My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Haunted Holidays

[creaking door] "Welcome, foolish mortals, to Santa's Playhouse! Mwu-ha-ha-haa!" [dog howls]
"Please, come into the firelight, won't you?"

"Our candles are made with only the most festive blood-red wax. It helps bring out the holiday spirits, you see." [wind blowing]

[water drips] "Don't mind the cobwebs; we find they give the Playhouse a homey feel."

"Now, I'm sure you're just dying to meet Santa, aren't you?" [heart beating] "Well, here he is! Ahahahaha!"

"Loook into my eeeeyes..."

[door slams] [running feet]

"Wait, where are you going, my friends? Don't you want your Polaroid? Only $12.99!!"

Beth A., Deanna T., and Bradley W., hurry baa-aaack. Hurry baa-aaack!

« The Cutest Misspellings of "Happy Birthday" I Have Ever Seen | Main | Artistic License »

Reader Comments (138)

I think the candle is the wreckiest cake today...followed shortly by the psycho santa.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

i still don't understand what that first one is. it's a candle, REALLY?!?! that makes my heart sad.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrebekah

LOLOL!! Nothing says "Happy Holidays" quite like a bleeding marshmallow, cobwebs and a demonic Santa.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Is the second one supposed to be a Yule log frosted in white?

The Santa cake is about a month and a half late for the holiday it looks like it was intended for...


December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Candle my foot...that's a re-creation of the Christmas Eve my mom almost cut her finger off on a can of green beans and I had to drive her to the emergency room with a t-shirt wrapped around the wound. (true story...and I'm sorry but that flame just looks like spurting blood to me).
And as for were on the NAUGHTY list this year. But Santa will still bring you presents. In exchange for your SOUL! MWAHAHAH!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Mommy, when I sat on Santa's lap, I started telling him what I wanted for Christmas, but then I think I told him about where we keep the emergency cash and the good silver and the code for the alarm system. Is that bad?

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEeeek!!


December 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrishabree

Not only is Santa hypnotizing me - which purely on its own merit is creeping me out - but his whiskers are made of shaving cream. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Word verification (deep breath): "rhedi" as in Redi-Whip.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Truly a Nightmare before Christmas...

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWoof

Wow, that has to be the scariest holiday spirit I've ever seen! Thanks for the frightful tour!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Ack! Is it just me or did Santa get his brows done at "Evil Stylz" hair salon? Sheesh! Even without his 'swirly' eyes....egad!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

Too funny!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNandi

Oh, that is PRICELESS!!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGoofy

Are those webs supposed to be snowflakes???

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMandi

Oh my! Looks like someone's trying to recycle Halloween cakes! LOL.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks a little like the NIGHTMARE before Christmas to me.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterI'm Losing It!

Are you sure that is a candle? Ah well, you're probably right: I dan't know what else it could be!

Love your blog.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I want to go to the Haunted Mansion now after seeing that!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

It took me so long to figure out that was a candle on the 1st cake. I must need coffee or glasses or both.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

OMG, what kind of stores are these coming from? You could frost 10 cakes with the amount of frosting they piled into that "candle" (is that appropriate usage of quotations?) lol

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

What a horrifying Santa! And to make it worse he's a CCC...dun dun dun.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAutumn

Clearly, someone was proud of the spiderweb skills they learned at Halloween. And before I read the first one was a candle, I was cocking my head to try to figure out what it was.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie Hanson

Ignoring that Santa is a CCC (which we really CAN'T ignore), he's not that bad. I mean, shouldn't he be a little pale? I can't imagine there's much chance to tan up in the North Pole. His eyes... his eyes... they are strangely hypnotic......

The other two, though, UGH! I don't even GET the first one.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

That has to be the most evil looking Santa that I have ever seen.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSam, The Nanti-SARRMM

Is the top one really supposed to be a candle??

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"And the murder weapon was a very sharp candle!"

"I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pesky kids!"

Angie (from over at

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

Ahhhhh... this one is a scary post! Especially that creepy, twirlly-eyed "Santa." Ooohhhhh

Why would any baker, in their right mind, imagine & create such a frightening scene???

