My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Dead Men May Tell No Tales, But Wrecked Cakes Sure Do.

Avast, ye lily livered lubbers! Did ye not know it's Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Now raise yer mugs to winsome wench Kia M., whose bilge-water Wreck here is evidence of some focsal swab drinking up and yo-ho'ing a bit too much while on duty. Mayhaps this is why the rum is always gone, eh, maties?

That sea-sick writing and algae-ridden muck creeping up the sides should earn some scurvy swabbie a one-way ticket to Davy Jones' locker - and seriously, what self-respecting pirate keeps giant yellow inflatable flotation devices onboard? It's totally messing with the color scheme, and don't get me started on that neon "rave", I mean...Arrrr! Yellow bad!

Shiver me soul, I'm running out of pirate lingo, me 'arties. I best be gettin' back to the Pirate ride over at Disney for a refresher course.

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Reader Comments (59)

I think sweetie is a bit old for a pirate cake.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous about a 'Poop' Deck....

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVlad

There are much better confectionary ways to celebrate talk like a pirate day. Linked are the cupcakes I made for work today :-)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergayle

ditto... If this was my "20" cake, I think I'd shoot myself, er, walk the plank.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSnigger Fam

Yer doom be at hand, ye scurvy, where's my bottle of rum?

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

I agree that a 20 year old might be a bit too old for a pirate cake AND to be called sweetie.

What is up with the "H" in Happy? Was the ship rocking when she decorated it?

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

amused: I posted about TLAPD and Cake Wreck today!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

ewwww poop deck indeed! i can't help but wonder is SWEETY 20 months or 20 years old?

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura ~Peach~

Arrrrrgh...did they decorate that during an earthquake?

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermonster

Cap'n Madd Jenny Kidd says, the scallywag who made that one needs to be keelhauled!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Aaarrrgh me pirate friends... looks like they thought they needed to BLOB the deck instead of SWAB the deck! Ick!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfluffy cow

LMAO, that is horrible!


September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyla Waldron

Oh my. OH OH My. That cake has already been pillaged.

Glad you celebrated Talk Like A Pirate Day!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPrinceton McKinney

I got a Miffy-cake, when I turned 20...however, that was on request.

This is a silly exuse for a cake, imho...

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, that is horribly awesome. :)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKerri.

Um, that brown border looks like it's straight from the butt. Hopefully, it's just frosting...

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFunnelcloud Rachel

The people saying a 20-year-old is too old for a pirate cake are clearly not anywhere close to 20 themselves. Pirates are quite popular these days, especially with the Pirates of the Caribbean movies--at my college (I just graduated), there's a thriving pirate club! I would love to have a pirate cake for my 22nd birthday... though, er, not one that looks like that.

P.S. I'm not sure" REL="nofollow">fo'c's'le is an adjective.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClare K. R. Miller

Yarrr! At least "sweetie" was spelled correctly!
That be one fugly poopdeck though with all that poop posing as decoration! Methinks even Captain Jack Sparrow would not make do with that decor scheme.
Methinks the "algae" coming up the sides of the "ship" look like meconium that should be in the baby's diaper in the previous blog entry.
Avast! Hope the cake was edible!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCaliGirl9

WOW! That is amazing! I work at a restaurant that does this cake quite often, but here's what it's supposed to look like!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Avast, ye mateys! Our ship has been attacked by the dreaded Goo Monster! Run for ye lives!

Just what IS the black goo supposed to represent, anyway? Everything else seems pretty clear but that poo goo has me stumped.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSheri in Rehoboth

What is that black stuff supposed to be? It looks like the "presents" my chihuahua left in the floor when I was a kid.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkas

"Arrrr, matey, watch yer back! There be a monstrous huge number twenty behind ye! Those scurvy beasts'll rip yer head clean off!"

(In other words... wrong cake for a number candle.)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

Arrrrr! This be the funniest blog on the net. I be checking from sunup to sundown. yarrrrgh!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterehudwill

Judging by the link that hyla posted, the gobs of...algae stuff...are the Krakken's tentacles.

Looks pretty believable to me.


September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think those black blobby things are supposed to be the Krakken's tentacles, lol.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterskellington7d

yes that is a sad excuse for what that cake was supposed to look like, thanks for the link annette. I made a pirate ship cake last year FOR MY 4 YEAR OLD! It looked WAAAAAY better and I'm definately no professional!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

whoops! Annette posted the link. My bad.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's with all the poop?

