News Bites

This week's "top" headlines, illustrated by Wrecks.

Because that's how the news should be told.

"That's 'Sir' to you!" Star Trek's Patrick Stewart knighted.

And to mark this happy occasion, the saddest Star Trek cake I have ever seen:

Eesh. That's boldly going, all right.

Tiger Woods Hits Three Fans With His Balls

This golf cake really fits the story to a "tee," don't you think?

From the article:

Asked what he discovered at Muirfield Village, Woods laughed.

“Well, I’m capable of playing four rounds in a row,” he said. “Thank you.”

Subway Teaches World What "Tessellate" Means By Finally Agreeing to Do It To Their Cheese

Note: This cheese is not tessellated.
Nor is it cheese.
Nor do I want to sink my teeth into it.

Our final headline is actually from last month, but I had to include it anyway. Here's why:

Student Being Mugged Saved By Actual Ninjas

A-ha! See, I knew it! Ninjas are both awesome AND workers for good.

Why, just look at them all here, enjoying a friendly game of soccer*:

Aw. So cute.

Alaskanmama, Lynn W., Louisa A., Mary Ann S.& Susan H., if soccer's not your thing, then here's a bakery with all KINDS of Ninja designs to choose from:

See? Something for everyone!

*Note from john: It should be noted that Jen firmly believes that anything vaguely rectangular and green with lines on it must, by default, involve soccer. I think it's because she's Irish and enjoys body paint and rioting.

Follow-Up Note from Jen: Do not! Sometimes I think they involve hockey.