
Hope that decorator gets water thrown on them and melts...evil witch!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

What are the little white dots all over - flying monkey doo?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, that is really sad. I'm so glad Supermom could fix it. I only wish we could see the final product. I hope they complained to the bakery!!!!!!!!!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Why are the cookies stored in the bathroom?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimba

I want to know if Superdad made sure they didn't have to pay for that. If not, I'm sure Supermom turned him into Dunderdad right quick.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUbermother

Maybe the decorator was trying to modernize the yellow brick road.

Leopard print is very in nowadays!


P.S. I want to see Mom's finished product. MOM POST A PICTURE!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That has to be the saddest cake I have ever seen.

And your commentary, the funniest!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLilli

Wow. I think that Decorator of Doom spent too much time in the poppy fields...if ya know what I mean. *winkwinknudgenudge*
C'mon...brick road. Rectangles. All dots are disqualified.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMissa Sue

Holy cow. Not even your dire warnings prepared me for that...that...there really is not a word to describe that Wretched Wreck of the West.
-Another Jen

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How sad. It's a good thing SuperMom has the skills to fix it (and the time, I didn't have the time when I got my last wreck).

The nakedness looks like a small child, so probably had on shorts or a diaper or something.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRedheaded Mama

So cool ! Supermom is my sister !!!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJames ~n~ Amber

Well, the piping on the side of the cake looks nice at least....

But, um, yeah. Totally missed the mark. I was actually stunned at what she got.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Mold alert. Mom is covering the mold??? Please mom, scrape the mold off first. Please.

That cake is THE worst ever. Yikes.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

That is one seriously tragic cake. I have done a couple of Oz cakes for my own kid and the whole bad banana motif somehow never entered my mind. God bless the mom, and where on Earth did she find those fabulous Dorothy cups????

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Do cake decorators not realize that by agreeing to make a cake out of their range of expertise they may just ruin someones birthday? I'm glad Annie's mom was able to fix it. I hope she gets a refund.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Poor Annie! It's a Hard Knock Life.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterReverend Ramona

Clearly this was just another case of miscommunication. The decorator didn't hear yellow brick road as much as yellow blech mold.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

That's exactly why I decorated the cake myself for my son's Wizard of Oz-themed party last month. When I asked a few local bakeries about the possibility of a yellow brick road and a rainbow or something, they looked at me like I was talking gibberish. So I bought an undecorated cake and went after it myself. And I'm certainly not a cake decorator, not in the least, but even I did a better job than this wreck.

I thought it was a diseased headless giraffe, myself.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

I definitely wan tto see the after cake, too!! Is there a pic? Share it, share it!!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Just awful. The clenched fist resting on the side of the cake box in the left of the picture pretty much says it all.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramyd

dear jen:

please write a book of nothing but awesome puns and and alliterations. it will make you billions of dollars.


p.s.- i too thought decapitated giraffe. is there an after pic from Supermom?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

am the Granmother a.k.a. Nonni of that disaster. First, that is a little nakedness in the one corner. That's my youngest grandgirl sitting on the counter watching us try and transform this hideous mess. I too wouldn't have paid for it but when you send dad's to pick things up like that they just think maybe they're supposed to look like that !!! I know that there are pictures of the somewhat fixed cake. It seems we were the only ones apalled by it or we have friends that are just too kind to want to puke on the cake.
I think ne next cakes we'll do ourselves. Annie's mom ( my daughter) is very talented and a very good baker. Maybe I can get her to post a finished product picture.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternonni

I think that decorator had too many poppies. I would have rather served that other, *male* wizard cake to my little girl than this one! Can we get a pic of the cake after Supermom finished with it?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTauna

i hope she took a photo after she fixed it so she can take it back to the idiot who decorated it and show them how it's supposed to look. cripes! to say their rendition of the yellow brick road looks like an old, squished banana is being kind.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkerry

My 4 y/o son was sitting with me when I opened the site. The first thing he exclaimed when he saw that thing was "Ohhh, a snake cake!"

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

That cake does look a bit moldy. I would like to see what magic supermom was able to do on that cake.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Someone needs to stake out that bakery- what else is coming out of there?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Someone needs to set the flying monkeys after that decorator....eep, that's awful...

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

do we have a picture of the fixed cake?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKerry

maybe the bakery had some of that toxic black mold? it would explan thier lack of cake skilz. dang i hope they got thier money back.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterutaduta

That is absolutely awful. I'd be livid if I paid for a cake like that. Mold was the first thing that came to my mind.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

This post is legen - wait for it - dary! Excellent writing, I kept thinking "how bad is this cake?"

And still, even with plenty of warning, that is one AWFUL cake! Did the decorator think that the Tin Man left oil splotches all over the yellow brick road?

Even the comments are funny - "I see naked people!" That is a hand in the upper left corner, not a naked person!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Ummmm, what are those little white dots leading up to the "rainbow" supposed to be? I really love the reworking of the rainbow colors... Yellow, Red, Pink Purple, Blue.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersarah @ Sweet Endeavors

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