My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

This Week on Antiques Road Show...

It's rare to find authentic vintage cakes these days, but here we have a remarkably well preserved pair circa 1963. Note the "risque" surfer girl figurine - complete with original fabric lingerie! - and of course the matching surfer "dude" in a similarly provocative pose.

If you look here on the sides [pointing with metal expandable pointer-thingy] you'll see designs quite reminiscent of either wicker or macrame, both ancient arts most fortuitously abandoned once the nation as a whole shook off the decade's marijuana-induced haze. And speaking of marijuana, [looking over glasses] that is what was most likely used to make this "grass": the leaves were often crumbled onto cakes as an added "flavor enhancer". I suspect we could also blame marijuana for the overall lack of aesthetic appeal, but of course that's merely conjecture on my part. [pompous chortling]

Ahem. Yes, well.

There has been some damage inflicted on the icing over the years, and that frilly lace collar was no doubt added by a later owner, but - and here's the really exciting part - if you turn the cakes over like so, you can still just make out the original "Made in China" label. Exquisite.

(Submitted by my very own hubby, John. Thanks, Behbe!)

« The First Censored Cake Wreck | Main | When Teletubbies Need More Fiber »

Reader Comments (29)

Hey that one on the top looks like the old baskety napkin holder on my kitchen table that my mom pulled out of the basement to give me when I first moved out on my own. *sigh* memories!

July 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBanana

WOW. And WOW. I especially love the Tulle at the bottom. It goes so well with almost naked figurines. Where did you find this?

July 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkristin

Really. Where in the world did you find these pics?

I can still buy that tulle at my local cake store, but ... WHY?

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKevin

Did the girl do a little mud wrestling first? Look at her elbow, and the top of the cake! :)

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterarosstex

I actually took these pictures in Brooklyn in the window of the sketchiest bakery I've ever seen. I thought of submitting them to Cake Wrecks but posted them on my blog instead:

Glad to see they made it here somehow!


July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjuuulia

Uhm... I don't get it. Are they at the park? If so, could they not have found a spot to lay out that ISN'T half in the mud and half on the grass? Or are they at the beach? Some non-sand bearing grassy beach. And if they are at the beach, someone needs to tell the Liev Schreiber looking dude on the bottom cake that he needs to leave his champagne bottle at home. No open containers. Hey, wait, maybe he's going to put a message in that bottle in the hopes of getting himself off the deserted island! Nevermind, I think I just figured out the cake.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterellemenopii


I'm glad you found the site! Thanks for posting and answering the question of where these cakes came from.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

there's nothing more appetizing than beige icing.

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersoosan

Wow! This is an amazing site, thank you for creating it. But I think the second "surfer dude" might actually be modeled after Burt Reynolds' nude centerfold in Cosmo or Playgirl or wherever it was. What do you think?

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKlevaBich

You know, those figures are still available to buy new. They are called "Sexy Sue" and "Macho Man." The female comes with different hair and skin colors--to suit your preference.

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

The tiny landscaped area is set off so that there will be a huge area on which to write important bachelor/bachelorette party messages -- otherwise the whole cake would have "lawn" on it. Of course the icing has to be beige -- that's what color the ground is. This is an up-to-the-minute, eminently practical, quintessentially Brooklyn cake design, and it reminds me of the wedding cake in the window of a bakery in Sunset Park that was a replica of Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrows church, complete with its twin outdoor staircases upon which were posed at least 8 bridesmaids in deep purple and mustard yellow gowns.

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthisbagisnotatoy

I bought that male figure for my roommate's bday cake last year (she turned 20) from iParty. He now sits on our windowsil

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

a pin up girl and burt reynold's cosmo pose, how retro. i wonder if the original colour was that odd fecal brown.

July 25, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdykewife

Years ago, I was the cake decorator at a local supermarket deli, and both of these were available as "kits" to decorate cakes. If memory serves me correctly, the "macho man" cake was decorated with a bearskin rug (made out of icing, naturally), but I don't really remember how we decorated the "Sexy Sue" cakes. Thankfully, both of these were short-lived trends, and my cake customers went on to more tasteful decorations :-)

July 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm relieved by the thought that the "grass" is "grass."

I was afraid it was lichen!

July 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpepperjackcandy

One of these beauties is on display in The City Reliquary after leaving its home in the South Side bakery's display window.

July 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The poor girl looks like she's being attacked by a swarm of ants in a cheap Italian horror movie.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I'm thinking the top one is Ginger on Gilligan't island, but the bottom one can't be Skipper. Can it??? Nah... Must be Thurston Howell.

August 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey! that Ken-doll I had on my birthday cake too! :D

August 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarjolein

oh good lord! I took photos of these same two cakes at a bakery in Brooklyn the same week. I thought the female doll was hilarious, as she'd obviously fallen over into the icing and had been put back in to place without being cleaned off. Looks like she's been mudwrestling. Tasty!

August 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am still trying to figure out why someone would ever preserve a cake. What colour was the icing originally? Was it white? And wasn't marijuana illegal then, as it is now?

My head is swirling... I just don't understand... I've always taken pictures of cakes instead of preserving them... am I missing something?

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJuliet

I have a picture of my mom at her 20 something birthday with a cake and this exact same doll on it, only the cake is blue! Should I scan it and send it in?

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermelgody

Oh my god... I had that exact same guy-in-speedo inflicted on me on my 16th birthday!!! Horrid then and horrid now.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrazy Raven Productions

It's been too long since I've seen a Sexy Sue figurine in full nude under the mesh "dress." I was really excited when they decided to clean her up with leather bondage looking bra top and bottom. Oh Bakery Crafts, you kinky devil.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

The New York Times did a" REL="nofollow">story about the bakery and those weird cakes a year ago

I hope the edible cake comes with sexy ladies too.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermadrugada

I had forgotten that doll! My uncle had one and I found it one day visiting and decided to play with it. Mom was not too pleased.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Beige thats eye catching ;) x

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Classing up smooch-cake?
Nothing like a frilled edge of

July 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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