I mean, uh, shiver me timbers. That deficatin' 'as got me hurlin'!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZelmarific

Thanks for posting what the actual cake is supposed to look like, Annette. It really doesn't look half-bad if you let a TRUE professional do it.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

thanks annette for finding what this cake is supposed to look like.
Holy crap, it should have looked GOOD!
The disgusting black smears are apparently supposed to be octopus tentacles. Ooops.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ugh, we offer this cake where i work...

trust me, no matter how hard you try, it ALWAYS looks bad.

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous
I used to work in a grocery store bakery that carried these cakes (thanks Annette for posting what it "should" look like).
And not only did the cake kit come with every plastic item (the characters, helm, etc.) but it also came with a detailed card for the decorators on how this cake is made. I mean, these cards had everything from what size icing tip to the exact formula for making the colors!
How this cake got so off course is anyone's guess.

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Just a friendly note: "who's" should be "whose." :)

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I find something about this cake very endearing. yes, it's a wreck, but i'm sure the mom who made it put a lot of love and effort into it. i'm not sure why i'm having this reaction to it. but i think the consideration behind the pirate theme, and the fact that mom went out of her way to make it for her son that is most likely a little ungrateful and angsty, is really innocent and cute. i don't know what has come over me.

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPhil

Wow, that's amazing and i like this

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterazam mansha

Nothing says Happy Birthday like a lot of brown & yellow!

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNeedless To Say

...20??? Hahahahaha!
I wonder if she invited all his freinds over for cake and pirate party games too!

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

We used this for my sons Pirate birthday party a few months ago (he's 3). I hated it, but it sure tasted good! HAHA

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKIM :-)

What on earth is the black stuff oozing down the side? Combined with the doody-brown "walls" built up along the edge, I see an Ex-Lax inspired moment that I don't want to be a part of. Poor Sweetie.

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfug estate

We had this same cake from a grocery store and they did a MUCH better job on it. That "algae" supposed to be grayish-blue Kracken tentacles with little black spots on them, wrapping around the ship. This example was certainly poorly executed, for sure!!!

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter~ Keara

Er..that looks like algae or mold (?) growing up the side of the ship. Perchance it's just been dredged from the bottom of the sea, and the two on it are actually members of a pirate reenactment club?
It could happen! LOL

~Amy B

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Uh, is it just me, or does that "Happy 20th" at the top look more like "hHpasdy pf20d"? than anything else?

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

I sincerely hope Sweetie told him to "Walk the plank"!


September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetikat

Oh my God, I discovered your blog today and I nearly had a cardiac arrest. Of course I had to go back and read every one of your posts from the beginning... what can I say? Thank you so much for this hilarious, disturbing, worrying and nauseating site!!! LOVE YOU!! :D

(Bethany Dean)

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Vintage Anarchist

There used to be a Saturday morning cartoon when I was growing up called The Pirates of Dark Water. Black globs of water would attack their ship and try to kill them and such. I thought this was just an old picture of a cake made for that cartoon. But nope, those are tentacles. This cake would have made perfect sense to me growing up believe it or not.

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that someone just threw up all over the cake and someone else tried to arrange the nuclear waste nicely to make it look like a presentable "poop deck." However everyone in this scenario failed to win. Especially sweetie...poor poor sweetie. I can still hear her sobs now!

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Tantrum

Shiver me timbers! When I saw what the cake was supposed to look like, I was quite impressed at the execution of this cake. Maybe there are octopus tentacles that colour... it was like the decorator didn't have all the materials he/she needed and had to make do.

One thing I have learned from this blog is how easy it is to make icing realistically resemble poo. The colours, the texture... it seems so easy you almost have to try *not* to make it look like poo. :-)

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJuliet

My kids could have made that cake.

Why the heck does Sweetie get so many bad cakes anyway?

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

Phil: what's come over you is that you forgot Cake Wrecks is about professional cakes, not Mom cakes. I'd cut a Mom a break too, but someone paid for this.

Janet: until you said that, I actually had not realized there was an icing "20" in there. I just thought the "H" was REALLY out of control.

Everyone: go look at the link Annette posted, for the company that makes the plastic pieces. There are two sample pictures. I kept looking at the second one, wondering what was up with it. Why did it have scalloped edges? Ships usually do not have scalloped edges. (Ok, they usually aren't rectangular, either, but you know what I mean.) Then I looked again.
... The second picture is a cupcake cake. These people are encouraging cupcake cakes. They must be stopped.

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

mmmmm - I wouldn't mind licking the frosting off Capt. Jack Sparrow's boots though. . .

(did I say that out loud?)

September 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThreeundertwo

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