And just think how the kids would feel!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterArlynn

i don't know whether to laugh or go hide under my bed. demonic santa may give me nightmares.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkerry

ok wow I so didnt see a candle. I had to look at it and then read it again and then I looked at it again. I still didnt see it. I was at the bottom of the post and reread it again. then I kind of saw a candle not really but Jen says its a candle I guess thats what it is. That is a sad candle though.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersweettc

Oh my word...every last bit of that was terrifying...ick ick ick...WHAT are decorators thinking? I wasn't the best decorator in my time as one, but...I'd never do something that atrocious...

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterchelizz

Why would a white candle have red wax dripping on it? That's just crazy. I can see the severed finger that Leslie sees.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Tildy Spot

I think the Santa cake is cute. He has the same eyes as Fred Flintstone while in a trance.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those are some great spiderweb skills...unfortunately no one told the decorator that spiderwebs don't belong on a Christmas cake...

That candle and Santa are hideous.... Laughing at the shaving cream comment from Alix.... I scrolled back up and it DOES look like a shaving cream beard...

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Maybe the first one is supposed to be for Hanukkah? It IS the Festival of Lights. (however that cake is more of a Fugtival!)

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

That blue icing on the ‘candle’ makes me want to brush my teeth...

On the second day of Christmas Cake Wrecks, Jen brought to me, two (well...three really) leftover Halloween wrecks, AND...a reindeer in the shape of a floppy-eared bunny!

I’ve always wondered on this song if the receiver ended up with 12 partridges in a pear tree or if they just like re-listing what they got over and over again...hmmm...(goes off to do some research)...

~Bonnie B~

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

Actually, I realized fairly quickly (for a wreck) that the first one is a candle, albeit a bleeding one, but I'm still scratching my head over the second. Wha?! I'm going to hope Mandi's guess of snowflakes is correct, because I can't come up with anything remotely better.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm glad you mentioned that the first one was supposed to be a candle. Otherwise, I never would have guessed.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

I must have a really dirty mind, because it was NOT a candle I saw... more like an emergency room scene, or the aftermath of Lorena Bobbitt! And the Satan, er, I mean Santa? I haven't laughed that hard since... yesterday's wreck! Thank you so, so much...


Word Ver: downp - the art of peeing DOWN INTO the toilet, an art my 2 and 7 year old still need to master.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTiff D.

Are you sure the candle isn't a Hannukah cake?

Lol. I thought the Santa was rather well done until I saw the eyes....

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

Obviously, the decorator of that first one doesn't realize that only red candles produce red wax. I still don't believe it's a candle.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Spider webs and Christmas cheer. They always go hand-in-hand, right?
I could tell the first was a candle..but why on a blue background, and why would a white candle drip blood-red wax? Hmmm...
~Amy B

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I second the Yule log theory on the cobweb cake, although for the life of me I can't figure out why it's white, if that's the case.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJagyularr

Well, a lot of bakers do the spiderweb thing to represent the rings in a cut log, however, this one is waaaay over done, as well as, WTF a white Yule Log? Ug!

Also, what candle has a red flame? Much less blood dripping from it? Merry Christmas, muahahaha.


December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Of course evil santa is a CCC...makes total sense to me :)

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhat's Her Face

Mrs. Peacock, with the candlestick, in the kitchen, ftw!

Word Verification: fripy - The process of getting ripped off by frugal decorators

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

Oh what fun...more blue pooh!

At least if you were brave(?) enough to purchase the Santa CCC you could have a quick exocism and remove what appears to be plastic wrapped candy swirly eyeballs!

And I do beliee that is supposed to be a log. Considering how we all feel about brown icing, maybe the decorator was thinking "I'll just go for the snow covered birch log and show a little end-grain to drive the point home...plant a pointsetta in front of the imaginary fireplace...add plastic snowman cuz, hey he's sitting here..and voila! Holiday cake!"


December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I want to see a face-off between evil Santa and the evil clowns!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Applebee

Two words...why? wow?!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShelly...

Santa might want to reconsider the shape that he waxed his eyebrows in! Oh my!!!

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersteph

Argh. That bright blue icing is my biggest nemesis! Nothing makes me crazier than when grown ups walk around with blue lips and teeth from too much food coloring in their cake.

December 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCake for Breakfast

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>