My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

If the Shoe Fits...'ll be a miracle.

After our purse and shoe Sweets the other week, I thought you guys might like to see the shoe on the other foot, so to speak.

Because, yes, the actual foot IS included:

Ah, if only they'd stopped at the boxes...

I've heard of shoes having a square-toe before, but this is ridiculous:

I'd like to pump this baker for more information: does s/he like a lot of sole? Or was the cake knife too slippery? Or, was s/he just being mulish because the order was wedged into a busy work day?

At least this next Wreckerator had the decency to put "cowboy" in quotes:

YeeeeHAW! Head 'em up and boot 'em out, "cowboy!"

Man, if only every CCC could get the I right, guys? Huh? Yuckyuckyuck!

A pair of flip-flops, or an anti-tobacco ad? You be the judge:

Wow, those lungs are positively laced with brown goo.

(Let's take a moment to bask in the glory of that last pun. C'mon. "Laced?" Dude, I am smokin' today.)

Or perhaps they have... [dramatic voice] DISCO FEVER!!

Well, if ever a fever could be transmitted visually, this would be the platform to launch it.

Anyone else feeling a bit trippy looking at this thing? Or is that just the old potato salad talking? (You know how chatty the German kind can get.)

Hm? What's that? You think it could be worse?

Yeah, you're probably right.

In fact...

Oh, wow. Yes, you are most definitely right:


Is it just me, or is that goldfish being a total heel?

Margaret B., Stephanie A., Teri S., Dawn, Elizabeth D., Carly S., & Jenna B., thanks for the kicks.

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Reader Comments (72)

I swear I thought number 4 was rotten strawberries until I read your comments. lol!

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCasey

I thought the flip flops were a watermelon!

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

wasn't there a scene in "Im Gonna Git You Sucka" that had a guy walking around in platforms with fishbowls in the soles? I shudder to think that that might have inspired a cake at all, let alone the last one...

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

What the "H" does a goldfish have to do with a shoe?
And, did you see the Glee cast version of "Safety Dance" ... AWESOME!!! :)

Are you sure that last one is a shoe?
I see a suggestion of piano keys at the very bottom.
A musical...what?
Or if I squint, I see the outlines of a jetski.
Best things are your puns.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

eewww. I vote lungs. flip flops? no. couldn't be. eewww.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Your puns had me rolling today. You were on fire!

You were a shoe in for making my morning.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterduffylou

Karen - while the shoes in "Sucka" were done for comedic effect, they DID sell them "for reals" in the 70s *shudder*.

Oh and thanks guys for the earworm LOL...
"You can dance if you want to..." AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercritter42

I know, that first shoe represents the old Chinese foot-binding tradition, which deforms the foot into...something resembling THAT.

The first platform is way weird--I knew that fad would never last (shoemaker's joke).

The last one (oops!) looks more like a bumper car from the fair than it does a shoe.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

These boots were made for walkin! One of these might get stuck with a cake shoe

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPampered Recipes

4 really does look like rotten strawberries...great collection of cakes fit for a foot! lol

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter6 Die

Yeah, those goldfish shoes were apparently trendy in the 70's. See here:

For those who want to relive the discolicious trend, they now make versions with fake goldfish instead of the real thing, thank goodness.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG--awesome puns today!

what a white foot. are we sure this misshapen thing isn't wearing a sock with the shoe? how tacky!

#2: for pete's sake! there's a shoe sample there to use as a model and they STILL made this shape? and then trimmed it with gold ribbon? ick!

it looks like 3/4 of a 3/4 sleeved shirt.

If the birthday recipient is getting a mercedes, shouldn't it be shaped like a car? *smirk*

#3: pink, yellow and brown? ew. And why are the shoes oozing? or are those yellow dreadlocks? WTH?

#4: oh, that was supposed to be a boot? i thought we were back to phallic cakes. there's something SERIOUSLY wrong with that heel.

#5 "anti-tobacco ad!" LOL I thought it was watermelon or mutant ladybugs (not that they're pink or have antennae normally). sick lungs are DEFINITELY funnier. as cake,that is. they could probably be kidneys, too. with cysts?

#6 is there masking tape inside the shoe??

#7: WHY is there a goldfish in a jar for the heel? the front looks like a little sneaker-like. or like a beached boat.

40-year-old virgin: do you remember the boots the weird guy at the ebay store wanted to buy? they had fish in the heels.... where did this "fashion" statement come from? and where's PETA complaining about cruelty to fish?

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my. There are no words. These are all just SO BAD!

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I take it all of these cakes cake from barefoot bakers, right?

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

I guess baker #2 just ran out of room on the board before getting the front end of the shoe in there. But putting a model shoe next to the wreck so you could confirm how UNLIKE a shoe it is was a bad move.

Baker #3 is obviously working without ever having seen a cowboy boot. Maybe we should chip in and mail him/her one.

As for the one with the live fish in it ... I'm speechless.
... But stay tuned. My next cake is going to have a puppy, a cat, an iguana, a ferret, and a heron in it, all alive, in a big cage made of fondant.

No, it's not. I just made that up.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I am truly basking in the glory of all the puns today. Aaaahhhhhhh

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

haha! I didn't even see the goldfish in the heel until I read the comments. oh my. that's so odd.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I take back everything I ever said about finding shoe cakes boring!!! And I apologize, too. I LOVE THESE SHOE CAKES! In fact, shoe cakes are my new favorite!

