My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wrecks Takes a Field Trip

Today, class, we're going to see an example of how other sugary foods can become Wrecks.

Here we have what looks at first glance to be a perfectly normal hamburger:

But check out the description sent to me by the "architectural foodsmiths" over at Bompas & Parr:

"The burger, known as the Monnow Valley Burger, is comprised of a hamburger patty with two slices of melted cheese, tomatoes, secret sauce and onions sandwiched inside a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed donut and garnished with a slice of gherkin. The Monnow Valley Burger contains up to 1000 calories and 45 grams of fat."


This is nuts! I mean, c'mon, "architectural foodsmiths"? They stick a Whopper in a Krispy Kreme, and they get to call themselves "architectural foodsmiths"? Really?

I guess in their defense, they also created this snazzy little number:

That's pork and tomatoes under that sugary-sprinkled donut shell, my friends. Awww yeeeah.

Now that I've whet your appetites, I'm sure you're demanding to know just where you can procure one of these culinary delights. Well, if you live across the pond you're in luck: they debut this Saturday, September 20th, at the Abergavenny Food Festival in Britain.

And here's the kicker: Bompas & Parr are billing the Monnow Valley Drive-Thru where the burgers are served as "the ultimate American eating and entertainment experience". So going by their press release, the "ultimate American experience" equals hotdog-eating-contests, theater performances in which the actors are dressed as "a flock of burgers", screenings of the movie Pulp Fiction, and of course thousand-calorie-donut-burgers.

Wow. So much to be offended by, so little time.

Actually, I'm kind of torn: this could in fact be brilliant satire, considering our American love-affair with gut-busting fast food and general idiocy. I mean, the show "Flavor of Love" alone should by all rights get us kicked back into the Stone Age, so if donut-burgers and hotdog-eating-contests are the Brits' way of poking fun, huzzah and well played. If, on the other hand, they honestly think Pulp Fiction and prancing flocks of burgers epitomizes US culture, then let me be the first to remind Bompas & Parr that we Americans may be fat, and have questionable taste in entertainment, but we can occasionally tell when we're being insulted. And furthermore, we don't like it very much. (Being insulted, I mean; not the other stuff.)

So there.

Many thanks to Bompas & Parr for the photos and info. Guys, I don't know if I should shake your hands or slap your faces. Maybe you should send me some of those donut burgers so I can make an informed decision.

And as for the rest of you: field trip over! We continue with our regularly scheduled Cake Wrecks tomorrow.

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Reader Comments (170)

Ugh. Please post a disclaimer- "Do NOT check Cakewrecks on days when you are recovering from the stomach flu."

-Is it possible to relapse from a photo?!? Good job, guys.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUnder the Radar

Oh- and let's not forget that this is the country that brought us a dessert called "Spotted Dick."

Seriously. It's SUET pudding with currants. Now I AM relapsing.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUnder the Radar

I've heard that everything is better with bacon....I may rethink that.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwifeogeek

It's just like the American restaurant in the Mr. F episodes of Arrested Development!! All they're missing are gallons of soda!


September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Hey now, Pulp Fiction is better than _all_ those other things listed. In a deliberately-bad-yet-awesome sort of way.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSome Other Jen

This was actually "invented" a few years ago by a minor league baseball team in St. Louis, although the Brits may have perfected it. Check it here:" REL="nofollow">Krispy Kreme Burger

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZeunasc

...Okay. This is... interesting. Living in the UK at the moment (for school), I have to say that this is more Scotland than U.S. -- after all, though many State Fairs will sell the deep fried Twinkies, they ORIGINATED in the UK, in Glasgow, probably.

As for this representing the ultimate American experience, I think there's a disconnect; people in the U.K. have trouble with the scope and size of the U.S. -- California alone could fit Scotland inside and still have room for England and Wales (but we'd have to leave out the islands). Instead of this being the American experience, maybe it's only, say... Memphis? I mean, don't you see Elvis eating that pork thing? With peanut butter, of course...

...but whatever else this craptastic architectural foodsmithing might be, it surely is not representative of American me.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentert

Actually this is beign held in Wales. England brought you the Spotted Dick. Way to go to the Welsh for deciding deep fried Mars bars were not good enough for their party

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYankee in England

They just stole ideas from the US

Gotta show some deepfried battered pizza from scotland.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercaradea

no need to travel across the pond! This is most likely an homage to the http://" REL="nofollow">Luther Burger of Decatur GA and elsewhere. I believe it's also called the Vandross in some circles.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkirsten

why pulp fiction? that's one of my all-time favorite movies and there are a couple of hamburger references in it (Royale with Cheese and the Big Kahuna Burger). but there is also tons of swearing, killing and drug abuse. it's fun for the whole family!

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

And breakfast was going so well until I read this blog... Ewww!!

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

That's actually a ripoff of the Luther Burger, which was served at a restaurant in Decatur, Ga. (Mulligan's) before they closed down last year." REL="nofollow">Seen here.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterglitzee76

UGH! I can't even IMAGINE eating something like that. Just when I was about to have a healthy breakfast too....

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I was reading along and I got the words Krispy Kreme and I threw up a little in my mouth. Not that I have anything against hamburgers or Krispy Kreme for that matter. But together, they sound positively vomit inducing.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A favorite recipe of Paula Deen:

Her special ingredient is a fried egg.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's wrong that I'm hungry, isn't it? I'm so ashamed.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Nastiness. Plain nastiness.

I like to mix my sweet and salty, but a burger and pickles on a Krispy Kreme is sick.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

RED ROBIN does the fried egg burger... my sons girlfriend got it and it was actually (OH dear will I actually say this) it tasted ok... I woudl nto want it but I had to taste it ya know... but to mix a krispy kream and hamburger... that should be illegal... ack

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura ~Peach~

Both made my stomach lurch. In a bad, gag me, kinda way.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEunice

Gagging, gagging, gagging!!!! That is just disgusting!!!!

As if eating a big burger and Krispy Kreme donut by themselves isn't bad let's slam them together and consume our caloric intake for the day all in one meal!


September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Barnes Crew

I see zeunasc beat me to this: I remember hearing about the Krispy Kreme burger a few years ago from the Gateway Grizzlies ballpark in Sauget, IL. Still haven't had a chance to try it, but since I have successfully braved poutine, I'm up for about anything.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

Oh my god, that's disgusting. At first, I thought they were cakes that looked like hamburgers and thought to myself, "Oh, okay, it's unappetizing, but it's kind of cool that someone could do that."

It is absolutely foul that someone would put a burger between two halves of a donut. I will go throw up now.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

Do they think that they came up with that idea? I don't really understand, the concept of a burger on a Krispy Kreme (as horrible as it may be) has been around for a longggg time. :(

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I first saw the burger and went 'Huh, not so bad...'

Then, I took a closer look.

Sweet Zombie Jesus.

That is the unholy trinity of fat.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSorsha

mmmmmmm, donuts and pork products. Two of my favorite things! If there was cheese on it, and it was served with a glass of wine, I'd be good to go.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

There are so many things wrong with a donut burger in the first place but did they have to use Krispy Kreme donuts? I'm calling foul on that.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercraftygeekmama

this is oddly appetizing.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Disclaimer, I'm not a Brit rather a Paddy from next door...

I'd say that there's probably at least some irony at work here.

Ultimate might be a bit off the mark but certain elements are very much references to US pop culture. I don't know about the UK but certainly I'm not aware of a permanent drive-in cinema in Ireland.

Pulp Fiction is probably just chosen as a film with a prominent burger reference, and also one where a certain age group will know a chunk of the dialogue more or less verbatim, ala Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Actually there's a thought somebody obviously came up with the idea for this event and needed a hook, "The ultimate something experience". What other word could you drop in there, Obesity? Elvis? There are enough elements in there that it's sufficiently recognizable, and using 'American' is a little more exotic than 'Milton Keynes'.

Perhaps they should have gone with "Morgan Spurlock" and shown "Supersize Me" instead.

Trust me though, I'm pretty sure that people know that not everyone in the US is like "The Simpsons", "Desperate Housewives" and so on including your choice of Quentin Tarrantino films.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

I agree with Tiffany, it made me think of Arrested Development's "American" restaurant in little England.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergraduatedlearning

AWESOME commentary!

I agree, I am not sure how I feel about the true American experience thing. Kinda insulted? But like you said, if it's suppose to be satire, then I'm all for laughing at our culture. We are a bit on the chubby side (myself included) and prone to enjoy no-thinking-required TV (my current fav is "Wipeout", but then again, I loved the Japanese original, so it's not like we're the only country to enjoy mindless entertainment)

Personally, I heart bacon and donuts, but I'm really not sure I want to eat them in the same bite. I tend to separate opposite flavors.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

I remain not all that impressed.