The last one might be something other than a shoe, though. I'm thinking it's a "Still Life of Breakfast Table on a busy morning", there's the goldfish in a jar, all ready to go to school for show and tell, the uneaten stack of French toast, and puffy travel cover for a curling iron tossed atop it all. Go ahead, put your foot in there if you must. Lily

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought number 4 was a pair of big pink spotted slugs with brown antennae slithering over a green lawn...

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

I don't think I would have ever guessed that last one was a shoe of any kind!

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I thought the first one was an example of Chinese foot binding too.

The flip flops...again, deformed strawberries. Actually, I thought the guy ran out of green icing and figured he had enough chocolate left over so why not do the stems in that?

The last one: That poor gold fish! To be forever encased in an attempt at the fashion faux-pau that was the 1970's and to be, what probably was meant to be, a disco ball heal. So sad and very ungroovy baby...wait did they still say that then?

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Hey I saw this on Bakerella and thought of you:

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterecuakim

We hereby serve notice that, on behalf of our clients, Dior and Prada, legal action is being persued against the *bakeries* responsible for using our clients' prestigious names in conjunction with an object that is --while "theoretically" a shoe, and also "theoretically" a cake--nevertheless absolute cause for slander and libel.
Thank you, and see you in court.
Dewey, Cheatam & Howe, Attorneys at Law

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Clearly, that first cake is campaigning for the triumphant (and horrifying) return of Chinese foot binding. Or shoes on hooves, because no normal foot has ever been so...trapezoidal.

And I thought those flip flops looked like the saddest strawberries in the world.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthisamericantourist

I am a mature, reasonable dignified adult, but I'm Gonna Get You Sucka is one of my favorite movies although I would never admit it. The scene in that movie is hysterical - the jailed former "Pimp of the Year" reminisces about his former glory then is released to jeers over his clothes. He wear the shoes with the goldfish in them, but they break.

I would so love that cake.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Wonder

Seriously thought the last one was a whale. A blue whale. Guess it was fishy in a different way.

wv: uparti. Can uparti in those shoes? Kirsty MacColl would say "I don't think so".

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Am ashamed to admit I thought the 'flip flops' were a derrière in a thong....oops!

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i still don't see a shoe in the last one .... something is fishy there...

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

That last one is (hopefully) an ode to Disco Stu.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

This totally CLOGged up my internet today.

(work with me, people)

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

OMG these cakes were HILARIOUS, but when your comments were added to them- I was crying with laughter!!

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett Robyn

The flip flops could also be diseased kidneys. Yeah, not sure which is worse.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJamesterCK

Wow, who knew that people wanted to eat shoes in the first place. But apparently they do- just maybe not these particular ones.

Jen, you really stepped up with the puns today!

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

How some some people get baking jobs?

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, this is the first time that you had to tell me what I was looking at in every photo except the first. And the only reason I figured out the first one was the writing on the boxes.

The flipflops one is wrong on so many levels. It looks like pizza crust with green icing that is thicker than the crust. It doesn't even look like a giant cookie. Never, ever would have guessed flipflops.

Excuse me, but I have to go lie down now.

wv: tablogi - Jen's new blog about tables.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

the cowboy boot looked more like a... me than anything.

It took me a second to figure out why the anti-smoking cake was included in these shoes.

And fashion faux pas or not, eating a cake that's been decorated around a life fish is just...icky.

wv: extas Will the wreckorators of these shoe cakes please extas the building?

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercorianne

Did anyone else notice the totally forgotten tiny plastic shoe on the second one?

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA J

I think that cowboy boot decorater has been practicing hammers and got a little confused

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

Huh... that last one is a shoe?? I could swear that's a tin of sardines on a stack of sliced bread.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Rosenzweig

Okay, is the flip flop thing supposed to be a cake or flatbread? It kinda looks like a moldy tortilla with something grown in a petri dish melting on top. That "cake" makes me very sad...on the other, uh, foot, we have Jen's commentary, which is HI-larious! Thanks!


June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Only the puns were funny in this bunch. This is the ugliest pile of cake "stuff" I have ever seen. Occasionally I think someone is salting the mine with contrived silliness, but nobody could deliberately do anything as bad as these. I think you should be publishing the names of the bakers/bakeries in these cases. Maybe with no comments :-). Norine

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, it's not like shoes and flip flops aren't readily available to use as reference.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentervjhreeves

I don't see flip flops or lungs I see a rashy butt.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I thought the flip flop cake was a weird butterfly at first.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMigratingCoconut

I agree with Casey; I thought the flip-flop lungs were a bad imitation of strawberries!!! :D

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSofia L

ROFL! The puns had me giggling here the whole way through...thanks for the laugh (as usual)!

And I thought the flip flops were strawberries...

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

To be Frank (like to change my name every now & then), I have to say that I don't see a disco-feverish shoe with the pink/blue thing.
I see a shoddy thing that I would title,
"Nursing Home Slipper Meets Bridge Pylon."
There is NO WAY an actual human could wear something in that shape--it's FLAT and angled so that a human foot would be on its toes--there's no place for the ball of the foot!!!!!
I need to calm down; at least no one has to wear it because it's not a real shoe...
...sad enough that someone might be expected to eat it. =^>.<^=

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That white one for Mecedes even has a plastic shoe in the corner in case you don't know what a high heel looks like. You're think the wreckorator could stop and compare.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShayna

@Karen,I remember that! I thought they were the coolest shoes in the world until they broke and the fish were out of water. I cried for hours over those poor fish. I was four...
These cakes are all literally painful and embarrassing to look at but the boot one really takes the cake. I honestly had no friggin clue what is was even with the "cowboy". I had actually temporarily forgotten that cowboy boots existed. Rough. Just rough rough rough.

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

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