A regular Big Mac manages to pack the same 45 grams of fat into a mere 540 calories (suggesting that only 90 of its calories are NOT from fat, including the lettuce and pickle). And it doesn't even involve bacon or donuts.

I have always been a little curious about those deep fried Mars bars, though.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramelia-eve

I'm having a coronary just looking at it...dear gods!

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpooka

But wait, before we're too scandalized at donut-burgers epitomizing the view of American food from Britain, let's be glad they haven't discovered that REAL American favorite: Deep Fried Twinkies. Available at a fairgrounds near you!


September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersciencegirl

OK, I'm neither American nor British, so a pure unqualified foreigner's opinion:
Ingredients: American (check)
Result: disgusting (no nationality)

And if you want to go for bonafide American weird food (just to balance the deep-fried Mars bars and Spotted Dicks): the Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick have been amusing the US blogging community for quite a while - and they are microwaveable.

NB: Did I mention we Germans invented the Currywurst?

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteravocadohead

as bad as the cheeseburger on a doughnut sounds, the bacon and tomato on a doughnut (with sprinkles, no less) sounds even more vomit inducing. barf.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkerry

I'm, uh, actually in Scotland currently (university study abroad). Maybe I'll have to pop down this weekend and see this for myself. And drag the other American exchange students, and maybe the Aussies, with me.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterchoiseul

Oh, I think I am going to be ill.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Under the Radar, I don't have the stomach flu, but I was feeling nearly as sickly as you are when I read this.
Oh my goodness...krispy kreme and a burger. Yack!
It reminds me of a sandwich at a resturant here in Huntsville, AL--Mason's. It's the Monty Cristo. (I think I spelled that right.) It's a ham sandwich, deep fried, with confectioner's sugar sprinkled on top, and served with maple syrup. My husband got it once just to try it. He said it was good, but too much to handle. I don't think he'll ever get it again.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDa Mouse

Ugh. That's just disgusting.


September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLis Garrett

mmm.. main course AND dessert all in one bite...

I think i'll be avoiding Wales this weekend.. Abergavenny specifically.... i'm staying firmly on the ENGLAND side of the border.


September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaish

My son has been making donut breakfast sandwiches for years. He doesn't use the Krispy Kreme's, he uses a local bakery donut, and puts sausage, egg and cheeese on it. He loves it. I have never tried it, I kind of like my donuts by themselves. Plus, I don't burn 20,000 calories a day like he does. (OK, I'm exaggerating, but he burns a lot.)

But love that Pulp Fiction, yes I do! I'll take a couple of helpings of that.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPrinceton McKinney

This post nearly made me vomit. I take this as evidence that I am a True American Patriot: Yes, I am going to a county fair next week where I will enjoy questionable entertainment and deep-fried foods, but this whole "Limeys Take It To Its Logical Conclusion" thing makes. me. sick.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermhb

The concessions guy at Yarmouth-Dennis Red Sox games does burgers in donuts (I think one is the burger on a DD old fashioned and the other a patty buried in a jelly donut, barrrarrarf), but he calls them the Hurler and the Sinker. Basically, he just doesn't take it as seriously as these people. :)

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfunnycide

I was hoping the whole thing was sugary treats done up to look like a burger. I wasn't expecting it to be a real burger inside of a donut bun. yawn

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfrenchy

Ewww! I was already nauseous from seeing the first pic, then I scroll down only to see that pork-filled, chocolate-covered mess. I think I'm going to vomit.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManda

I've seen these Krispy Kreme burgers floating around on the web for a while now and I still can't get over the nausea that accompanies each photo. 1000 calories? jiminy cricket.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

I have heard of these burgers before when I liven in NC (where if it ain't fatty or fried, but both are better, it ain't good) but I could never stomach them! In the burger's defense... it looks better than it sounds, without sprinkels of course!

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermb

Can your cholesterol levels increase by looking at pictures? Because I'm pretty sure that my body has just deposited a heaping load of it in my arteries. I don't particularly love doughnuts, nor am I a huge fan of burgers, but I eat both every once in a blue moon. Tolerable apart, but together...GAK.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermeg

That's so weird, my colleague just showed me the Paula Deen burger (that anonymous posted above) yesterday! Paula Deen's is actually worse because she doesn't split the donut, she uses TWO as buns!

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

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